Survival

the air, I turned andjumped into the shower letting thehot jets spray all over my still damaged skin. It felt amazing, andfor a long time, I just stood under the spray and let the waterwash away all my anguish
As my body began to relax and finally find comfort,I felt the tremors return. My body trembled and shookuncontrollably, and I knew what was coming, what needed to happen.If I wanted my body to be strong, I would have to expel myweakness. I needed to purge every last drop of my affliction inorder to conquer my nightmare and I didn’t resist any longer as Ifully unleashed the hell in my aching, bleeding heart.
I violently released all the pain and grief I hadbeen holding in and screamed andcried the hardest I ever had in my entire life, slamming my fistsdown on the wet tile until they throbbed. My tears fell hard andheavy as I eventually curled into a ball on the floor of the shower and cradled myself under thespray. I could have sworn that even though the shower was scalding,its heat had nothing on the liquid fire that flowed from my eyes. Iwept with everything I had as Icried for the loss of my family, the loss of the love of my life,for the loss of Kayla and the other girls, and for the loss ofmyself.
I had worked so hard to get to where I was, and now,it had all been snatched away from me like some cruel joke. I haddreams and goals, but they’d been replaced with the demand toplease another who thought he owned me. I wanted so badly to gohome, to wake up in Jason's embrace and find that all of this wasjust a twisted nightmare. God, I missed him so much, and it killedme not knowing how long it would be before I felt his arms aroundme again.
But I vowed I would get back to him. Come hell orhigh water, I would escape this place and exact my revenge on thisfuck who thought he could rule me. I would somehow have to fool himinto thinking that he did, let him believe me brainwashed andcontent. I would play the part perfectly. I, of course, would haveto keep up my fight, at first, lethim think he really was breaking me down to his liking, and playhis perfect little submissive pet. Then, when I finally had hiscomplete trust, I would strike. And I would strike hard and withoutmercy. I was going to make this man actually care about me until hefinally fell in love, assuming he was capable of love … and thenturn his world upside down. And in turn, I would make him think Iwas in love with him, too. I’d have him so tightly wrapped aroundmy finger, he wouldn’t be able to feel himself slowly choking todeath.
And fuck his empire. I’ll take that shit down,too.
Once I felt I had forced out every last tear my bodyhad banked, I pushed myself from the floor and finished cleaning not only my body but also my soul. After washing and pruning the shitout of my skin, I emerged from the shower a brand new person.
I grabbed the towels I had placed on the counter andwrapped my hair and body. Looking at myself in the mirror, not onlydid I look a hell of a lot better, butI also felt it. I still had scrapes and slight bruising hereand there, but nothing I couldn't fix with my makeup skills.
Toweling my hair dry, I put in some leave-inconditioner and let the damp strands air dry while I applied mymakeup. I went for a soft smoky look that brought out the hazel inmy eyes. Thankfully, I was able to conceal some of the redness andbruising from my lovely owner’s handling of me. I even managed tocover the ones on my arms and legs, but the one on my chest was alittle harder to conceal. By the time I was done, it hadappeared as if it was simplyfading. I hoped it would be gone in the next few days.
I then gave my hair a perfect blow out, and it feltso good to have my tresses finally brushed and styled, mymid-length red-layered locks falling beautifully down my back. Iwas beginning to feel human again, but I knew once I went down todinner, I would magically turn back into the object I knew Iwas.
Heading into the walk-in closet, I managed to find asoft navy blue ombré high-low dress that, of course, fit meperfectly. How did he even know my size? I also found a matchingwhite lace bra and thong set in the drawers, thongs apparentlybeing the only source of underwear he allowed me. Studying my shoeselection resting on the shelves next to the clothes, I eyed thevast number of stilettos, pumps, wedges, and boots that dominated the minority ofsandals and ballet flats.
Surprisingly, there was a single pair of black andhot pink Nike running shoes on the bottom shelf. I almost went forthem but figured he wouldn’tappreciate my sense of humor. I thought about the stilettos andenjoyed the idea of gaining a few inches and possibly stabbing himwith the heel, but it was too difficult to fight in heels; whateverinches I gained wouldn't make a bit of a difference anyway. Thefucker would still tower over me.
I decided on a pair of plain black flats and slippedthem on my feet. Another perfect fit. He had some speedy shoppers.I figured it had probably been close to two hours, and deciding itwas much better to be early than late, I walked out the door andheaded downstairs.
As I took my sweet-ass time walking down the hallwayand taking in what was supposedly my new home, I scanned everysquare foot in front of me, searching for any flaw I couldfind.
Various pictures of black and white adorned thewalls, and the railings and sidings all appeared well kept andclean. Making my way to the stairs, I took them slowly, each stepon the dark wooden stairs notmaking a single sound under my weight. I took note, as that wouldcome in