HIM
much for me to handle."We need to get going. I don't want to be late," I say.
I grab my bag and walk past him toward the small hallway.
"Ali? Can we talk about this?" he questions as he grabs my arm.
I turn to him and look up into his eyes. The bluish-green eyes of the man from the photo with his mother are apparent right now. I don't know what to say to him.
"What is there to talk about?" I scuff.
"Talk about what just happened," he counters.
"I don't want to know what's going on between you and her, I just want to go to work," I say, then turn away, heading down the hallway.
Luke follows me. I stop, turn to him, there's anger in my face and voice.
"Please, go get dressed, or I will walk down to Jason's for a ride."
He looks at me like he's about ready to either punch the wall or cry. I'm not sure which one it is, as I'm not sure if I know who he is at all. I thought I did not too long ago, well that I was getting to know him at least. I know I should hear him out, but with my mindset the way it is right now, I won't hear what he has to say anyway. I'm not even sure if an explanation can fix things right now. I need time to process everything.
"Can we please talk about this, please?" Luke begs.
"I don't want to," I shout and walk away.
I look back at him as he turns and walks back down the hallway. I put on my boots and head out into the pole barn. I walk over to my dad's Ranchero and remove the sheet that covers it. I open the passenger side door, slide myself into the driver's seat, and sit down. I rest my arms on the steering wheel, lay my head in between them, and stare at the floor
Chapter Forty-Five
The ride to the shop is unusually silent; not even one song plays on the radio. I stare out the window the entire way to work. We pull into the parking lot, and I get out as soon as I can. I hear Luke say my name, but I ignore him. I walk straight back to the offices, not acknowledging anyone on the way there, even if they say hi or good morning to me. I want to be left alone. I'm relieved when I see Maureen is not at her desk. I proceed to my dad's office, close the door, and lock it behind me. I walk over to his couch and sit down. I need a few moments to myself. I run my hands through my hair as I bend the top half of my body toward my thighs, looking at the floor.
Luke and I are not together as there has never been any dating talk or talk about having a relationship. It was merely just sex, and he is sleeping with other people. I am only one of those people on his list. I was overthinking and got overexcited, thinking he wanted to be with me exclusively. I need to stop thinking there was more to the situation than that. I need to let go of what I feel for him and focus on finishing the remodeling of my dad's office, hiring a new secretary, and getting back to my life in the city. Luke has clouded my head long enough, and I need to get back on track.
I call Ris, but of course; she doesn't answer. I need to talk to her right now; she would set me straight. I'm sure she is getting ready for work or on her way there and has the music blaring in her car. I will text her a short-summarized bit.
Hey Ris, call me when you get a chance. I really need to talk. I had sex with Luke twice yesterday and stayed the night with him at his place. Bridget came by this morning and flipped out on him because he did not go to her house her last night. Also, I want to talk about how he's fucking us both. I'm freaking out. Love you.
I get off the couch and dawdle to my dad's desk, power on his computer, and grab my coffee cup. I didn't get coffee or eat any of the deliciously appetizing breakfast that Luke made me this morning. I walk into Maureen's office, and she is on the phone; I smile and wave at her as I pass by. There is coffee in the breakroom, but I don't feel like running into Luke right now. I want to avoid him for the rest of the day. My stomach growls, I'm hungry but not in the mood to eat. I put a french vanilla cappuccino into the customer Keurig machine. As the water heats for brewing, I look out the window watching traffic as it passes by.
The steam sounds and gurgles as it's ready to brew my cup. I press start then hear the door from Maureen's office open and close. I turn around to see Luke walking toward me. He is wiping his hands on a rag, his work shirt is unbuttoned, and his hat is backward. He looks delicious but distressed.
"I don't want to discuss this morning with you at work," I tell him sternly.
He says nothing and keeps walking toward me. I stand there staring at him, and he continues walking. He stops with a finger worth of space between us. I look at his chest, which is at my eye level, then look up at him. His eyes are glossy and reveal so much pain behind them. They look so sincere that I can't help but feel sorry for him. I look back and forth between them as they do not change their appearance.
"I'm falling in love with you," Luke chokes out.
He looks as though he will start crying any minute. My mood shifts from anger