Christmas at White Pines
could rely.“Anytime,” he teased despite her nasty tone.
Once again he’d surprised her, causing her to wonder if the quiet humor had always been there, if it had simply been overshadowed by his brothers’ high spirits.
Still, Jessie was in no mood for levity, as welcome a change as it was. “Luke, I’m serious. She’s going to start howling any second now. I can tell. And this diaper you cut from one of your old flannel shirts is sopping. We can’t keep cutting up your clothes every time she’s wet.”
“I have shirts I haven’t even taken out of their boxes yet,” he said, making light of her concern for his wardrobe. “If I lose a few, it’s for a good cause. Besides, I think she looks festive in red plaid.”
As he spoke, he approached the bed warily, as if suddenly uncertain if he had a right to draw so close. He touched the baby’s head with his fingertips in a caress so gentle that Jessie’s breath snagged in her throat.
“As for her being hungry, last I heard, there was nothing better than a mama’s own milk for a little one,” he said, his gaze fixed on the baby.
“I wasn’t planning on nursing her,” Jessie protested. “It won’t work with the job I have. She’ll have to be with a sitter all day. I need bottles, formula.” She moaned. There were rare times—and this was one of them—when she wondered how she would cope. She’d counted on Erik to be there for her and the baby. Now every decision, every bit of the responsibility, was on her shoulders.
“Well, given that she decided not to wait for you to get to a hospital or to arrange for a fancy set of bottles,” Luke said, still sounding infinitely patient with her, “I’d say Angela is just going to have to settle for what’s on hand for the time being. Don’t you suppose you can switch her to a bottle easily enough?”
“How should I know?” she snapped unreasonably.
Luke’s gaze caught hers. “You okay?”
“Just peachy.”
His expression softened. “Aw, Jessie, don’t start panicking now. The worst is over.”
“But I don’t know what to do,” she countered, unexpectedly battling tears. “I have three more classes to take just to learn how to breathe right for the delivery, and a whole stack of baby books to read, and I was going to fix up a nursery.” She sobbed, “I... I even...bought the wallpaper.”
Her sobs seemed to alarm him, but Luke stayed right where he was. Her presence here might be a burden, her tears a nuisance, but he didn’t bolt, as many men might have. Once more that unflappable response calmed Jessie.
“Seems to me you can forget the classes,” he observed dryly, teasing a smile from her. “As for the wallpaper, you’ll get to it when you can. I doubt Angela will have much to say about the decor, as long as her bed’s warm and dry. And babies were being born and fed long before anybody thought to write parenting books. If you’re not up to nursing her yet, it seems to me I heard babies can have a little sugar water.”
“How would you know a thing like that?”
“I was trapped once in a doctor’s office with only some magazines on parenting to read.”
His gaze landed on her breasts, then shifted away immediately. Jessie felt her breasts swell where his gaze had touched. Her nipples hardened. The effect could have been achieved because of the natural changes in her body over the past twenty-four hours, but she didn’t think that was it. Luke had always had that effect on her. A single look had been capable of making her weak in the knees. She had despised that responsiveness in herself. She was no prouder of it now.
“I have a hunch that left to your own devices, the two of you can figure it out,” he said. “I’ll leave you alone. I’ve got chores to do, anyway.”
He headed for the door as if he couldn’t get away from the two of them fast enough. Jessie glanced up at him then and saw that, while his cheeks were an embarrassed red, there was an expression in his eyes that was harder to read. Wistfulness, maybe? Sorrow? Regret?
“You’ll holler if you need me?” he said as he edged through the doorway. Despite the offer of help, he sounded as if he hoped he’d never have to make good on it.
“You’d better believe it,” she said.
A slow, unexpected grin spread across his face. “And I guess we both know what a powerful set of lungs you’ve got. I’m surprised the folks on every other ranch in the county haven’t shown up by now to see what all the fuss was about.”
“A gentleman wouldn’t mention that,” she teased.
“Probably not,” he agreed. Then, in the space of a heartbeat, his expression turned dark and forbidding. “It would be a mistake to think that I’m a gentleman, Jessie. A big mistake.”
The warning startled her, coming as it did on the heels of hours of gentle kindness. She couldn’t guess why Luke was suddenly so determined to put them back on the old, uneasy footing, especially since they were likely to be stranded together for some time if the snow kept up through the day as it seemed set on doing.
Maybe it was for the best, though. She didn’t want to forget what had happened to Erik. And she certainly didn’t want to be disloyal to her husband by starting to trust the man who rightly or wrongly held himself responsible for Erik’s death. That would be the worst form of betrayal, worse in some ways perhaps than the secret, unbidden responses of her body. Luke had delivered her baby. She might be grateful for that, but it didn’t put the past to rest.
“Well, Angela, I guess we’re just going to have to make the best of this,” she murmured.
Even as she spoke, she wasn’t entirely certain whether she was referring to her first fumbling attempt at