Topsy Turvy Kinda Love
sit and analyze every single moment and work it out in her mind. The fact that she wants me to stay changes things. It’s as if she’s finally ready to accept that maybe there’s something between us more than just sex. I’ll take whatever I can get. But that’s crazy, right? Could mind-blowing sex really win her over so easily? I don’t see it.“Okay, I’ll be back.” I slip out from where she lay cradled against me. Picking up my phone, I duck into the kitchen and call Eddie. Bouncing my knee nervously up and down as I lean against the sink, I wait for him to answer. One ring. Two rings. Three rings.
“Hey, it’s Eddie.”
“Eddie, it’s Brooks. Sorry about the short notice, man, but I’m not gonna be able to make it into work today.”
His voice sounds unamused, almost angry when he responds. “Seriously, you’re scheduled to be here in twenty minutes.”
“I know. It’s short notice, and I’m a total dick for calling in, but it’s my first time.”
“Alright, alright. I’ll call Zara and see if she can come in on short notice and cover.”
“Thanks, man. I really appreciate it.”
“Hope whatever you’re doing is worth it.”
“It is.” I know that for sure. She’ll always, always be worth it. Now, I just have to convince her.
I stand in the doorway and watch her shoulders shake slightly. She’s facing away from me on the bed, and I know the telltale signs of crying better than most people. I’d seen it often growing up. Walking over to the bed, I sit down and slip under the sheets, wrapping my arm over her hip and pulling her closer. She shudders against me, and I hold on tighter, pressing kisses to the back of her hair and down her shoulder.
“Hey, baby. Shhh… what’s going on?” I let my fingers trace over her bare hip bone trying to soothe her. To let her feel the comfort in my presence.
She shakes her head right before her eyes find mine. The light streaming into the room kisses her tears as each one slips free, unbeholden to gravity. “I don’t know how to shut them out.”
“Shut who out?”
“The emotions,” she whispers, another sniffle escaping her.
“What emotions? Tell me what’s going on up here.” Moving a stray strand of hair from her face I lean over her, tap her forehead lightly, and kiss her cheek. My heart breaks to see the torment within the deep blue eyes I’ve learned to love.
“I have feelings and I can’t shut them out.”
“Feelings, Mia? This is what all of the waterworks are for, my Pixie girl?”
She nods against me. Rolling over, she curls into my chest and I feel the warm tears falling from her eyes. “Hey, hey. It’s okay. I feel them too, Mia. Do you want to talk about them?”
“No.” One word spoken so softly in a whisper that I almost miss it.
“Okay, we don’t have to.”
“Thank you. Can you please just hold me for a little while?” This is the first time she’s let me in, and I’m lured into the magic of it. Into the allure of being needed.
“Of course. Anything for you, my beautiful girl.” I don’t know how long we stayed there wrapped in each other’s embrace, sharing one sip of air after the next. Our heartbeats marry into the perfect union after a while and start to beat as one.
“You deserve better than me. I’m a sack of emotional baggage who’s not good enough for you.”
I don’t respond because I won’t grant her a comment to her pathetic excuse at pushing me away. I’m not giving up on her. Not now, not ever.
I’m a hopeless romantic, so help me, and I want her to believe in it too—love and everything that comes with it.
The only thing standing in my way of showing her is Mia. She needs to want this, or it won’t work. I won’t handle her with kid gloves, but she needs to know I’m serious without scaring the shit out of her by moving too fast.
Her breathing slows soon, and I know she’s drifted off to sleep in my arms. The feelings aren’t overwhelming her, at least for a little while. I like the feel of her in my arms where she’s protected and loved. I watch her sleep. She has a small snore, and it’s adorably perfect, just like her.
Her flaws are abundant, I can see them, but we all have scars. Some of us just hide them better, and I have a feeling that Mia has been hiding hers deeply for a few years now. She’s told me bits and pieces of her life, but I crave knowing more about her. Knowing what makes her feel alive. I want to know everything down to the simplest detail. If she opens up, maybe then she’ll trust me to know every truth and hold it like the most precious thing.
I don’t remember falling asleep, but her soft breathing has obviously put me to sleep too. She stirs slightly, and I watch as sapphire blue eyes open in front of me. The beginnings of a smile tracing those pert lips. “Hi.”
“Hey you.” She stretches, and I enjoy a face full of Mia boobs. And there goes my dick. At ease soldier.
“Well, hello big fellow.” A tiny palm cups my shaft, and I’m ready to go in an instant.
“Mmm… someone’s happy to see me.”
“Always, Mia. You make me crazy for you.” I chuckle as her body presses against mine, causing all sorts of inappropriate thoughts to build in my mind. I shove them away. We’ve just had the most passionate sex, she cried and then fell asleep. I want to gauge where we stand before doing anything more sexual with her. It’s more than sex now, and I refuse to give her an out by fucking the daylights out of her no matter how much my dick protests.
“Let’s get dressed. I want to take you somewhere.”
“Where to?” She quirks an eyebrow at me.
“It’s a surprise.”
“Okay…”
“Come