Earth Roars

Still, I can’t imagine we’ll be on Vashon for more than a couple of days. The island can’t be that big.
“Okay,” he says again. He looks distracted.
“What’s wrong?” I say.
He looks at me. “Nothing,” he says. “I’m almost late for practice.”
“Oh.” Quinn is devoted to his studies. I can’t blame him. When it’d just been me looking after him, he’d spent his days playing video games. Now he has passion and drive for something bigger. Quinn holds magic, a trait uncommon for humans, and the elves have helped him harness that power.
I hold out my arms and smile tentatively. “Can I get a hug?”
Quinn is younger than me by a couple of years, but already taller. He smiles at my words and steps over for an embrace.
“I’m going to miss you,” I choke, and a tear slips down my cheek.
“Love you, Stella.” He pulls away and blinks. Reaching out, he wipes the tear away. “Don’t be sad,” he says. “You’ll come back. You always do.”
He leaves for the training halls. I step out after him. Eldaren watches my brother go. “He’s a good boy,” he says. “He’s progressing in his training faster than any of the other humans.”
Pride surges through me at the words. “I’m glad he’s found something worthwhile here,” I say.
“Yes, he has,” Eldaren replies. “He will be very helpful in our mission to cleanse the Earth once he completes his training.”
“How close is he?” I ask.
“It’s difficult to say,” Eldaren answers, “but if I were to venture a guess, it’d be within the next six months. If he finds the next stage of training more difficult, then it’ll be closer to that number. If he does better than expected, less.”
I set out for my own room and halt in the doorway before Eldaren can follow me in. “I’m going to get dressed,” I say. “And use the bathroom, and all of that.”
“I can look away,” Eldaren protests, “even if you’re being ridiculous about it. I—”
I shut the door in his face. “No.”
Wisely, he doesn’t push his luck, and I heave a sigh of relief. Stars, his constant hovering is getting annoying.
Aleere has set out a tray of cheese and fruit. I like the cheese. The kind they serve here at the fortress tastes a little different from the flavors I’m used to, but it’s ridiculously good.
I take my time eating, mildly curious about how long I can loiter before Eldaren gets irritated. I push my chair back after I’ve finished. “Time for an adventure, I guess,” I say out loud.
And it is. I’m leaving Liberty. I’ve never left it before. I mean, technically, I have, but never more than a handful of miles outside of the city bounds, and even then, not for very long. If I hadn’t lived here back before my parents adopted me, I certainly can’t remember it.
But now, I am truly leaving, if only for a few days. It is both exciting and scary. My stomach flutters with nerves, and my skin prickles with anticipation.
I ready myself, dressing quickly.
There’s only one thing left to do.
I grab a quill pen and ink—in some regards the elves don’t seem that technologically advanced—and sit down to write.
I have to go away for a while. We’re close to finding the gaia. I believe she can help this planet get better. I just want you to know that I’m—
I hesitate. That I’m what? That I’m thinking of him? I am, but I don’t want Wilder to feel that I’m leading him on. Am I? I don’t know. This decision shouldn’t be so hard. Wilder or Eldaren? Why can’t I choose? How do I phrase my words?
I’m thinking of you. You know I am. I wish things weren’t so complicated. I don’t want to hurt you, but my heart is a tangle. I don’t know what to think.
Please don’t worry about my absence. I should be back soon.
— Your spark in the night
I grimace at that last bit, but I’ve already written it. Wilder used to call me his ‘spark in the night.’ He also used to call me ‘sweetheart’ and ‘dearest.’ I still remember the feel of his shoulder pressing into mine when we’d cuddle up on the sofa under a worn-out blanket, watching old movies together.
Stars, I miss the old times.
I let the ink dry, then fold the letter in half and slip it under my pillow. I don’t put Wilder’s name on it anywhere; I can’t risk that. But I know that if he sees it, he’ll know it’s for him. I didn’t have time to explain to him that I’d be leaving when I saw him last night. This letter will have to do.
I wish my heart and brain would align and just settle this already.
Logically, Eldaren is the more dependable man. He’s honest and filled with purpose. He’d never let me go cold or hungry. He’s rich. Powerful.
But Wilder has always held my fragile heart in the palm of his hand. Even when I’d screamed at him for getting into drugs. Even when he’d walked away.
It still wants him.
My heart beats for Wilder.
But underneath that, I feel the Kenelky, connecting me to Eldaren as if with golden threads.
“It’s not real,” I grumble as I step over to the wardrobe and pull out a sweater. I’m feeling cold this morning. “It’s an elf thing. It’s not my heart.”
Is that true, though?
My heart shouldn’t yearn for two men, and I feel like a jerk for not being able to decide. “Pull yourself together, Stella,” I mumble to myself. I button the sweater and smooth the front. “Mom would be disgusted with you.”
But Mom had loved me so much. I miss her with a strength that feels suffocating at times. I wish she were here to counsel me.
But she isn’t.
I am alone in this.
Eldaren opens the door and peers in. “Are you ready to go?”
“Would it kill you to knock?” I grumble. I walk over and out the door. He follows me down the hall.
“I fail to