Unforgotten (Forgiven)

one.”
I had more than one. Mia had done a run across the Channel to stock up on the essentials we couldn’t be without, and my fridge was loaded with stubby brown bottles of my mother’s favourite lager. I retrieved two, opened them, and handed one to Billy. “Chin chin.”
“That what they say in France?”
“Nope.”
He snorted and took a swig, downing half the small bottle in one long swallow. I watched his throat work for a moment, then busied myself setting dinner out on the counter. Billy’s eyes widened. He set his beer down. “That’s a lot of food.”
“Not really. You’d better eat fast if you want to eat at all. I grew up with Mia, and old habits die hard.”
“I’ve never had dinner with your sister, and my mum is a terrible cook, so we ate slow in our house.”
And since then? Because Billy hadn’t lived with his mother in years.
My inner monologue was repetitive enough to annoy me. I made a silent vow to stop fixating on how long Billy had been gone and focus on the present. I pointed at a kitchen stool. “Whatever. I’ll try and contain myself enough that you don’t starve.”
But it turned out not to matter. Billy, apparently, ate like a bird, and as greedy as I was, I couldn’t eat two whole pizzas to myself, though I’m not gonna lie, I did my best.
When I was done, I stashed the leftovers in the fridge and returned to where Billy was picking at his second slice.
I put more salad on his plate and a few extra sweet potatoes.
He rubbed his stomach and shook his head. “I’m done.”
“Go on, they’re only little.”
“Are you a feeder?”
“Dunno. Never tried, but you’re skinny as hell, man. Humour me and eat up.”
I retreated to the fridge for more beer before he could react. My phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out and saw the Grindr app flashing. On a normal night, that would be my cue to grab a shower and abandon my empty house for the night. Despite my promise to Luke, I tapped on it. A bunch of messages flashed up, the good, the bad, and the downright disturbing. I deleted most, and lingered over a profile I’d been edging to hook up with for a few weeks now, a closeted mechanic who lived far enough away that I wouldn’t catch any blowback if he got caught. I cruised for distraction, not drama.
“Boyfriend?”
“Hmm?” I glanced up to find Billy watching me, elbows bracing his plate. “Oh. No. Not on Grindr. That’s not my vibe.”
“What is your vibe? Dirty old men and dick pics?”
I laughed. “You sound like someone who’s had a bad time on hook-up apps.”
“Do I?”
“Yeah. Why else the assumption they’re all filthy OAPs and dick pics?”
Billy shrugged, and for a moment looked so boyish I forgot he was the same age as me. “I don’t get why you’d want to exchange, like, two messages with someone, then go and bang them. Freaks me out just thinking about it.”
He legitimately shuddered, and I wondered if he was lying. If he’d had a bad experience after all. I shut the app and dropped my phone on the counter. “Then don’t think about it. If you’re not doing it, it’s not your concern.”
My tone was mild, but I meant it. I got enough grief about my sex life from my sister, I didn’t need it from someone I was in forced proximity with for the foreseeable future. I couldn’t deny I was getting antsy, though, even with Billy for sullen company. I wasn’t good at staying home. Too often, the walls closed in on me, and I wound up in a stranger’s bed just for something to do. A hot body and a faceless fuck did wonders for a loud mind. I pictured the last hook-up I’d had. It had been a few days, but the older dude with silver hair and elegant hands had been hot enough that I’d figured our encounter would keep me occupied for the downtime I planned to help Billy settle in. But as hard as I tried, the memories wouldn’t come. My heart stayed flat, and I drummed my fingers on the kitchen counter.
A cool hand stilled me. For the second time in as many hours, I blinked to find Billy holding my wrist and scrutinising me like an alien in a jar.
His frown got under my skin. His touch?
It set me on fire.
Unsettled, I twisted free, and instantly regretted it. My whole arm felt adrift, like he’d punched me instead. “Uh. Sorry. Did I space on you? It’s been a day.”
Billy stepped away, his face smoothing out. “A bit. I reckon you’d rather be somewhere else.” He jerked his head at my phone. “Don’t let me cramp your style, I’ll stay in my room.”
He backed up until he was at the kitchen door, then he scooped his cat from the floor and disappeared, leaving me alone with empty pizza boxes, a buzzing phone, and no intention of going anywhere.

Chapter Four
Billy
I was shit at sleeping, but somehow, curling up in a bed that smelt of my brother’s girlfriend put me in a coma. It was ten o’clock the next morning when I woke from childhood dreams. Dazed, I sat up. Sunlight streamed through the curtains I’d forgotten to close and revealed Grey at the foot of the bed, stretched out like he owned the place.
He was happy.
Relief spread through me, despite my disquiet at facing up to a new day in an old town. The night before, distracting myself from wondering what Gus was up to on Grindr had led to me fretting about Grey’s wellbeing. He’d been semi-feral at the yard. What if he didn’t want to live in middle-class suburbia any more than I did? Would he run away? Or die of unhappiness? I’d done the first myself too many times to count. The threat of the latter was my constant companion, and I wouldn’t have wished it