The Halcyon Fairy Book

come and try on the shoe.
“Do not make fun of me,” she says.
However she went down, and when the prince saw her, he knew the shoe was hers, and said to her, “Do you try on the shoe.”
And with the greatest ease she put it on, and it fitted her. Then said the prince to her, “I will take you to wife.”
“Do not make fun of me,” she answered, “so may your youth be happy!”
“Nay, but I will marry you,” said he, and he took her and made her his wife.
Then she put on her fairest robes. When a little child was born to her, the sisters came to see it. And when she was helpless and alone they took her and put her into a chest, and carried her off and threw her into a river, and the river cast her forth upon a desert.
Danae? Is that you?
There was a half-witted old woman there, and when she saw the chest, she thought to cut it up [for firewood] and took it away for that purpose. And when she had broken it open, and saw someone alive in it, she got up and made off.
So the princess was left alone, and heard the wolves howling, and the swine and the lions —
I will admit that wild swine can be rather dangerous, but I have to think that if you have wolves and lions, the swine are maybe just as nervous as you are.
— and she sat and wept and prayed to God, “Oh God, give me a little hole in the ground that I may hide my head in it, and not hear the wild beasts,” and he gave her one.
Is it just me, or is this essentially, “Oh god, make me an ostrich!”
Again she said, “Oh God, give me one a little larger, that I may get in up to my waist.”
And he gave her one. And she besought him again a third time, and he gave her a cabin with all that she wanted in it and there she dwelt, and whatever she said, her bidding was done forthwith.
Hole … slightly bigger hole … enchanted cabin that responds to voice commands! Either holes were much nicer back then, or this escalated REALLY quickly. Then again, maybe God was just annoyed by all that beating around the bush.
GOD: Stop asking! Just tell me what you want the first time! I AM A BUSY DEITY!
For instance, when she wanted to eat, she would say, “Come, table with all that is wanted! Come food! Come spoons and forks, and all things needful,” and straightway they all got ready, and when she finished she would ask, “Are you all there?” and they would answer, “We are.”
Useful if you worry that you’ve swallowed a fork.
One day the prince came into the wilderness to hunt, and seeing the cabin he went to find out who was inside; and when he got there he knocked at the door.
And she saw him and knew him from afar, and said, “Who is knocking at the door?”
“It is I, let me in,” said he.
“Open, doors!” said she, and in a twinkling the doors opened and he entered. He went upstairs and found her seated on a chair.
“Good day to you,” said he.
“Welcome!” said she, and straightway all that was in the room cried out, “Welcome!”
Nothin’ creepy about that at all. I’m sure the prince wasn’t unsettled in the slightest.
“Come chair!” she cried, and one came at once.
“Sit down,” she said to him and down he sat. And when she had asked him the reason of his coming, she bade him stay and dine, and afterward depart.
He agreed, and straightway she gave her orders: “Come table with all the covers,” and forthwith they presented themselves, and he was sore amazed.
“Come basin,” she cried. “Come jug, pour water for us to wash! Come food in ten courses!” and immediately all that she ordered made its appearance.
Were I somewhat younger, I might picture the singing table service in Beauty and the Beast, but being me, I just went straight to PeeWee’s Playhouse.
Afterwards when the meal was ended, the prince tried to hide a spoon, and put it into his shoe; and when they rose from table, she said “Table, have you all your covers?”
“Yes, I have.”
“Spoons, are you all there?”
“All,” they said, except one which said “I am in the prince’s shoe.”
When confronted with singing silverware, I know my first instinct is always to cram it into my boots.
Then she cried again, as though she had not heard, “Are you all there, spoons and forks?”
And as soon as the prince heard her he got rid of it on the sly and blushed.
And she said to him “Why did you blush? Don’t be afraid. I am your wife.”
I have learned to accept your minor bouts of kleptomania as normal.
Then she told him how she got there and how she fared. And they hugged and kissed each other, and she ordered the house to move and it did move. And when they came near the town all the world came out to see them. Then the prince gave orders for his wife’s sisters to be brought before him, and they brought them and he hewed them in pieces. And so hence forward they lived happily, and may we live more happily still.
Short and to the point, although I do like that ending vs. “happily ever after.”
Conkiajgharuna, the Little Rag Girl
THERE was and there was not, there was a miserable peasant.
Now that’s a marvelous opening. Okay, not as rapid as the cannibalism, but still elegantly phrased.
He had a wife and a little daughter. So poor was this peasant that his daughter was called Conkiajgharuna (Little Rag Girl).
Some time passed, and his wife died. He was unhappy before, but now a greater misfortune had befallen him. He grieved and grieved, and at last he said to himself, “I will go and take another wife; she will mind the house, and tend my orphan child.” So