Let's Make a Deal (Bob and Nikki Book 11)
weapons back when you are ready to leave.”Ambassador Dressi said, “You are still sucking wind. That is a testament to the patience of our host. If I were you, I wouldn’t push my luck.”
I said, “Well, we might as well head up to the ready room, and get this party started.”
Nikki said, “I think I’ll pass on this one, Bob. I’ve got some things I need to check on.”
“See you after, then.” I thought that was a bit odd, but I figured she would find a way to let me in on it, when I needed to know, so I didn’t worry too much. We all got in a transit, and headed to the meeting. One of the Squirrels asked, “You expect us to negotiate with females?”
“No. I expect you to whine, moan, and complain, no matter what I might do to cater to your whims. I don’t see any profit in making the effort.” Beatriz giggled. The Squirrel asked, “What do you find so funny?”
“The way the Captain shuts down your every effort to sabotage these negotiations. I didn’t realize he was quite as good as all that.”
He said, “Well, I never!” The Ambassador replied, “You should try it sometime, if you can get a woman drunk enough. It’s very relaxing.” We tried, really we did. Dee let our side down. When she giggled, it was over for all us humans. There were a few seconds I don’t think any one of us was moving air. When I had gotten my composure back, I held out my hand, and the Ambassador gave me five. Things were fine, until Beatriz spoke up. “Ambassador, are you sure a woman could get drunk enough to be with him, and still be able?”
I thought the butt of the joke was going to stroke out, right then and there, but his buddy managed to cool him off. I told Beatriz, “Careful, I think you almost hurt him that time.”
“Sorry, Commodore. I will try and maintain decorum.”
“I had a fella try to sell me a car once, with worn-out carpet, and steel showing on the pedals. He claimed it had low miles. He was more believable than you.”
“Busted. This would be so easy if we could talk to the Ambassador without these two around. We all want the same thing. Peace, and free trade. What’s so scary about that?”
I replied, “Free trade in walnuts means his buddies in the cartel don’t get to charge their outrageous prices anymore, so they won’t be able to buy politicians like him by the bushel basket any longer.”
Dee asked, “You think this fine specimen is on the take?”
I said, “You’ve had Steve’s training. Ask him.”
Dee turned to the fellow in question. “Do you take money from the walnut brokers, to influence government policy?” He lit up like a Christmas tree. She turned to his partner. “And you?” Another lucky winner. The Ambassador asked, “I probably am happier not knowing, but what just happened?”
Dee said, “Our people have a technique called cold reading. One of our Captains is very good at it, and has trained us in its use. With it, we can tell when a person is lying. We were shocked to learn that it works across species, but it is just as effective with your people as ours. Perhaps more so, since your people aren’t in the habit of hiding their emotions.”
“I don’t suppose that course would be something you would be willing to trade?”
Beatriz said, “It all depends on what you have to exchange, Ambassador.” The transit opened, and we walked across to the ready room. Once we were all inside, I said, “Gene, tile the lodge, if you would. Please make a secure recording of the proceedings. Ambassador, is there somewhere on your ship you would like this meeting to be streamed to?”
“No, thank you. I would like a copy of the recording, if I might.”
Gene replied, “Of course. We’ve studied enough of your ships to transfer it to a protocol your equipment can read.” One of Natti’s minders asked, “How did you come to study our ships?”
I replied, “We capture them, have a good look, and give them back, unless they have tricky demolition charges set. Then we just blow them out of our sky, and save ourselves the trouble. After we get the crew off, of course.”
“But you don’t send all the crew back, do you?”
“We’ve had a couple of people decide they would rather stay with us than go back, yes. Is that a problem?”
“Yes, it is. We demand their return.”
“Sorry, they made a free choice to stay here. I will honor that choice.”
The Ambassador said, “You won’t get anywhere trying to get him to turn his people over to you. He’s not the kind of Captain you are used to dealing with.”
The minder asked, “What do you mean? His price is higher?”
The Ambassador replied, “Be careful with that kind of talk. I can get us an agreement, but not if you keep trying to insult our host.”
I said, “Don’t you see, Ambassador? That’s exactly why he is here. His bosses don’t want a treaty, and he is here to do whatever he can to keep it from happening. Apparently, they think by killing me they could cause enough offense to cause the negotiations to collapse. Failing that, he is going to sit here and be a little bitch about every subject that comes up.” Dee had been watching his face, and said, “You hit the nail on the head that time, Bob. He didn’t disagree with a single word.”
Ambassador Dressi said, “That is inconvenient. How do you propose to proceed?”
I replied, “My preference would be to send the pair of them out for a walk, but that would cause you difficulties when you get back.”
The minder asked, “What does he