The Halcyon Fairy Book

casket.”
Do those people who get really into their real doll thingies and talk to them and claim they’re married ever take them to meet their mothers? Does Mom have to sit through dinner with the real doll at the table? That’s sort of what I’m picturing here. “Oh, sure, yeah, I’ll take care of your uh, “wife.” I’m sure we’ll ... um ... have a fine time. Yes. You go fight your war, dear. Damn, these bottles do not last as long as they used to, do they?”
He wept several days at being obliged to abandon this treasure of his, but there was no help for it, he had to go. After his departure he did nothing but commend his wife (so he called her) to his mother in his letters.
“Oh look, another letter from Junior. Majordomo! Send me up another bottle of the red. And the white. And those little butter cookies I like.”
Let us return to the mother, who no longer thought about the matter, not even to have the casket dusted; but all at once there came a letter which informed her that the king had been victorious, and should return to his palace in a few days. The mother called the chambermaids, and said to them, “Girls, we are ruined.”
They replied, “Why, Highness?”
“Because my son will be back in a few days, and how have we taken care of the doll?”
“In retrospect, using it for target practice was ill-advised.”
They answered, “True, true; now let us go and wash the doll’s face.”
They went to the king’s room and saw that the doll’s face and hands were covered with dust and fly specks, so they took a sponge and washed her face, but some drops of water fell on her dress and spotted it.
Apparently this was not a tightly sealed crystal casket, if the flies got in. Also, eww.
The poor chambermaids began to weep, and went to the queen for advice.
“You better have brought wine, girls. Momma’s going through a rough patch on the family front.”
The queen said, “Do you know what to do! Call a tailoress, and have a dress precisely like this bought, and take off this one before my son comes.”
This is the fairy tale equivalent of buying an identical goldfish.
They did so, and the chambermaids went to the room and began to unbutton the dress. The moment that they took off the first sleeve, Ermellina opened her eyes. The poor chambermaids sprang up in terror, but one of the most courageous said, “I am a woman, and so is this one; she will not eat me.”
She clearly hasn’t been reading enough fairy tales!
To cut the matter short, she took off the dress, and when it was removed Ermellina began to get out of the casket to walk about and see where she was. The chambermaids fell on their knees before her and begged her to tell them who she was. She, poor girl, told them the whole story. Then she said, “I wish to know where I am.”
Then the chambermaids called the king’s mother to explain it to her. The mother did not fail to tell her everything, and she, poor girl, did nothing but weep penitently, thinking of what the fairies had done for her.
Well, at least she’s learned from her mistakes, one hopes.
The king was on the point of arriving, and his mother said to the doll, “Come here; put on one of my best dresses.” In short, she arrayed her like a queen. Then came her son. They shut the doll up in a small room, so that she could not be seen.
The fact they’re still calling her “The doll” throws a creepy sort of light over all this.
The king came with great joy, with trumpets blowing, and banners flying for the victory. But he took no interest in all this, and ran at once to his room to see the doll; the chambermaids fell on their knees before him saying that the doll smelled so badly that they could not stay in the palace, and were obliged to bury her.
Incidentally, two of the compounds caused by the putrefaction of flesh are called “putrescine” and “cadaverine.” Which is neither here nor there, but rather interesting.
The king would not listen to this excuse, but at once called two of the palace servants to erect the gallows. His mother comforted him in vain: “My son, it was a dead woman.”
“No, no, I will not listen to any reasons; dead or alive, you should have left it for me.”
Finally, when his mother saw that he was in earnest about the gallows, she rang a little bell, and there came forth no longer the doll, but a very beautiful girl, whose like was never seen.
What I find kind of interesting here is that the queen is obviously lying to keep him from meeting this girl, and only produces her in the end in order to save the two chambermaids from being killed. I could see two reasons for this. One, she doesn’t want him to marry a total stranger with a trash-talking eagle familiar and a pathological fear of basil. This would be quite understandable. On the other hand, I like to think that maybe she realizes that anybody who moons over a maybe-a-doll-but-maybe-a-dead-body in a casket is probably not a good mate for a living woman.
On the gripping hand, maybe she plans to kill him and rule the kingdom with an iron, if somewhat drunken, fist. I would also be good with this option.
The king was amazed, and said, “What is this!”
Then his mother, the chambermaids, and Ermellina were obliged to tell him all that had happened.
Sonny, sweetie, I thought we might be able to smuggle you out of the country on eagle-back. Instead you’re gonna have to stick around. Let me pour you some wine...
He said, “Mother, since I adored her when dead, and called her my wife, now I mean her to be my wife in truth.”
“Yes, my son,” replied his mother,