Night Is Darkest
him as he waited for additional recriminations.“Then I’m glad it was you, Ty.” Comforting fingers trailed down his spine. “I’m sure you made it good for her. You can be so gentle. And you love her.”
“I hurt her.” Misery spread from his aching heart.
“The first time is never comfortable…”
“No, uh…not that. I mean, she bled some but she definitely liked it.” God, when had he become such a blubbering fool? He wasn’t sixteen anymore.
“You told her about us?”
Tyler tried to ignore the hint of unease in Mason’s voice. Unlike him, Mason had never been with another man. He’d never accepted his bisexuality, swore only Tyler attracted him, and insisted they keep their relationship secret. Ty’d given up arguing about it years ago. Mason would never change his mind.
“No. That’s up to you. But I couldn’t mislead her either. I told her I was involved with someone else, then I walked out on her.” The memory of betrayal drowning her eyes cut him all over again. “Hit me if it helps. I kind of wish you would.”
“Ah, shit, Ty.” Mason damn near suffocated him in a bear hug. “That sucks.”
“Mason, I didn’t even use a condom. I didn’t want anything between us. I’ve never done that with a woman before.” He didn’t mention the times he and Mason fooled around.
“Well, we know she’s on the pill. Remember when Rob got all bent out of shape, freaking out over how bad her cramps were until she got on it?” They shared a crooked smile over the memory of their friend’s deliberation on the best way to tackle the awkward conversation with his sister.
He seemed like he was about to continue but didn’t. “Spit it out, Mason. What?”
“I didn’t think you’d come back. I’m a selfish bastard but I thought I’d lost you. Why did you give her up instead of me?”
Tyler squirmed under the uncomfortable pressure of their heart-to-heart. It didn’t bother him to spill his guts, but he knew it could make Mason flee their emotional intimacy. Then again, it could have been Mason caught in the line of fire just as easily as Rob. He refused to regret withholding his emotions if the unthinkable happened. Again. “We’ve been through so much together. I can’t imagine my life without you.”
“You’re willing to sacrifice your friendship with Lacey? She means the world to you. To me, too. You know that.”
“Then why can’t we tell her, Mason? You heard her yesterday, she wants us both. Please…”
“No. I won’t make her the center of our freak show. She was a virgin for Christ’s sake! How would she cope with all the things I want to do to her? I’m no gentle lover. And no matter how I wish it were otherwise, I can’t deny what I need. She can’t handle me.”
One part of Tyler agreed. Lacey wasn’t ready for the rough passion they both craved. But another fraction screamed they were making the biggest mistake of their lives. He’d claimed her yesterday. In the heat of her passion, some of his preconceptions had been seared away. More lay beneath the surface of Lacey’s calm exterior than she let on.
Confusion, grief, longing and resignation swirled in his mind. He replayed their exchange this morning and her words reverberated in his mind.
“I’ve been hearing the details of your sordid threesomes for years.”
What would she think if she found out those were the least of their indiscretions?
“You’re right, Mason. I know you are. I just wish…”
“I know, Ty. I wish, too.” He sighed then asked, “Tell me, what was it like?”
Chapter Four
Lacey paced a circuit that led from the living room through the dining room, which they’d converted to an office, to the kitchen then back again while daytime TV droned in the background. Three days of lockup had her poised on the verge of insanity. Compared to the hullabaloo of organizing Rob’s service and wake, the aftermath seemed eerily quiet when not occupied by endless tears.
Distant friends and acquaintances had obtained their closure then gone back to the grind but, for her, the reality of the void in her life had just begun to sink in. Every once in a while she heard something—a car driving by, people chatting as they walked their dog or the sound of the mailman on the front porch—that made her think Rob was about to bound up the stairs and through the door before she realized all over again that he’d never come home.
It wouldn’t be so damn obvious if she could pick up her regular schedule at the hospital but state laws mandated she remain out of action for a minimum of seven to ten days. The way her thoughts flitted from despair to vengeance and everything in between, she understood she would only be a hazard to patients in the ER—people who could still be saved.
To make matters worse, the hairs on the back of her neck wouldn’t let her forget that either Tyler, Mason, or both, sat across the street in an unmarked car staring at the house. She’d tried to walk over and shoot the breeze with them a few times but they always drove off when they saw her coming. Chickenshit Ty hadn’t even had the decency to check up on her after he’d run out on their morning after.
Their constant quasi-presence rubbed her face in all she’d lost by indulging her fantasy during a moment of weakness. Loneliness piled onto the grief threatening to paralyze her. What were they watching for if they wanted to avoid her so badly? The constant vigilance made her nervous.
The phone rang, startling her from her morose thoughts. The damn thing had been buzzing non-stop. She figured she might as well make some lucky reporter’s day and answer their call. Rob had been regarded as an up-and-comer, a potential candidate who might even make it to chief one day. She’d responded to a few of the inquiries interspersed between the condolences and sympathies but, for the most