Topsy Turvy Kinda Love
swept away to be cleaned up a little before the nurse looks up and asks the question I’ve been waiting for since we got here earlier today.“Do you want to hold them?”
I nod yes at the same time, Mia says yes. She looks exhausted. Sweat coats her hair, and her face is flushed from pushing. Her breathing has calmed slightly, but it’s still heavier than normal. The nurse swaddles our little bundles up and is walking them over to Mia, instructing her to lift the gown so they can have skin to skin bonding time. They’re placed gently on her chest, and tears stream down her face. Mia looks up at me. “We did it, babe. They’re here, and they’re beautiful.”
“You did it, Pixie. I’m so damn proud and happy right now.”
She raises her hand and runs a finger along his chubby little cheeks, cooing softly to our twins. My heart beats wildly in my chest, my pulse strong with love for all three of them. At this moment, my life is perfect. I lean over and kiss his blonde peach fuzz head, followed by her dark fuzz head. “Welcome to the world, Wesley Greyson and Piper Brielle. We’re your mom and dad.”
“Which last name do you want to use, Mia?”
“Jansen.”
“Are you sure?”
“Well, I’m hoping that someday soon we’ll all be Jansen’s.” She smiles a teary smile and looks back at the bundles of joy in her arms.
“I like the sound of that. Well then, welcome to the world, Wesley Greyson and Piper Brielle Jansen. We love you so much, little ones.” I run my forefinger over Wesley’s hand, and he reaches out to latch onto me. My heart melts. I’m absolutely done for with one simple touch. There I go again, collecting tiny moments of treasure along my lifetime. Each time I experience something new and exciting, I’m reminded that I knew nothing when I first asked if I could breathe without a heartbeat.
“They’re perfect.”
I look at her. “Just like you.”
“No, just like us. Two perfectly imperfect creatures making a perfectly imperfect, awkward, and topsy turvy life together.”
I’d gone in search of tea early the next morning. It proved a success after I finally found the cafeteria. I open the door to our hospital room, and Mia’s soft snores welcome me. I look over to the babies and watch as their little arms and legs move within the swaddle they’re wrapped up in.
It was a rough night for Mia. She’d slept lightly, waking every time Wesley or Piper moved. The nurse had shown her how to get each baby to latch onto her, and it’d taken a few times for them to get the hang of it, but my kiddos are smart cookies. I glide using soft steps across the floor to my chair beside the bed and sit down.
Flowers litter the room, painting each table in bright colors. The floral scent mixes with the sterile smells of a typical hospital room, making it almost bearable. Most have accompanying balloons and cards that say “Congrats,” “It’s a girl,” or “It’s a boy.” A few stuffed animals are scattered throughout as well.
All of our friends sent their well wishes. Macy and Trevor. Zara and Don. Trevor’s parents. It still hurt not being able to tell my parents that I was finally happy and exactly where I’m meant to be, but I chose this life. I chose to walk away. Best damn decision I’ve ever made.
Don, as I’d taken to calling him, came back a little later on without Zara, and we chatted for a while, catching up on everything that’s happened since he left. I still find it hard to believe he owns a sex club, but he’s doing what he wants to do, same as me.
Tears blur my vision as I look at my sleeping girlfriend and the gift she’s given me in Wesley and Piper.
I’m exhausted. Every time Mia was up, I was up. Sleep calls to me, but I can’t pry my eyes away from my precious family in front of me. My eyes trail over Mia. She stopped dying her hair once Dr. Morgan told her she couldn’t in the first trimester. It’s a silky strawberry blonde color. It fits her, but I much prefer her rainbow-colored glory. It’s much more her. She stirs when I reach out to hold her hand, and sapphire blue eyes meet mine. “Shhh, go to sleep, my Pixie girl. I’m just gonna sit here and rock our little ones.”
She nods, and her eyes flutter shut again at my command. Sleep takes her soon enough, and her soft breathing tells me she’s out. The tea I’m holding may be cold by the time she wakes up, but I know where the source is now so I can get it for her whenever.
The babies start cooing, and I’m drawn to them. Lifting them out of the hospital edition cribs, I return to my seat and start swaying slowly, my motions putting them back to sleep. The nurse suggested that I take off my shirt and let both babies’ bond with me, skin to skin like they did with Mia yesterday, but we’ll do it later. Right now, I just want to hold these little miracles in front of me. I lean over and kiss Wesley and then Piper’s forehead softly like I do to their mom. It’s become second nature to me.
Mia’s eyes drift open again, and she groans. “Do you know what that does for me?”
“What does?”
“You sitting there looking so manly holding our children in your arms?” she purrs. It’s been a while since we’ve had sex, and I miss it but I wouldn’t change this for the world. The way Mia is looking at me right now makes me want to strip naked and do dirty things to her, but I resist. I don’t need to be thinking about anything like that with the little ones right in front of me. That’s indecent.
“Stop ogling, Mia.”
“I can’t