Blood Loss

over my shoulder to twiddle with the bright blue and green feathers entwined in my dark hair.
‘Were the brochures helpful?’ she asks.
‘Brilliant. They’ve inspired me.’ I beam at her. ‘I don’t think I’ve saved anywhere near enough money yet, though, and now I’ve looked at all these fantastic places, I want to go for more than a year.’
I could research all this stuff online but it’s much more exciting to share my dreams with my enthusiastic old school friend. When I mention travelling to my family they roll their eyes as if to say, ‘Here she goes again. Can’t she talk about anything else?’
‘I found out some stuff on animal sanctuaries.’ Nisha bends down behind her desk and pulls out a pile of bright leaflets. ‘I printed them off for you.’
‘Wow, thanks!’ I sit down and pull them towards me.
‘How’s that crazy horse of yours?’ she asks after a while.
‘He’s great, although he seems to have developed a fear of carrier bags. There was one in the hedge the other day and he nearly spooked sideways into the road. Lucy said he was a danger to the public and I should have him put down.’ I’d been horrified when my sister said that after I regaled her and Mum with the carrier bag story.
‘She just likes winding you up. It’s what sisters do.’
‘I suppose.’
Lucy’s never been a fan of Merlin anyway. She thinks I should be building a future for myself instead of throwing my wages away on a horse, especially as I’m not exactly rolling in money. I’m going to miss Merlin horribly when I go travelling. Luckily his expenses will be covered when I’m away as I’m loaning him to a friend who I know will take excellent care of him. If I ever get enough money together for travelling, that is. I need more income. I look around at the brochures again. ‘Any vacancies here?’ I’d far rather work in a travel agency than do more child-minding and bar work.
‘Sorry. You’d need at least a Level 2 in Travel and Tourism.’ Nisha gives me a twisted smile. She knows I struggled to apply myself at school and left Equestrian College after two terms. ‘Besides, now there’s so much travel information online, our customer base is shrinking to the few who don’t have the internet or can’t fathom it out.’
I sigh then return my attention to the leaflet. ‘They say you’re a volunteer on these trips but really you’re just another paying tourist.’ I turn it over. ‘Start at six-thirty and finish at five? Maybe it’s not a holiday.’ I hate getting up early. I’m more of an evening person.
My phone rings and I glance at the screen. Lucy. Oh God. What does she want now? She’s bound to be moaning about something.
‘Hi.’ I try to inject some enthusiasm into my voice.
‘Did you go to the card shop and get the invitations?’
‘Yeah, I’m good, thanks.’ I roll my eyes at Nisha and she grins. She knows Lucy won’t have asked how I am. ‘Not yet, but I will.’
‘Huh. Where are you anyway? Not in the bloody travel agents again?’ Lucy’s voice is like a knife squealing across a plate. ‘You are, aren’t you? For Christ’s sake, Jenna. You’re supposed to be helping me. I can’t organise this whole party on my own.’
‘It was your idea.’ A bad one, in my opinion. I don’t begrudge the fact that it’s eating into my savings because Lucy insists we should each pay half of the costs. I’m just not sure Mum will actually enjoy a surprise sixtieth birthday party. I suspect she’ll hate it. I don’t say so out loud but Lucy picks up on my feelings anyway.
‘Mum will love it,’ she insists. ‘We all need some positivity in our lives.’ She doesn’t say ‘after losing Dad’, but I hear it anyway.
‘Did you organise the marquee?’ she asks then.
Damn. I’d forgotten about that. ‘Er…’ I picture Lucy bristling at the other end of the phone.
‘You haven’t done it! Oh, my God, I can’t trust you to do anything.’
I hold the phone towards Nisha’s ear and pick up the leaflets again. She stifles a giggle. I half-listen to the tinny voice as I read about washing elephants then pull it back to my ear as I hear Lucy getting more irate.
‘Jenna? Are you still there? Stop being a brat. Damn, I’ve got another call. I’ll ring you back in a minute.’
I switch the phone to silent then lay it face down on the table. ‘Have you read about this Gibbon Sanctuary in Phuket?’ I say to Nisha, who leans forward to look at a leaflet with me. ‘It’s terrible what some people do to the adult gibbons to get their babies. All for the sake of holiday photographs.’
I feel my anger rising at the thought of innocent creatures being slaughtered to make money from tourists. I can’t wait to travel, to find a good cause where I can make a difference to the lives of helpless children or animals – to finally do something worthwhile. I spend another happy half-hour chatting with Nisha then pick up my phone. Five missed calls from Lucy. Blimey, she’s not usually that persistent. And two from Grace, who cleans for Mum and prepares her lunch, who’s become more of a family friend in the short time she’s been with us. Or should I say referee? She’s always trying to keep the peace between Lucy and me. Lucy’s probably asked her to intervene.
‘Better go,’ I tell Nisha. ‘Thanks for the brochures.’
I gather up my stuff and head for the door. I step out into the bright June sunshine and call Grace.
‘What’s she saying about me now?’ I ask, laughing.
‘Jenna, you need to come home.’ Grace sounds panicky. ‘Your mother collapsed. I put her to bed but I’ve got to go and I can’t leave her. Lucy won’t get here for another hour.’

Chapter 4


The Previous February | Sarah
I’m convinced the engine’s misfiring and losing power. Come on,