ENDLESS: A Less Than Zero Rockstar Romance: Book 1: Ty & Zoey

guitar down and pulled her toward me, taking her hand in mine. “Not everyone is as lucky as you are to have such great parents. I don’t want you to ever meet my mom. She’s an addict. Sex, drinking, drugs, you name it.”
“What? Where’s your dad?” Zoey asked, her eyes filling with tears. Her reaction was expected and while it made me feel ashamed to explain my family secrets, she truly cared for me. I had never been able to confide in anyone and I felt safe with her. But it was hard for me to open up about my life.
“Um. God, I don’t ever talk about this.” I took a deep breath. “Okay. My mom’s name is Jada. She got pregnant with me super young. I think maybe fifteen or sixteen. I don’t know who my father is. My mom doesn’t even know, she jokes all the time that there are multiple possibilities.”
“Oh.” Zoey gripped my hand in hers and squeezed, trying to hide her shock.
“Please don’t feel sorry for me, Zoey.” I furrowed my brow. Zoey was the first person who knew me as the man I was now, not the loser I had been. I didn’t want to ruin things by telling her about my fucked-up family. Or lack thereof.
“Ty, you know everything about me,” Zoey encouraged, still stroking my hair. “I don’t feel sorry for you, I want to know you. All of you. Sometimes it feels like you hold things back to protect me. You don’t need to do that.”
I laid back on Zoey’s bed, closed my eyes, and sighed. Zoey pressed herself against me, snuggling into my side, stroking the three small scars on my eyebrow. It was getting really hard not to want to ravage my sweet girl when I’d feel the swell of her ample breasts pressed against my chest. She was a virgin though, and I had so little experience. I was terrified of being a disappointment to her. Swallowing deep and pushing all of my sexual frustration aside, I knew that if things were going to move to the next level, I’d have to take a chance and truly let her in.
So, I said the very last thing I ever expected to confess. “Well, first off, my last name isn’t Rainier.”
She was stunned. “What?”
“Well, I mean it is now.” I arched my eyebrow. “I’ve never told this to another person, not Carter, not the band.”
“I don’t understand.” Zoey played with my fingers, encouraging me to continue.
“My mom’s last name is Rogers, and so was mine until I was eighteen. During my nerd phase I met Zane, when he asked me my name I said, ‘Rainier.’ When I turned eighteen, I didn’t want to be a liar, so I had it legally changed.”
“Why? I mean, Tyson Rainier is a great name, but Rogers isn’t so bad.” Zoey seemed intrigued. “Why did you lie to him in the first place?”
“I guess I just wanted to be someone different. Someone that was anyone but me. My first thought was of Mt. Rainier. It’s so majestic, so beautiful, so powerful. That’s who I wanted to be, so I just blurted it out when Zane asked my name. Since that moment it’s who I’ve aspired to become. In some ways, it’s what helped get me past my shit. That name change.” I looked out Zoey’s window, the summer sun high in the sky.
“You were manifesting the man you wanted to be.” Zoey’s fingers squeezed mine more tightly.
“I guess so.” I could feel my cheeks redden and, feeling shy, lowered my eyes to look at Zoey and gauge her reaction.
“And no one knows? How is that possible?” Zoey carefully brushed the hair out of my eyes again, I loved how she always did that. The time I had with her was the best part of my day, it was impossible for me to imagine my life before she was in it. I didn’t want to.
“You’re the only person I want to know.”
“Wow. I’m blown away. My lips are sealed.” Zoey made a zipping motion with her fingers to her lips. “I’m so touched that you would trust me with this.”
“I do trust you, butterfly.”
That was because she made me feel so safe, and I’d never felt safe before.
“So, you were telling me about your mom?” Zoey prompted after a few minutes of silence.
“Right. Well, my mom used to be very beautiful, and I have some memories where we’d actually have fun. She’d take me to the zoo or the beach.” I smiled, recalling when she’d tried to be a real mother to me. “She bartended at some high-end bar. At night I’d go to work with her, and she’d let me sit in a booth to color or do my homework.”
Zoey was rapt with attention. I’d never had anyone so acutely interested in me, which made me feel worthy and loved when I’d never felt that before.
My mind exploded. It was so hard to comprehend feeling safe, worthy and loved all at the same time. All because I had the courage to put myself out there with this goddess of a woman. She was the one who made me feel all of these things.
I loved her. I fucking loved her.
“I really don’t know when it happened, it was so gradual. Maybe I was too young to notice, but it’s as if my mom evaporated right in front of me. When she was home, she’d act crazy and irrational,” I continued, still baffled at the realization that I was in love. “It was confusing. She’d either be yelling and screaming at me or begging for hugs. Mostly, she ignored me altogether.”
To her credit, Zoey didn’t interrupt me. She just petted my hair and kept listening.
“Eventually, her erratic behavior got her fired and it went further downhill from there. She’d leave me alone for days at a time and I’d try to fend for myself. When she was home, she was drunk or high, maybe both, and often