Edwards Exploits

recovered quickly and jumped to his feet prepared to take a stance
When the little voice said “hi, my names Lance”.
Lance crawled out and held out his claw for Edward to shake
“I’m sorry to startle you, do you fancy a piece of cake”?
“Definitely, yes” said Edward returning the shake and following Lance down the hole
It was quite large inside with tables and chairs made of stone and coal.
They ate cake and sandwiches too, Lance told Edward about his plight
Of how he became lost in the jungle because of his poor eyesight
He was digging in a garden in Epping, when his bearings he lost
The directions mum had given him were wrong, they must have their wires crossed.
Edward felt sorry for Lance and wanted to help, but wasn’t sure what to do
Maybe he could ask owl to soar up high and get a full view
Of the surrounding areas and see if he could find
Lance’s mum somewhere nearby, or even some of his own kind.
Owl listened to their story and Lance became excited
Owl had promised him they would be reunited
She searched high and low and finally spotted her in a valley
She swooped down and said “are you Lance’s mum”? she said “yes, please call me Sally”
“I have been worried sick” she said “I want to give him a cuddle”
“he never was very good at reading maps, he always gets in a muddle”
They were delighted to see each other, mum said he would have to take map reading classes
Or if he didn’t think he could do that, she’d get him stronger glasses!
“We have to get going, I have left the rest of the family behind”
She thanked Edward and owl and said they were very kind
Owl said farewell and left them to say goodbye
Edward had a lump in his throat and thought he was going to cry.
“Goodbye Edward thanks for all your help, I’m, sorry about your toe”
“Goodbye Lance I’m glad you’re my friend and not my foe”
Edward would miss Lance more than he would admit
But he still had other friends, and he ran off to tell them all about it.

Edward’s Loft
 
Edward was busy clearing out his loft
It was so dusty up there he spluttered and coughed
There were cobwebs and spiders, dirt and a horrible smell
It made him feel sick and not at all well
He never came up here, now he knew why
It was all dusty and smelly, like a pigsty!
He had on his blue overalls, boots, gloves and a mask
Now he was all kitted out and ready for the task.
He was going to be ruthless and not keep a thing
Until he found a little toy soldier with a gun that went PING
He remembered that little soldier, it had given him great pleasure
He would give it to some other little rabbit for them to treasure.
All was going well he had made a good start
He had thrown out a burst ball and a robot that had fallen apart
Then he spotted his old castle complete with a moat
And just behind that, he saw his sailing boat!
Edward had forgotten all about these great toys
That both he and his brother played with, when they were boys
How he loved and missed those days, the toys had made him think
He was very hot and sweaty and headed downstairs for a drink.
He had only thrown two things away, and only because they were broke
He would have to try harder, he finished off his coke
He went upstairs again and put in the bag an incomplete game
He lifted something green, it was his school coat and inside was his name.
Edward Benjamin Joseph Brown it said on a very large tag
And right beside it was of course, his old school bag!
He looked inside there were his books, they looked a bit rotten
He wouldn’t look at his maths book, some things were best forgotten!
He was cracking on now and managed to clear a space
Just then he noticed some cars they used to race
He was always the blue car, his brother always the red
They would always end up crashing the cars, and getting sent to bed!
Those were the days Edward thought, it was getting late he decided he’d had enough
He had done a very good job and got rid of lots of stuff
Although he did keep a few things from which he couldn’t detach
Edward took all his priceless possessions and closed the loft hatch.


Edward Needs Glasses
Edward was walking through the forest talking to Frank the hare
When suddenly he fell down a big hole in the ground, which gave Frank a scare
He pulled Edward out and asked him if he was alright
Edward said he was fine, but hadn’t seen the hole because of the bright sunlight.
They walked further along the path, Edward turned his head to invite Frank to tea
“WATCH OUT”! Frank shouted as Edward banged his head on a tree
“OUCH”! yelled Edward and rubbed the red bump on his head
“Lets go inside and I’ll bathe it for you” Frank said.
Edward went upstairs to fetch the antiseptic and cotton wool
But when he looked at the label he felt such a fool
“I think my eyes need testing” Edward said
for he had not brought down the antiseptic but mouthwash instead!
Edward was a bit worried he had never had his eyes tested before
It was just as well Frank came with him as he almost walked into the door
The lady in reception was very nice and made Edward feel at ease
She told him to take a seat and that her name was Louise.
A lady appeared from a door marked ‘Private’ and was given Edward’s details
She looked very stern and he noticed she had black painted finger nails
CRIKEY! gasped Edward she looked like a witch, he tugged at Frank’s arm
“Come in with me please” as he held tight a gold button which he kept as a lucky charm.
He sat in a chair and stared at a chart on the wall
Which had big letters at the top,