Bedfordshire Clanger Calamity

tell anyone. I only know because I saw it on Companies House. She has an equal share of the business. Fifty percent is his, and fifty percent is hers. I told you she was a gold-digger!’ she made a point of reminding everyone. ‘It didn’t take her long to bump him off, did it? I bet the ink on her signature wasn’t even dry before she wrapped the rope around his neck.’
One of the other women behind the counter cried out in revulsion at the mental image, but Victor was on his feet and his face looked like a volcano about to erupt. ‘You’d better shut your mouth, April. Or so help me …’
‘What?’ she laughed in his face. ‘You’ll bump me off? Like sister like brother. Some family, aren’t they?’ she shared her joke with the rest of the staff, not that any of them thought it funny. Cutting him off before he could say anymore, she spun around and started walking toward the door that led from the counter area to whatever lay beyond in the rear of the premises. ‘If you don’t mind, someone needs to do the books now that Miss Homewrecker isn’t here. Maybe we’ll be able to keep our jobs if someone steps up to manage this place properly now.’ It was quite clear from her comment that she was referring to herself in the role of manager, taking the post because there was no one to appoint her. The door swung shut behind her before anyone could do anything to argue.
Albert tilted his head and thought about all that he had seen and heard in the last half an hour. It was a curious set of circumstances.
Rex was curious too. Curious enough to try talking to the angry dachshund. ‘Hey, Weiner,’ he chuffed at the dog. Hans was back on the floor, unceremoniously dumped there when Victor sprang to his feet to fight with April.
Hans turned his head slowly to look at the German Shepherd. He wasn’t a fan of large dogs. They all thought size was the only factor that mattered and this one looked like he’d been cross bred with a bear. ‘My name is Hans,’ he growled.
‘Okay, Hans. My human is what passes for clever among humans. He might be able to help with what is going on. Have you smelled anything new or unusual near your territory?’
Hans tilted his head and narrowed his eyes. ‘What are you? A police dog?’
‘Yes, actually. I used to be anyway. My human was a police officer.’
‘Like those humans that took my human away?’ growled Hans. ‘You expect me to trust you? You look like a big dumb brute to me. Getting my human back is going to take brains not brawn. Leave the detective work to me, you don’t look qualified. I’ll let you know if I need someone to pee really high up on a lamppost.’
Rex frowned at the small dog but wouldn’t let himself rise to the bait.
Albert had run out of reasons to stay in the café. Most of the customers had already left, put off by the ugly display by April so soon after the unpleasant scenes with the police. A few had taken up Victor’s offer of a free clanger, but most just left, their hunger already sated and the desire to leave greater than the draw of free food.
Only two men remained, the two Albert had to apologise to when Rex went under their table to get a flake of food. He didn’t feel his conversation with Victor had ended – he certainly had more questions he wanted answers to, but this wasn’t his investigation, he wasn’t a serving police officer, and it was very possible that they already had the right person in custody.
With a quick shake of Rex’s lead, Albert got himself moving toward the door. Victor ran after him.
‘Mr Smith,’ he called.
‘Albert will do.’
‘Albert, I just wanted to thank you for your time. You came in for the class, didn’t you? I hope this hasn’t spoiled the experience. It’s always such a pleasure for us to share our craft with others. The clanger has such a fine tradition in these parts.’
‘It was what brought me all the way here, Victor. It’s getting late though; I think I’ll be off. I hope your sister is proven to be innocent.’ It was a throwaway statement, a thing to say as he went out the door.
By his knee, Rex was sniffing the air near the two men sitting in the window. He had no reason to do so, but much like a human has to always be looking at something, so a dog must always be sniffing and sorting smells. He filed away the various scents, categorising and memorising as he always did without conscious thought about why or how.
His lead went taut: his human was already outside on the pavement and looking to move away. A light drizzle had set in, which pleased Rex not one bit. Nor the sniggering that came from behind as Hans made a clever remark about moving along like a good boy. The dachshund said, ‘Good boy,’ with more emphasis than was necessary to drive his point home. Rex almost spun around to growl a reply but acted instead as if he hadn’t heard. If he got the chance, he was going to accidentally pee on the annoying dog’s head.
Albert got about halfway to the pub before he changed his mind about interfering.

In the Shadows
The rain was picking up by the time Albert turned around. He’d been trying to convince himself that he would have a nice, quiet, and above all pleasant evening reading a book in the pub. He could relax in his room for a while and maybe get a bath. Rex didn’t need dinner because he’d just eaten an entire eighteen inch long clanger, but