Topsy Turvy Kinda Love
at me, startled. “Brooks, I appreciate the offer, but do I look like someone who participates in physical activity?”My gaze slides up her body appreciatively, and I quirk an eyebrow. What I want to say is that she’d look good doing physical activity with me… but I refrain. Instead, I say, “I hate to break it to you, Mia, but sex is also included in physical activity.”
“Duh, I know that better than you do, but at least when I sweat doing that, I’m enjoying the fuck out of it. Not just running to kill myself.”
I chuckle and hold my hands up in front of me. “Fair enough.”
She takes a long sip of her hot tea, and a satisfied moan passes her lips and makes my dick twitch. I was already sporting a semi, and it did not need any more encouragement than it already had, damnit.
“What would people do without tea? It’s a godsend some days.”
“I’ll take your word for it. Can’t say I’ve ever had a cup of tea.”
Her jaw hits an invisible boundary. “How have you never had tea? Seriously, Brooks? Looks like I’ll be bringing you pleasure in more ways than one while we have our little arrangement.”
I smirk at how awkward her words come out sometimes. That’s just my girl. A pain shoots through my heart. She’s not mine, and at this point I’m not sure if she ever will be.
I’m wondering if maybe I’m imagining things that don’t exist. We tend to tiptoe around touchy subjects like her family and past. She’s been coming home more these days than hanging out with Zara, and I choose to believe that’s because of me, but maybe she is genuinely just anti-social.
“Hey Brooks,” she says, snapping my attention back to those beautiful blue eyes of hers. “What’s a Jedi master?”
My jaw literally drops as I gawk at her. “Star Wars? Return of the Jedi? Princess Leah and Luke Skywalker?”
“Is that like a movie or something?”
“New plan. You teach me about sex, and I’ll teach you about Star Wars. I’m honestly shocked you’ve never seen it. Like how is that even possible? I thought everyone had seen Star Wars before…” I shake my head, still in disbelief.
Her eyes lift up to mine, and I’m rewarded with her signature smile. “You have a deal, Brooks.” We shake on it like it’s some important agreement. A giggle escapes her lips- the perfect cadence of pitch like an angel singing in my ear.
This girl…
I love moments like these where her barriers are down, and I’m given a glimpse of just her, not this wall of goth clothes, rainbow-colored hair, and sass. I don’t even want to fight this weird tension we have between us, and I’m falling under this lust-induced cloud we’ve surrounded ourselves with over the last couple of weeks staying together.
I’m stoked that she said yes to giving me lessons on pleasure. She’s my one, but I won’t be the one to tell her. Not yet at least. And it’s not just the sex, it’s her.
I want to date her. To woo her. She’s locked in her past, without the key, and I want to be the one that opens that damn door and sets her free. She won’t be able to turn me away from her. I’ve started to pick the lock like a criminal breaking in. I need to remember, though, that once this door is open, there is no turning back. It’s fragile territory I’m treading just by turning the key.
She has passion in her eyes, and sometimes I see glimpses of what she truly wants, but I won’t do a thing to topple this shaky tower. Something holds her back, blocking her path from whatever this thing is growing between us. I have no idea what it is, and it makes me twitchy with anxiety. I could ask her, but would I? No, absolutely not.
Maybe she’ll realize that whatever she built those walls up for in the first place isn’t a reason to keep them up permanently. She may act like a total badass when she’s around other people, but the person I see when it’s just her is simply a girl that wants to be loved.
“Wait, he asked you for sex lessons?” Zara sits in Brooks’ ugly recliner, a joint between her fingers, a glass of wine in her other hand. The afternoon light slips in through a slit in the curtain, painting the floor with its rays, and I stare at it. The light reflects off a glass piece on my coffee table, and I can’t help but admire the kaleidoscope of colors it sprays into the room.
“Yep.” I still can’t believe it, but it explains a lot of the way he acts in certain situations. I can’t even fathom not having sex until I was 22 years old.
She takes a hit, leaning against the back of the chair. “You gonna go for it?”
“Have you seen Brooks? Hell, yes, I’m going to jump on that offer, literally. You should see his dick, Zara. I’m talking long and really thick. If he can figure out how to work it, damn. I’ll be one hella lucky roomie.”
Her eyes grow wide. “Hold up, when did you see his dick?”
I shrug, a smile permeating my face. My core heats up thinking about how hot it was watching Brooks fall apart in front of me. “When I gave him a blowjob in the shower the other night.”
“Ok, I’m going to need you to walk me through that whole story.” And I did, not leaving out a single detail.
She wiggles her eyebrows at me. “So, when is this all going down?”
I shake my head and laugh. “Not entirely sure yet. I guess we need to come up with a list, ya know. Like a sex bucket list or something. I’m assuming he hasn’t done anything, but I don’t know for sure.”
“Okay then, sit down tonight and make a list for Brooks. Then at least you