Never Say Never

confidence is a bit intimidating.”
“Can I tell you something? I’m nervous too.”
“You are not.”
“I am! Because this is also my first date in ages, and it’s with a pretty woman who finds me intimidating.”
“I didn’t say being nervous was a bad thing!” Emily was surprised at how much she was enjoying herself. “Is this really your first date in a while?”
“Yeah.” Megan stared off into the distance. “I, uh, got out of a relationship not so long ago, and I’m only now getting back into dating. I’m not really looking for anything serious right now—I thought I better say that sooner rather than later in case you are.”
“Not really.” Emily shrugged. “My last relationship was…well, kind of a mess.” Which was an understatement. “So casual is good. Probably what I need right now.”
“Then I’m glad we’re in the same place.”
Emily was too. She wasn’t ready for a relationship, but some casual fun might get her mind off Camila.
“So tell me more about yourself, Emily. You said you had an unpredictable job.”
“Kinda. I’m a nanny to a very cute five-year-old.”
“Oh, cool. Full time?”
“Yeah. His mom is pretty busy, and his dad is… absent. But it’s a great job. He’s a sweet kid.”
“I can tell by the way you talk about him,” Megan said. “So was being a nanny always the plan? Are you going to take on another kid when he goes to school?”
“I’m actually hoping to go back to school,” Emily replied, sipping her drink. “I want to get my master’s, maybe even a doctorate, and teach.”
“What field?”
“Astrophysics.”
Megan blinked.
“That’s the blank face I always get whenever I say that. It’s usually the end of the conversation.”
“Now I’m intimidated by you. That’s incredible.”
“It’s just what I’m good at.”
“Well, I will not be able to keep up with you if you talk about anything physics- related because I nearly failed it in high school.”
“What do you do?”
“I have two jobs at the moment. I’m a barista during the day, but I’m also a personal trainer. Oh, and I teach martial arts too.”
“Nice. I have a black belt in karate.”
“Maybe we could spar some time.”
“I’d like that.”
Megan was easy to talk to, and Emily quickly found herself relaxing.
“You said before you have a sister. Are you close?”
“Yeah. There’s only a year’s difference between us, so growing up she was my best friend. I feel like you probably know what that’s like.”
“Cassie is actually my foster sister,” Emily explained. “I went to live with her family when I was thirteen, and she was not happy to have me there at first.” Cassie had been a moody teenager who was furious at having to share a room. “I grew on her after a while, though, and we became inseparable.”
“You lost your parents?”
“Yeah, in a car crash.”
“I’m sorry.” Megan’s hand closed around the back of hers and squeezed gently. “I lost my mom when I was fifteen. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I’d lost my dad, too.”
“It was hard, but I’m lucky I ended up with the Joneses. Does your sister live nearby?”
“Nah, she’s actually serving overseas,” Megan answered, fiddling with her straw. “She followed in Dad’s footsteps and joined the military—she was deployed a few months ago.”
“That must be difficult.” It had been hard enough for Emily when she and Cassie were at different colleges—she couldn’t imagine being separated by continents, especially if Cassie was in the military.
“Yeah, but she calls as often as she can. I’m looking forward to having her back, though.”
“I’ll bet.”
They talked awhile longer before calling it a night. They both had to get up early in the morning.
“Let me walk you home?” Megan asked, pulling open the door to the bar.
“Only if it’s not out of the way.”
“Nah, I only live a few blocks away from you.” Megan fell into step beside her, their shoulders brushing as they walked. “I wish it wasn’t cloudy,” Megan said, peering up at the sky. “I was planning on asking you to show me the stars.”
“Maybe next time.”
“Presumptuous.”
“O…oh, sorry, I just—”
“Relax.” Megan cut her off with a laugh, her eyes sparkling under the streetlights. “I’m kidding. I just like seeing you blush. I’d love to see you again.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I had fun tonight.” Megan leaned into Emily as they walked, her body warm against the night air. She was disappointed when they arrived at her apartment building; she wasn’t ready for the night to end. “I’ll text you so we can make plans.”
“Okay.” Before she could change her mind, Emily reached out and pulled Megan into a kiss. Her lips were soft and warm, and it was nice, but she resisted the temptation to invite her inside. “I’ll see you soon.”
“Bye, Emily.”
Emily waited until Megan was out of sight before ducking inside the building. She was still smiling when she stepped into her apartment, feeling lighter than she had in ages. Peeling off her jacket and dropping onto the couch, she reached for her phone, knowing Cassie and Maia would be waiting for an update.
* * *
Wednesday was another hectic day, and it was complicated by a scheduling conflict that kept her from walking through her front door until ten after eight.
It was the third night this week of not putting her son to bed. She didn’t see him enough during the day as it was, but she had made a promise to herself that she wouldn’t miss their nights, that she wouldn’t become a distant mother, leaving everything to the nanny.
She worried that Jaime would resent her, that their relationship would turn sour, like Camila’s relationship with her own mother. Was she a terrible parent? Was her focus on work going to ruin things with her son? Was she doing a good enough job?
She needed to do better. She needed to be home to feed him every night, not just to put him to sleep, but her job made late nights unavoidable, and as terrible as it might seem to others, she didn’t think she could ever give up her work.
“Hey.”