Farewell Waltz

have created … for it repenteth me that I have made him.’”
“And perhaps it was only a moment of weakness on the Lord’s part finally to have permitted Noah to take refuge in his ark in order to start afresh the history of man. Can we be sure that God never regretted this weakness? But whether He regretted it or not, there was nothing more to do. God can’t make Himself ridiculous by constantly changing His decisions. But what if it was He who put the idea into Herod’s head? Can that be ruled out?”
Bertlef shrugged his shoulders and said nothing.
“Herod was a king. He was not just responsible for himself alone. He couldn’t tell himself, as I do: Let others do what they want, I refuse to procreate. Herod was a king and knew that he had to decide not only for himself but also for others, and he decided on behalf of all mankind that man would no longer reproduce. This is how the massacre of the newborns came about. His motives were not as vile as the ones tradition attributes to him. Herod was driven by a most generous wish finally to free the world from mankind’s clutches.”
“Your interpretation of Herod pleases me greatly,” said Bertlef. “It pleases me so much that from now on I shall see the Massacre of the Innocents as you do. But don’t forget that at the very moment Herod decided that mankind would cease to exist, there was born in Bethlehem a little boy who was to elude the king’s knife. And this child grew up and told people that only one thing was needed to make life worth living: to love one another. Herod was probably better educated and more experienced. Jesus was certainly wet behind the ears and did not know much about life. All his teachings might be explained by his youth and inexperience. By his naïveté, if you wish. And yet he possessed the truth.”
“The truth? Who has proved this truth?” Jakub asked sharply.
“No one,” said Bertlef. “No one has proved it, and no one ever will prove it. Jesus loved his Father so much that he could not admit his Father’s work was bad. He was not led to this conclusion by reason but by love. This is why only our hearts can bring the quarrel between Jesus and Herod to a close. Is it worth being a man, yes or no? I have no proof of it, but, along with Jesus, I believe the answer is yes.” That said, he turned with a smile to Dr. Skreta: “That is why I sent my wife here to take the cure under the direction of Doctor Skreta, who to my mind is one of the holy disciples of Jesus, for he knows how to perform miracles and bring back to life women’s dormant wombs. I drink to his health!”
10
Jakub had always treated Olga with paternal responsibility and playfully liked to call himself her “old gentleman.” She knew, however, that he had many women with whom things were entirely different, and she envied them. But today, for the first time, she thought there was really something old about Jakub. In the way he behaved with her, she sensed the mustiness that for the young emanates from the generation of their elders.
Old men are recognizable by their habit of bragging about past sufferings and making a museum of them (ah, these sad museums have so few visitors!). Olga realized that she was the most important living object in Jakub’s museum and that Jakub’s generously altruistic attitude toward her was meant to move visitors to tears.
Today too the most precious nonliving object in the museum had been revealed to her: the pale-blue tablet. Not long before, when he had unfolded in her presence the piece of paper the tablet was wrapped in, she had been surprised by not feeling the slightest emotion. Though she understood Jakub’s contemplation of suicide in a bad time, she found the solemnity with which he let her know about it ridiculous. She found it ridiculous that he had unfolded the tissue paper so cautiously, as if the tablet were a precious diamond. And she didn’t see why he wanted to give the poison back to Dr. Skreta on the day of his departure, since he had maintained that every adult should under all circumstances be in control of his own death. If, once he was abroad, he were stricken by cancer, would he not need the poison? No, for Jakub the tablet was not simply poison, it was a symbolic prop he now wanted to return to the high priest in a religious service. It was enough to make you laugh.
She left the baths and headed toward the Richmond. Despite all her disillusioned reflections, she looked forward to seeing Jakub. She had a great desire to desecrate his museum, to function in it no longer as an object but as a woman. She was thus a bit disappointed to find a note on his door asking her to join him in the room next door, where he was waiting for her with Bertlef and Dr. Skreta. The thought of being in the company of others made her lose heart, all the more so since she didn’t know Bertlef, and Dr. Skreta usually treated her with friendly but obvious indifference.
Bertlef quickly made her forget her shyness. He introduced himself with a deep bow and chided Dr. Skreta for not having acquainted him sooner with such an interesting woman.
Skreta responded that Jakub had asked him to look after the young woman, and he had deliberately refrained from introducing her to Bertlef because he knew that no woman could resist him.
Bertlef greeted this excuse with a satisfied smile. Then he picked up the telephone receiver to order dinner.
“It’s incredible,” said Dr. Skreta, “how our friend manages to live affluently in this hole where there’s not a single restaurant that serves a decent meal.”
Bertlef dug his hand into