Lost and Found Pieces 2

her emotions in a swirl. Pride mixed with excitement as she headed back down the sidewalk toward the clinic and her car. Then her gaze landed upon the sign across the street advertising antiques. In the plate glass window there was a second, smaller sign offering books. She tried to peer inside, but the lights were down. The shop was already closed. She wondered if Mac knew about this place. It seemed like he went through books like crazy.
With her attention focused on her surroundings she headed back to the car. As she started the car and cranked the heat, she realized she was proud of herself. Normally, when she did have to work at the clinic, she didn't dawdle. She got in the car and went straight home. As she’d waited in the coffee shop she realized she missed getting out like that. She missed feeling like a normal person. Though it had been a while, she missed going on dates, both good and bad.
For some reason she thought about Mac. When had he last gone on a date? Probably a long time. She didn't even know if he’d ever been married. She'd never taken the time to actually ask the man about his history.
For someone so cautious about her safety that seemed like a giant misstep.
Feeling generous, she called and ordered Chinese food from the only Chinese restaurant in the area. While she waited for the food to be ready, she pulled into a pharmacy to pick up a few things.
Big box pharmacies were her favorite places to shop, even if they were a little more expensive. They tended to have a range of everything she needed, from liquor to personal items. This one in particular even had a long wall of grocery items. She grabbed liquid creamer, 18 eggs, a package of bacon, a block of cheddar, and three bottles of wine. Then, because she was feeling guilty, two packages of precut salad.
Once again, her hands were full as she walked to her SUV, but she kept her eyes moving. If anyone was going to attack her, they'd have to do it in front of a lot of people.
She drove up the mountain feeling extremely proud of herself. As she parked in her normal spot, Mac came out to greet her and help her with groceries. He gave her a surprised, appreciative look as he carried the Chinese bag into the house. "Look at you," he said approvingly. “Groceries and Chinese!”
Roz shifted uncomfortably. Once Mac came to the house, she'd relinquished a lot of the small details like shopping and some of the cooking. Not that he seemed to mind. He was actually a really good cook. She knew that he missed some of the city conveniences, though, like takeout.
She shrugged, but inside she was still buzzing with accomplishment. Holding up the half-full coffee cup, she climbed the stairs. “I went into the coffee shop and didn’t freak out.”
A broad grin split Mac’s mouth and he very deliberately reached out and hugged her. Roz accepted the intimacy and inhaled him, loving that he greeted her at the door when she came home. Drawing back he took the food bags from her and nodded her inside.
Once the door was shut behind them, cocooning them in, Roz relaxed. Grinning, she turned to Mac. “At the coffee shop a guy reached around me to grab the door and I about peed my pants until I realized he was just being nice.”
Roz realized she was shaking. She held out her hands and watched them quake.
Mac moved close and wrapped his hands around hers, stopping the shaking. He lifted her hands and placed them against his chest as he grinned down at her. “Gettin’ daring, going to the coffee shop alone.”
Roz nodded, and tears came to her eyes. “I just… I’m tired of living like a rabbit, scared of her own shadow. I think of what my son is doing right now and my life is brought more sharply into focus.”
She leaned toward Mac, hoping he would wrap his arms around her, and he did. “I don’t think you’re a rabbit,” he rumbled beneath her ear. “A sly fox, maybe. Something with a pretty coat.”
One of his big hands ran down her hair and Roz could have happily died and gone to heaven right then. Why was his touch so… welcoming? She felt like she could do anything with him right here.
Eventually he pulled back but she got the impression that he didn’t want to let her go.
“I’ll get plates,” he murmured, turning away.
Roz watched him, wishing she could be more than she was. The steps that she’d taken tonight seemed tiny. Years ago, before the attacks, she’d been a ballbuster. You had to be when you were a part of an emergency department the size of Riverside, one of the biggest hospitals in Ohio. Every night there were gunshot victims, knife wounds, heart attacks in addition to the five million potential illnesses that walked through the door. A nurse had to be at the top of her game to work in that kind of environment.
The attack had been so random. Just an everyday homeless dude that had been seen many times before. Even all these years later she could remember the foul smell of the man and the feel of his rough clothing. She’d had bruises on her belly where he’d forced his hands between their bodies to unfasten his pants and rip her scrubs down. His noxious breath, reeking of rotten teeth, had huffed into her face as he maneuvered his body over hers. When she’d fought, he’d slapped her senseless. Blood had trickled from her mouth down her cheek, and her eye on that side had swelled. But she’d done everything she could to fight. Though it had disgusted her, she’d bitten his dirty neck, trying to get him off of her. He’d attacked her in the bathroom and there was nothing within reach to use as a weapon.