In Her Dreams

at Tess’s house.
And then I went into mating thrall that night the fae all danced for us.
Sandra did too, I believe.
But I guess I’ve had a crush on Reve from the moment we met. He’s my physical ideal, whether in fae form or human form. He takes me to worlds I’ve only imagined, makes literal fantasies come true.
But I still don’t know if that will be enough for us.
I never planned to let us get serious. No matter what, I’m not a child anymore to let myself go with girlish fantasies.
I’m a grown woman with a son who needs guidance into becoming a man in this difficult world.
Reve barely even understands this world.
Besides, Reve says he doesn’t own my yesterdays, but I can’t help thinking one day he might resent me for always putting my son before him.
I take a sip of the orange juice, but it tastes bitter in my current mood. Then I feel big, warm, strong arms wrap around me, and I sigh.
How could I ever let Reve go either?
“So what do you think about him being friends with Jerrek?” Reve asks.
I sigh. “Well, Jerrek already mentioned in a weird fae message that he was doing some light surveillance, and honestly, since I trust you guys and it probably helps keep Joey safe too, I don’t mind it.” I take another sip of juice. “I’m just worried about how this is all going to end.”
Reve cocks his head. “What do you mean how it’s going to end?” He gives me a confident grin. “Obviously, it’s going to end by me being your soul bond. Because you’re my dream mate.”
“So what does that make Joey?”
Reve looks at me like I’m being simple. “Another soul bond. Obviously.”
I swallow, jaw tight. I want to believe in this. That it’s going to work out. That it’s not too good to be true.
But other men acted like this before. Good at first. Bad later.
I tried to date a bit after first leaving Mark because, honestly, I didn’t feel that safe on my own, and I couldn’t get a restraining order.
But I just ran into men who were charming until they could get in my pants and pretended Joey was as good as theirs until they realized I really would put him first. Then they always turned sour.
Sometimes I just hate being born a woman. Short. Curvy. Nothing about me feels strong or powerful, though I know not everyone could have stayed this strong through the hard times and raised Joey this way.
But being a single mom is a job that comes with few accolades. And a lot of censure whenever I screw up.
Why do they call us single moms and look down on us when we are the ones who STAY?
The fathers who just leave should be called “abandoner dads” if we are to be called single moms.
I swallow, then look over at Reve. “Joey really will always be my priority,” I say.
Reve nods. “As he should be while he’s still young.”
“Forever,” I say.
Reve cocks his head. “Don’t you think that’s a little overprotective? One day, he will go off to find his own dream mate and make her his top priority. I’m not telling you how to feel about your son, but—”
“No, you’re right,” I say, running a hand through my hair. “God, he’s growing up fast.”
Reve smiles. “He’s growing up well. He has a great mom. I think the only example she still needs to set for him is showing him that her life and needs are valuable also. That she can come first sometimes too.”
I blink back tears at that phrase.
For so many years, I haven’t thought about myself. While working long hours to pay our way, trying to be there for friends, and trying to be a dad and a mom, there wasn’t time for anything but a bit of extra reading.
Maybe a chick flick here or there.
But deep down, there is a hole in my heart where my girlhood went. I didn’t have normal courtship. Engagement. Fairy-tale wedding.
And I’m not one to sit and cry about it usually.
I love Joey, so I love my life.
But aside from Joey, I think I might actually hate my life. I hope Joey never sees it.
“You take such good care of everyone,” Reve says gently, massaging my shoulder. “But we gotta start taking better care of you. You matter too, sweetheart. You matter most to me.”
I let out my breath. It feels like too much to finally have someone to rely on, but I’m also happy about it.
“All right,” I say. Then I turn on my stool and look up into his astonishing teal eyes. “But no more randomly appearing and disappearing on me. And how are we going to explain all of this to Joey?”
Reve bites his lower lip, looking to the side. “I’m not sure exactly what he thinks. I think the fact that he already believes in superheroes and magic is working to our advantage.”
“True,” I say. “What did he tell you back there in the hallway?”
Reve grins. “He just said I did a good job and I could date you as long as I whipped anyone who tried to hurt you.”
I wrinkle my nose at him. “You think that’s enough?”
“No,” Reve says, laughing. “I want to protect you from everything, at all times, but I also want to win your heart. I want to make you happy. I want you to never worry, but I know that’s not possible, so I want to be there when you do. I want to make all your dreams come true.”
I put a hand on his arm, and the touch burns. “You really know how to catch me off guard.”
He wiggles his eyebrows. “Right? After all those dream sequences together, I think I’ve learned at least a bit about you.” He puts a hand on the counter on either side of me, trapping me on the stool facing him.
God, he’s so tall. So gorgeous.
Heat rises in me as I look up