Never Grow Up

creamed spinach.”
“Wonderful.” Ashley leaned back in her chair. “The worst food in the history of the world.” She raised her hands and let them fall on her lap. “Why would anyone want that?” Her siblings were all in place around the table. “Well? People? Tell me you agree here.”
Silence. Not one of her sisters… not even Luke agreed with her. They had all teamed up against her, and now she was on an island of not liking the dinner choice all by herself.
“Here we are!” Mom walked in with a casserole dish and set it on the table. She had a proud look on her face. “The perfect dinner.”
Ashley stared at the goopy mess. Apparently her mother hadn’t heard her comments. “May I have a pass please?”
Mom settled into her seat and gave Ashley a funny look. “A pass?”
“Yes. A pass.” In the corner of her eye, Ashley saw her dad take a deep breath. Think fast, she told herself. “A bathroom pass… A hall pass… You know… a way out. That sort of thing.” She looked once more around the table for support. Again there was none. Her eyes found Mom. “So… yes. A pass. Please.”
Dad set his napkin down a little harder than usual. “There is no way out, Ashley. No pass tonight. And please be kind. Mom worked very hard on this dinner.”
No one understood her. “I’m trying to be kind.” Ashley’s thoughts buzzed around in her brain like flies at a summer picnic. “I’m just hopeful that maybe I can sit this one out.” That was something Brooke sometimes said when they played a family kickball game. I’ll sit this one out, she would say. And she would get a pass to the sidelines.
But there was none of that for Ashley tonight.
Mom seemed to finally understand that her dinner was the problem. “You don’t like beef stroganoff and creamed spinach, Ash?”
Ashley blinked a few times. “Do you?” She fanned the air near her face. “That smell… like the trash can after—”
“That’s enough.” Dad was very serious. “No more complaining, Ashley.” He looked at the others. “Let’s thank God for our food.”
After the prayer Dad smiled at their mother. “Tell us about your day, my love.”
“Well…” She put her hand over her mouth, the way she sometimes did when she was trying not to laugh. “I spent the last few hours cooking.”
Everyone was taking big sloopy scoops of the dinner, which only stirred up the smell and made the room feel heavy. Like the smelly food was moving through the actual air now.
Ashley took a small bit of the dish and tried to breathe through her mouth.
“Hey!” Erin raised her fork in the air. “I really like this dinner!” She grinned at their mom. “We haven’t had it in years.”
“It’s been a long time.” Mom smiled. “Thank you, Erin.”
That did it. Ashley crossed her arms and stared at her plate. This was the worst day. She had failed at Sunday school art, failed at drawing Bo, and now her whole family had turned on her.
Kari chimed in next, telling Mom how great the dinner was… as if beef stroganoff and creamed spinach was better than pizza. Brooke was eating her plateful just fine, and so was Luke.
Only Ashley was the outsider.
“Ashley.” Her mom handed her a piece of bread from the basket at the middle of the table. “Here.” Kindness warmed her mother’s eyes. “You don’t have to eat the dinner. Not everyone has to like it. I understand.”
The first good bit of news all day! Her mom understood. Ashley took the bread and slathered it with more butter than usual. Tears stung her eyes as she took a bite. The rest of dinner she looked only at her bread. Not at her family or the yucky dinner or Mom’s nice eyes.
Better to keep to herself. Before something else happened.
After dinner, Luke cleared his plate and announced that he was going out back to catch toads. “Unless they’re gone for the fall.”
Brooke went to the front room to read her history book and the other girls followed Luke outside. Dad, too.
Only Mom stayed. “Would you like more bread?”
Ashley shook her head. “I don’t want this piece, actually.”
“I didn’t think so.” Mom moved to the spot next to Ashley. “Not the best day, huh?”
“Everyone thinks I’m a disaster. They laugh at me and don’t stick up for me and sometimes they leave me out.” Ashley’s eyes grew watery. “Plus I think I’ve lost my skills as an artist, Mother. You should see my terrible drawing of Bo.” She rested her forehead on the table for a few seconds and then she sat straight again. “Everything in my head is sad.”
Mom took hold of Ashley’s hand. “Thoughts can be like that.”
“Yes. My thoughts are all grouchy and frustrated.”
“Hmm.” Mom was quiet for a minute. “Sometimes thoughts are like autumn toads. Hard to catch.”
Ashley looked at her mother. “What do you mean?”
“The Bible says we should think about what’s good and true. Beautiful things and things we admire.” Mom’s voice was kind. “When sad thoughts fill our hearts, we can talk about them, of course. But eventually we should think about happier things instead. It’s our choice.”
“So we can catch the sad thoughts and tell them to leave?” Ashley sniffed. “And then instead think about happy thoughts?”
“Yes.” Mom patted Ashley’s hand. “Happy thoughts are always just a think away.”
“A think away.” Ashley smiled. “I like that.” Just then Bo ran in from outside and came right to Ashley’s feet. He licked her bare ankle and panted. Like he wanted to play. Ashley giggled. “Like thinking about a brand-new puppy?”
“Exactly.” Mom took a long breath. “There’s so much to be thankful for, Ashley. And the truth is no one believes you’re a disaster. People laugh with you, because you’re funny in a good way. And the only reason your brother and sisters didn’t stand up for you today is they didn’t want to make me feel bad.”
Ashley nodded a few times.