Monachopsis

handsome face turned crimson. "I'll kill them both."
I grabbed his hand tight. It warmed my heart how he was sticking up for me already when we knew nothing about the other. "There's no need. It's over now."
"It goes against our nature. They're both a disgrace to the werewolf community."
"I know that. So does everyone else, but it doesn't matter anymore. I've made my peace with it." I shrugged, trying to remain indifferent.
"You're much more forgiving than me." He was wrong there, I really wasn't. Before him, all I felt was anger and a need to destroy them both, but now that Blaine was here, and that he was mine, it made everything else disappear.
He nestled into my chest and sighed. "So, I'm your second chance mate." He paused, as if he were in deep thought. I hoped the fact that he wasn't my first mate didn't hurt him. "But, you are my first and only mate."
"Yes." I ran my fingers through his soft, silky hair. "Though, I don't consider Nolan as my first mate. He rejected me as soon as he found out we were mates." I gripped his hair and forced his head back up to meet my gaze. "You're different."
He grinned. "Everything happens for a reason. I'm glad he fucked up 'cause now you're all mine."
I moved my fingers to his chin. "That makes me happy."
He moved away from my touch. His brows furrowed together. "Something else is bothering me. Why is there a scent of your Gamma on you?"
I froze. I had forgotten that the scents of wolves who had been intimate were identifiable for other wolves. He  smelled him on me.
I sighed and became vulnerable. I let him see a side of myself I hadn't shown in a long time. I moved my shaky hands to my lap and looked down.
"After my rejection, Xavier was there for me." I swallowed. Reliving this was hard enough, but trying to explain it to my mate was excruciating. "About six months later, I decided I didn't want to be a virgin. I felt hopeless, and I didn't think anyone was out there for me anymore. I made peace with being alone but I wanted to lose the one thing I had held onto for my mate." I paused and wiped a stray tear away from my cheek. "Nolan had tossed me aside so carelessly. You don't know what that does to a person. Being rejected by your mate feels like the end of the world. I wanted to feel something, to feel anything but the numbness it had given me."
I looked up and into his eyes. I pleaded with him. "I had no idea you were out there. I didn't know I would get a second chance."
His jaw ticked. He looked away from me. "What was your relationship with him?"
I winced. He was so calm about this. Too calm. It was the calm before the storm. I could feel it seeping into my bones. I knew he was barely controlling his anger. "He was my best friend. With benefits." I felt the inexplicable need to give him more. "That was it. He told me two nights ago that he developed feelings for me, that he was in love with me. But I couldn't continue with the arrangement because I couldn't reciprocate and I knew he had a mate out there."
He heard the break in my voice and turned to face me. His gathered me in his arms and enveloped me in warmth. Tears were streaking down my face. It scared me he would reject me too after everything I'd told him. "I understand. You couldn't have known."
I leaned against him. "I'm sorry, Blaine. If I had known, I would have never..."
"It's okay. What's done is done. I'm here now." He squeezed me to him. "It kills me to think of him touching you. I want nothing more than to go out there and make the world know you're mine, to make him know you're mine. But I understand, the feelings that could've erupted from it. All that matters is I'm here now."
The corners of my lips tilted upwards. "You're my soulmate."
"And an Alpha-Male. You should know we are possessive."
I laughed. "I'm an Alpha-Female. I'll show you possessive."
He kissed my forehead. "Why doesn't your sister have a mate? I mean, why is she with your ex-mate?"
I grimaced. "She had a mate. He was killed, so she used Nolan as a distraction. Now she acts as if he's her true mate. Jackson was a good man. He didn't deserve what happened to him."
"I'll never understand loving anyone other than your true mate, even if they left this world." He shook his head. "What happened to him?"
"He was killed three years ago. We don't really talk about what happened, but the short version is that Ivy had been friends with this boy since we were young. His name was Dylan. Something infatuated him with her and when he found out she had found her mate, he lost his mind." I winced and somehow my thoughts strayed to Xavier. "He killed Jackson the night they were planning to complete their soul-bond. Ivy found them, but Jackson was already dying. She was able to say goodbye to Jackson, and our dad sentenced Dylan to death."
His eyebrows raised. "Shit. That's bad. Something like that would destroy anyone."
"Yeah, I know. It destroyed her. She wasn't always so cold and distant. She used to be sweet and caring. After Jackson though, she grew bitter and angry. She started spending all her time with Nolan, but she never cared about him." I halted. Was that how I treated Xavier? Shaking my head to clear it, I continued. "Jackson was her only love, and Nolan was more of a convenience. Then, my rejection happened. She started saying how much she loved Nolan and she began to grow a hatred for me."
He sat up and wrapped his arms around me. "She went through a lot of hardships. I'm sure she's