Dearly Departing

airport. He had to squint as it plunged into the setting sun. Ray smiled and recalled another plane heading into the setting sun from his childhood. He thought it was fitting.
A good sign. I’m doing the right thing.
He walked further out into the ocean. Ray loved the water. He loved to swim. The farther he went out, the better. The stumblers on the beach became little back dots. Ray could no longer feel the sand beneath his toes. He rowed with his arms and kicked with his legs out into the sea.
The jet’s distant rumble was dying. Ray thought about Caroline and Dawn one last time. His ex-wife would be fine. The life insurance would take care of his daughter.
With his head the only part left above water, Ray inhaled deeply through his nose, filling his lungs with warm air. He closed his eyes and dove down.
Silence.
It’s what Ray loved the most about swimming. Once he was submerged, the world he knew became a different place.
Cool but never cold. Weightless and wonderful.
Ray imagined this was what life was like in the beginning, wrapped in fluid and quiet darkness. The stress out there didn’t exist. He was safe here, away from it all. Ray could let go.
Breathe out. Release the air left in your lungs and inhale again as fast as you can. It won’t hurt. Everything will be over in a few seconds.
Ray’s chest was starting to ache. His mind was pleading with his body to let go.
Breathe out... Breathe out and breathe in... I can do this... Please let me do this.
Something warm wrapped around his bicep and yanked him up.
Ray exhaled as his head broke the water’s surface. He sucked in air and the salt water stung as he opened his eyes.
“Jesus, Ray! Are you going to spend the whole night out in the water?”
Ray blinked and wiped the moisture away with his knuckles. “Dooley... what are you doing out here?”
“It’s our last night in paradise, buddy. The guys want to shower early and hit the bar before all the good seats get taken.”
Dooley—Delbert Doole, Ray’s assistant at work and part-time ambulance driver—was already pulling his friend closer to shore. Ray could feel the sand beneath his toes again. “I—I was just taking one last swim, you know? We can’t do this every day back home.”
“I hear that, but you’ve been living in the ocean ever since we got here.”
“You know I love the water.”
“I hear that, too. Now quit being a Moby Dick-head and come get plastered with your pals.”
They staggered up onto the beach, their baggy swim trunks stuck to their legs, feeling like a ton of dripping bricks. Ray grabbed his towel from the lounger and started to dry himself off. Even though he had just tried to end his life, Ray grinned at Dooley as the man grabbed at his falling swim wear. There wasn’t much room to pull them up any further. Delbert was like a koala bear standing on its hind legs. His immense beer gut drew a line that any waistband—blue jeans, work pants, or swim suits—couldn’t possibly breach.
Dooley glared at him. “What’s so funny, you never seen ass-crack before?”
“I’m just a little surprised you swam out that far to get me.”
“Look at me—I’m built like a fricking beach ball. It’s easy for fat guys to bob out in the water.” He held a hand out and Ray tossed him the towel. Dooley rubbed it across the wide expanse of his hairy belly and chest. “Gotta admit, though, I was getting a little worried out there. I know you like the water and all, but it almost looked like you planned on swimming back home.” He attacked the wet mop of hair on top of his head next. When he was finished, Dooley looked like a cross between Albert Einstein and the bride of Frankenstein. “Next time we want to do one of these little getaways, you have to promise me you’ll spend more time with the guys.”
Ray was no longer grinning at his friend. He was looking back out over the ocean. Something small and black was floating out there. Something he had seen many times before.
“Hey, Ray... You hear what I’m saying?”
“I hear you.”
Dooley followed his gaze towards the incoming waves. “No more swimming. That part of the vacation is officially over.”
The black thing was swallowed up in white foam. It didn’t reappear. “No more swimming.” Ray slapped his friend on the back and started up towards the hotel. “Let’s go get pissed.”
They shared a room on the fourth floor of the resort’s main building. Ray had trouble getting to sleep most nights due to his friend’s snoring, but it was preferable to staying with their other two friends in the adjoining room. Charlie Fitz and Calvin Riese were more into the medical end of things back at work. Charlie was a doctor, and Calvin was in administration. Ray liked them both, but there was something inside him that still resisted getting too close. Caroline had been in administration too, and the asshole that took her away had been a doctor. Charlie and Calvin were okay guys; Ray just felt better sticking with his own kind. Dooley was crude and loud, the exact opposite to Ray in almost every way, but they had more in common than the other two. They worked in the same department, and Dooley had lost a wife as well. She hadn’t left him for another man, however. Amanda Doole had died of breast cancer in 2007.
Ray stuck with Dooley, and that’s the way they both liked it. Besides, it was much more fun cracking jokes at the other two. Charlie Fitz Calvin was one of their favourites, followed closely by What’s Fitzy snacking on?—Riese’s Pieces. He wondered if Charlie and Calvin made fun