Pelle the Conqueror

for that was only childish nonsense⁠—but still bigger than all the rest of the world put together. “Yes, it’s big! But what are you doing, laddie?”
“Why, can’t you see I’m a soldier that’s had one leg shot off?”
“Oh, you’re an old crippled pensioner, are you? But you shouldn’t do that, for God doesn’t like things like that. You might become a real cripple, and that would be dreadful.”
“Oh, He doesn’t see, because He’s in the churches today!” answered the boy; but for safety’s sake he thought it better to leave off. He stationed himself at the stable-door, whistling, but suddenly came running in with great eagerness: “Father, there’s the Agricultural! Shall I run and fetch the whip?”
“No, I expect we’d better leave him alone. It might be the death of him; fine gentlemen scamps like that can’t stand a licking. The fright alone might kill him.” Lasse glanced doubtfully at the boy.
Pelle looked very much disappointed. “But suppose he does it again?”
“Oh, no, we won’t let him off without a good fright. I shall pick him up and hold him out at arm’s length dangling in the air until he begs for mercy; and then I shall put him down again just as quietly. For Lasse doesn’t like being angry. Lasse’s a decent fellow.”
“Then you must pretend to let him go while you’re holding him high up in the air; and then he’ll scream and think he’s going to die, and the others’ll come and laugh at him.”
“No, no; you mustn’t tempt your father! It might come into my mind to throw him down, and that would be murder and penal servitude for life, that would! No, I’ll just give him a good scolding; that’s what a classy scoundrel like that’ll feel most.”
“Yes, and then you must call him a spindle-shanked clodhopper. That’s what the bailiff calls him when he’s angry with him.”
“No, I don’t think that would do either; but I’ll speak so seriously with him that he won’t be likely to forget it in a hurry.”
Pelle was quite satisfied. There was no one like his father, and of course he would be as good at blowing people up as at everything else. He had never heard him do it, and he was looking forward to it immensely while he hobbled along with the bootjack. He was not using it as a wooden leg now, for fear of tempting Providence; but he held it under his arm like a crutch, supporting it on the edge of the foundation wall, because it was too short. How splendid it would be to go on two crutches like the parson’s son at home! He could jump over the very longest puddles.
There was a sudden movement of light and shadow up under the roof, and when Pelle turned round, he saw a strange boy standing in the doorway out to the field. He was of the same height as Pelle, but his head was almost as large as that of a grown man. At first sight it appeared to be bald all over; but when the boy moved in the sun, his bare head shone as if covered with silver scales. It was covered with fine, whitish hair, which was thinly and fairly evenly distributed over the face and everywhere else; and his skin was pink, as were the whites of his eyes. His face was all drawn into wrinkles in the strong light, and the back of his head projected unduly and looked as if it were much too heavy.
Pelle put his hands in his trouser pockets and went up to him. “What’s your name?” he said, and tried to expectorate between his front teeth as Gustav was in the habit of doing. The attempt was a failure, unfortunately, and the saliva only ran down his chin. The strange boy grinned.
“Rud,” he said, indistinctly, as if his tongue were thick and unmanageable. He was staring enviously at Pelle’s trouser pockets. “Is that your father?” he asked, pointing at Lasse.
“Of course!” said Pelle, consequentially. “And he can thrash everybody.”
“But my father can buy everybody, because he lives up there.” And Rud pointed toward the big house.
“Oh, does he really?” said Pelle, incredulously. “Why don’t you live there with him, then?”
“Why, I’m a bastard-child; mother says so herself.”
“The deuce she does!” said Pelle, stealing a glance at his father on account of the little oath.
“Yes, when she’s cross. And then she beats me, but then I run away from her.”
“Oh, you do, do you!” said a voice outside. The boys started and retreated farther into the stable, as a big, fat woman appeared in the doorway, and looked angrily round in the dim light. When she caught sight of Rud, she continued her scolding. Her accent was Swedish.
“So you run away, do you, you cabbage-head! If you’d only run so far that you couldn’t find your way back again, a body wouldn’t need to wear herself out thrashing a misbegotten imp like you! You’ll go to the devil anyhow, so don’t worry yourself about that! So that’s the boy’s father, is it?” she said, suddenly breaking off as she caught sight of Lasse.
“Yes, it is,” said Lasse, quietly. “And surely you must be schoolmaster Johan Pihl’s Johanna from Tommelilla, who left the country nearly twenty years ago?”
“And surely you must be the smith’s tomcat from Sulitjelma, who had twins out of an old wooden shoe the year before last?” retorted the big woman, imitating his tone of voice.
“Very well; it doesn’t matter to me who you are!” said the old man in an offended tone. “I’m not a police spy.”
“One would think you were from the way you question. Do you know when the cattle are to go out?”
“Tomorrow, if all’s well. Is it your little boy who’s going to show Pelle how things go? The bailiff spoke of someone who’d go out with him and show him the grazing-ground.”
“Yes, it’s that Tom Noddy there. Here, come out so that we can see you