Until Forever Ends: A Dark Mafia Romance

no doubt raging in my room, I knew bed was a long way off. Sleep beckoned to me, and the part of me that was nothing but a man who craved his woman wanted to curl up with her in my arms and forgive her for the choice she'd made.
The other part of me wanted to make her hurt, wanted to break her and make her into the woman I knew she could become if given the chance, but she'd have to let me do that.
No matter what I said, no matter what I did to Isa, I would never push her past her limits. I'd never take what wasn't mine to take, and if she'd been able to tell me in all honesty that she didn't want me?
I wouldn't have taken her. I wouldn't have forced the issue, but I knew without a doubt that Isa still wanted me. Her panic after sex hadn't been for the fact that we'd fucked in the first place.
But purely for the potential of a pregnancy.
That alone told me everything I needed to know about her mental state. She'd fight me. She'd rail against me, but in the end, she'd understand that she was exactly who she was always meant to be.
Mine.
"She didn't seem too opposed to me," I said, tossing back my drink with barely a glance in his direction. His brothers followed him into the kitchen, Alejandro trailing at his heels as they waited for instructions. "She needs time to adjust. The three of you need to stay away from the house for a few days until she's ready to know the truth."
"Don't you think it's better to just rip off the bandage now? Get it all out in the open so she can come to terms with it all at once?" Alejandro asked, stepping toward the kitchen. I met him at the island, grabbing one of Regina's knives in my hand and twirling it thoughtfully.
"I think she's stronger than you can imagine, and she's holding up under the pressure of everything I've thrown at her so far, but there's only so much she can take. Knowing that one of her best friends betrayed her and the entire friendship was a ruse will push her over that edge," I explained. "She needs to be more stable in her understanding of what she and I are before we throw that at her."
"He's right," Hugo agreed. "She can take a lot from strangers. She always expects people to disappoint her, so when they do, it's just another day for her. No matter what he wants to think, Rafael is a virtual stranger to her. She's spent a week with him, and that's a drop in the bucket for Isa. To know that she never knew him, she can recover from that, but our betrayal will trip her up more," he said as he looked at Gabriel and Joaquin. "She trusted us in a way she's never had the opportunity to trust him." My fists clenched at my sides, the truth to his words unsettling the part of me that wanted blood.
Nobody should have been capable of hurting Isa more than me. I should have been her entire world.
Joaquin nodded his agreement, ushering his brothers out of the house as he gave me a meaningful stare. "Don't fucking hurt her," he warned. "She deserves better than that, and what you expected of her was never a fair demand. She was always going to disappoint you."
Alejandro nodded his agreement as Joaquin disappeared out the side door after his brothers, leaving us in silence. "Maybe that's true," I agreed, pursing my lips thoughtfully as I stretched out a hand to grasp Alejandro's wrist in my grip. He swallowed, but didn't fight the contact as I touched the tip of the knife to the edge of his palm and sank it in a line to carve through his flesh. "But your failure to handle Pavel certainly didn't improve our chances."
He swallowed, his eyes blinking rapidly as he tried to force the pain down. I cut into his left hand with deep crisscrossing slices that left his hand a bloody, tattered mess. "I know." He held my stare the entire time, knowing that while the penance might have taken a different form, this was the punishment he'd earned no less.
"If it weren't for you, Isa wouldn't be in my bed with bloody knees and torn palms. She'd be exploring Atlantis with me, still in Ibiza. Still falling in love with me and completely unaware of the truth. Because of your failure, she bled," I growled, dropping the knife to the counter when I'd finished with his hand. I left his right unscathed as a kindness, knowing that it would make it easier for him to function as my second if he had at least one working hand.
"I admit that my handling of Pavel caused problems, and I accept my penance willingly," Alejandro said, his voice dropping low as he ended the statement. He always trailed off as he considered the best way to phrase messages he knew I wouldn't want to hear, but he was my second because he always said it despite his fear.
He was honest, regardless of the consequences for himself.
"I think you need to consider the possibility that Isa was never going to choose to stay in Ibiza. Her life in Chicago holds some sway over her that she can't seem to let go of, no matter how she feels for you. If that's the case, she might not ever be yours in the way you want. What will you do if that's true?"
"I don't know," I admitted, taking his gun from the holster at the side of his pants. Touching my finger to the trigger, I aimed it at his knee as he flinched but didn't try to move away from my aim. "But for now, if she bleeds, so do you."
He groaned when I fired the gun and caught him in the thigh