Henry V
of it.Bardolph It is certain, corporal, that he is married to Nell Quickly; and certainly she did you wrong; for you were troth-plight to her. Nym I cannot tell: things must be as they may: men may sleep, and they may have their throats about them at that time; and some say knives have edges. It must be as it may: though patience be a tired mare, yet she will plod. There must be conclusions. Well, I cannot tell. Enter Pistol and Hostess. Bardolph Here comes Ancient Pistol and his wife: good corporal, be patient here. How now, mine host Pistol! Pistol Base tike, call’st thou me host?
Now, by this hand, I swear, I scorn the term;
Nor shall my Nell keep lodgers.Hostess No, by my troth, not long; for we cannot lodge and board a dozen or fourteen gentlewomen that live honestly by the prick of their needles, but it will be thought we keep a bawdy house straight. Nym and Pistol draw. O well a day, Lady, if he be not drawn now! we shall see wilful adultery and murder committed. Bardolph Good lieutenant! good corporal! offer nothing here. Nym Pish! Pistol Pish for thee, Iceland dog! thou prick-ear’d cur of Iceland! Hostess Good Corporal Nym, show thy valour, and put up your sword. Nym Will you shog off? I would have you solus. Pistol “Solus,” egregious dog! O viper vile!
The “solus” in thy most mervailous face;
The “solus” in thy teeth, and in thy throat,
And in thy hateful lungs, yea, in thy maw, perdy,
And, which is worse, within thy nasty mouth!
I do retort the “solus” in thy bowels;
For I can take, and Pistol’s cock is up,
And flashing fire will follow.Nym I am not Barbason; you cannot conjure me. I have an humour to knock you indifferently well. If you grow foul with me, Pistol, I will scour you with my rapier, as I may, in fair terms: if you would walk off, I would prick your guts a little, in good terms, as I may: and that’s the humour of it. Pistol O braggart vile and damned furious wight!
The grave doth gape, and doting death is near;
Therefore exhale.Bardolph Hear me, hear me what I say: he that strikes the first stroke, I’ll run him up to the hilts, as I am a soldier.Draws. Pistol An oath of mickle might; and fury shall abate.
Give me thy fist, thy fore-foot to me give:
Thy spirits are most tall.Nym I will cut thy throat, one time or other, in fair terms: that is the humour of it. Pistol “Couple a gorge!”
That is the word. I thee defy again.
O hound of Crete, think’st thou my spouse to get?
No; to the spital go,
And from the powdering-tub of infamy
Fetch forth the lazar kite of Cressid’s kind,
Doll Tearsheet she by name, and her espouse:
I have, and I will hold, the quondam Quickly
For the only she; and—pauca, there’s enough.
Go to.Enter the Boy. Boy Mine host Pistol, you must come to my master, and you, hostess: he is very sick, and would to bed. Good Bardolph, put thy face between his sheets, and do the office of a warming-pan. Faith, he’s very ill. Bardolph Away, you rogue! Hostess By my troth, he’ll yield the crow a pudding one of these days. The king has killed his heart. Good husband, come home presently. Exeunt Hostess and Boy. Bardolph Come, shall I make you two friends? We must to France together: why the devil should we keep knives to cut one another’s throats? Pistol Let floods o’erswell, and fiends for food howl on! Nym You’ll pay me the eight shillings I won of you at betting? Pistol Base is the slave that pays. Nym That now I will have: that’s the humour of it. Pistol As manhood shall compound: push home.They draw. Bardolph By this sword, he that makes the first thrust, I’ll kill him; by this sword, I will. Pistol Sword is an oath, and oaths must have their course. Bardolph Corporal Nym, and thou wilt be friends, be friends: an thou wilt not, why, then, be enemies with me too. Prithee, put up. Nym I shall have my eight shillings I won from you at betting? Pistol A noble shalt thou have, and present pay;
And liquor likewise will I give to thee,
And friendship shall combine, and brotherhood:
I’ll live by Nym, and Nym shall live by me;
Is not this just? for I shall sutler be
Unto the camp, and profits will accrue.
Give me thy hand.Nym I shall have my noble? Pistol In cash most justly paid. Nym Well, then, that’s the humour of’t. Re-enter Hostess. Hostess As ever you come of women, come in quickly to Sir John. Ah, poor heart! he is so shaked of a burning quotidian tertian, that it is most lamentable to behold. Sweet men, come to him. Nym The king hath run bad humours on the knight; that’s the even of it. Pistol Nym, thou hast spoke the right;
His heart is fracted and corroborate.Nym The king is a good king: but it must be as it may; he passes some humours and careers. Pistol Let us condole the knight; for, lambkins, we will live. Exeunt. Scene II
Southampton. A council-chamber.
Enter Exeter, Bedford and Westmoreland. Bedford ’Fore God, his grace is bold, to trust these traitors. Exeter They shall be apprehended by and by. Westmoreland How smooth and even they do bear themselves!
As if allegiance in their bosoms sat,
Crowned with faith and constant loyalty.Bedford The king hath note of all that they intend,
By interception which they dream not of.Exeter Nay, but the man that was his bedfellow,
Whom he hath dull’d and cloy’d with gracious favours,
That he should, for a foreign purse, so sell
His sovereign’s life to death and treachery.Trumpets sound. Enter King Henry, Scroop, Cambridge, Grey, and Attendants. King Henry Now sits the wind fair, and we will aboard.
My Lord of Cambridge, and my kind Lord of Masham,
And you, my gentle knight, give me your