The Gaps

they think it’s an easy A, which shows they don’t know Ms Nouri very well.
‘Not the stepdad, he’s ancient. I mean Yin’s real father, the Chinese guy. Apparently he runs an importing business and spends a lot of time overseas. He could easily be involved in organised crime.’
‘I saw something on YouTube about the Triads once.’
‘Also, the custody battle for Yin when they divorced was nasty, so she could already be back in China being forced to marry some old man, and she’ll never be heard of again. They don’t have proper laws or protection over there.’
Over in the boarder section of the room, Jody says to Brooke, ‘My mum says there are way too many Asians at Balmoral these days. It wasn’t like that when she went here. My parents are thinking of sending me somewhere else. If they wanted me to be around this many Asians, we’d move to Bangkok or something.’
I lean around the edge of my easel to shoot a filthy look in Sarah’s direction for starting up the conversation. The Blondes have set up their easels in a semi-circle, right next to the radiator, with Natalia at the centre. Sarah has her phone angled above her head, ready for a pouting selfie.
The international students—from Hong Kong, Mainland China, Malaysia, Taiwan—have a habit of keeping to themselves in another corner, but there’s no way they can’t hear what’s going on. I can’t believe they have to live in the boarding house with people like Jody. My heart speeds up.
Sarah clocks me staring at her and pauses, her mouth an ugly slash. ‘What? Have you got something to say to me?’
Ally and Marley lean out further for a better look, smelling delicious conflict.
‘You were being a bit racist, don’t you think?’ I want my voice to sound strong, but instead it wobbles.
‘How is what I said racist?’ Sarah’s genuinely confused.
‘Well…automatically assuming that Yin’s dad is a gangster, like a walking stereotype from a John Woo movie and—and the forced marriage to an old man thing. And they do have laws in China, they’re just different from the laws here.’
I struggle to order my thoughts. There’s plenty to be said about the rule of law in China and human rights, but that’s way too nuanced for this conversation.
‘I don’t even know who John Woo is.’ Sarah hits back straight away. ‘And anyway, stereotypes are there for a reason. They’ve have to be a bit true or how do they even start?’
‘We don’t mean you, Chloe,’ says Ally in her baby-soft voice. I’m surprised she knows my name. ‘You’re not a real Asian, you know what I mean? You’re from here.’
Her eyes shoot over to the international students, as if I won’t get it. In her eyes I’m slightly more acceptable because I was born here and I don’t have an accent.
‘I don’t think that’s relevant.’ I’m already regretting having broken my rule to always fly under the radar. Natalia’s eyes settle on me. ‘It’s offensive to anyone. But you are actually half talking about me, okay?’
It’s more than that. It’s more than half of me. Because I take after Mum so strongly, the world sees me as Asian, therefore I am. It’s not like that for Sam, who looks more like Dad.
‘Lighten up, girl. Really.’ Sarah returns to her pose, but Natalia stands up and snatches Sarah’s phone right out of her hand. She has her predator face on again.
‘Sarah, did you know I’ve got a special name for your selfies?’ She pauses. Every head in the room turns to her. ‘I call them Insert-Dick-Here photos. Maybe you should change your handle to that.’
There’s stunned silence. Sarah looks cut to the ground.
‘What? You’ve always got your mouth wide open, what am I supposed to think? Lighten up, girl. Really.’
Natalia sits down and smiles at me, secretly, conspiratorially. I look away. I don’t need her to defend me.
‘Way too harsh, Tal.’ Ally sounds thrilled and impressed.
‘It’s got nothing to do with Yin’s dad, anyway, it’s the same guy who took that German girl.’ Brooke would never normally join in a conversation with the Blondes, but people have been talking all day, to anyone. She’s on tiptoes, trying to see the two teachers in the corridor. ‘Did you see those two men outside reception? I bet they’re plain clothes detectives. Ooop!’
Brooke makes it to her stool as Ms Nouri slips back into the classroom.
Natalia raises her hand. ‘Ms Nouri, why did the life model get cancelled? Sarah was looking forward to seeing a naked dude.’
Sarah’s expression doesn’t even change. She’s still shell-shocked from the first takedown. Natalia looks at me again, and this time I stare back, trying to figure her out. I don’t need your help, I try to say with my eyes. But maybe that’s not it, maybe she’s randomly lashing out at her own friends for no good reason. There’s no sign of the desperation I glimpsed on her face in the quad yesterday.
‘We thought it best to reschedule.’
‘Is it because he’s a suspect?’
Ms Nouri sits on the edge of her cluttered desk. The art rooms are the only places at school that aren’t unnaturally neat. She’s wearing a black dress and tights that look like smashed-up stained-glass windows.
‘Let’s discuss the art prize,’ she says. ‘The deadline is the week before your major project is due. So you should all consider finishing your project early and entering the prize. This year I want to make a proper exhibition out of it—Mrs Christie has already agreed to let us use the main hallway. Most of you have been working hard, and I think it would be great for other students to see what you’ve done. We’re going to award a separate prize for the student vote.’
Ms Nouri seems to stare hard at me in particular as she says this. I let my head drop, and my hair closes around my face. How could anyone not know about the art prize, given the entire school is plastered with posters