What If You

knew I didn’t have a choice.
“Here you go.” He smiled as he handed me my drink. “What brings you back to New York?”
I hesitated, but it was now or never. The nervousness inside me intensified as my heart rapidly beat out of my chest. Maybe I wouldn’t have to tell him. Maybe he’d tell me he loved me, and I could put what I knew behind me and never speak of it. There was only one way to find out.
“I came back because I love you, Asher. I’m in love with you and I needed to tell you.”
He stood there in shock as he stared into my eyes and inhaled a sharp breath.
“Everly, I don’t know what to say except I wish you never would have told me.”
“Why?”
“Because you just shouldn’t have. The last thing I want to do is hurt you and now you’ve put me in that position.”
“So you’re saying you don’t love me?” I could feel the tears spring to my eyes.
“No. I don’t. I’m sorry. I wish I could tell you otherwise, but I can’t.” He turned away from me.
“So after everything we’ve been through, you can stand there and say you feel nothing for me at all?”
“Yes.” He lowered his head as I watched him clench his fist.
“It’s all because of Brianna, right?”
He spun around and the angry look on his face startled me.
“You know nothing about her, and if you do, you stop!” he shouted.
A single tear fell down my cheek.
“No. I won’t stop. I know how much you loved her and how betrayed you felt by her, Asher. But you can’t let that one moment define the man you are today.”
He stood there as he shook his finger at me.
“The fuck I can’t. You have no idea. That girl was my life. Ever since the first day I laid eyes on her when I was fifteen years old. I would have given my life for her. She couldn’t stand the thought of me going off to Harvard without her. So I decided to forget about it and stay in New York and go to NYU with her. We were going to be married and live in an apartment on campus together. We were happy. Happier than two people could ever be. Then one night, the summer before college, she said she needed to talk to me. We went to Central Park and she told me she didn’t love me anymore and she handed me back the ring I had given her. She said we were too young, and she couldn’t see a future with me. She then proceeded to tell me that she didn’t think she ever really loved me. I begged her to stop, because I knew it wasn’t true. I knew her and I knew what we meant to each other, but she wouldn’t. She just kept going on and on about how sorry she was and how we weren’t meant to be. Then she walked away and left me standing there with my heart shredded into a million tiny pieces. I made a vow that night never to let anything ever happen like that again,” he shouted.
“I know. I felt your pain the moment our hands first touched. I felt everything, Asher. But there’s something you need to know. You need to know the truth of what really happened that night.”
I looked over and saw his father standing over by the bar.
“Damn you!” I spoke.
“What? Damn me? Really?” Asher shouted.
“I wasn’t talking to you.”
“Tell him, Everly. Tell him what I did. Tell him the truth!”
“Your father was the one who was responsible for Brianna breaking up with you,” I finally spoke.
“What?” He let out a frightening laugh. “Who the hell do you think you are? But go ahead and humor me and tell me exactly how my father did that.”
“He took her to lunch one day and offered her a lot of money to break up with you and to never see or talk to you again. When she refused, he offered her an ultimatum. She either did what he asked, or he would financially ruin her father’s company, shut it down and make sure he lost everything.”
“How dare you,” he shouted. “My father would never do such a thing.”
“Your father would do anything he had to in order to protect you, Asher!” I shouted back. “He didn’t want you to ruin your future and he saw it was a possibility if you married her. Your lifelong dream had always been to attend Harvard and he saw you giving all that up for Brianna. He knew you weren’t thinking right at the time. You were young and in love. It happens. I get it.”
“You don’t get anything! I want you to leave now.” He forcefully grabbed hold of my arm.
The moment he did that, his father’s favorite book flew off the bookcase in the living room and onto the floor. Asher stopped, let go of my arm and bent down to pick up the book.
“Is he here?” he asked with anger.
“Yep. He sure is. I’m sorry, Asher. He wanted me to tell you. I knew how deeply it would hurt you, and I didn’t want to. But he said his business wasn’t finished here yet.”
“Get out, Everly. Just go.” His voice was calm as he held the book in his hand.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” I grabbed my purse, and the moment I pressed the button to the elevator, the doors opened, and I stepped inside.
The crushing feeling in my chest was unbearable as I gripped it. The struggle to breath was real and had me in its grip for what felt like forever. I went back to the apartment, told Diana and Daniel everything and grabbed the last flight out of New York.

30


One Week Later
Asher
Burying myself in my work had always been the way to cope when things weren’t going right in my life. This time, I stayed at home. Alone. Isolated from the outside