Heartbreak Boys

person knows what to do.
Dylan is staring back at me.
Nate is staring back at me.
I glance down at Tariq.
He’s got his head in his hands.
“OK, this is some weird, messed-up shit you’ve got going on in your head, Jack. And this isn’t the time—”
“Answer the question.”
“I don’t have to ‘answer the question’ because the question is offensive.”
“You’re not gonna answer the question?”
“That’s right, I’m not.”
“Then let’s ask Tariq,” I say.
And all eyes turn to him, where he’s still crouched on the floor, head in his hands. He slowly stands up, and sweeter, kinder, and less able to lie than Dylan, his face says it all.
“Say it, Tariq,” I say.
“Just ignore him,” Dylan says.
“Tariq?” Nate mutters. “What’s…” He makes a little gasp that’s half a nervous chuckle.
Tariq’s face is stony. He knows he’s screwed up. “Nate, maybe we should—”
“Just say it’s not true!” Nate says, voice wobbling. “That’s all you have to say. If it isn’t true, if it’s just Jack talking crap, you just have to say it!” He looks pleadingly at Tariq. “Please,” he mutters.
But Tariq gazes at Nate with this huge sadness in his eyes, like the game is well and truly up.
“Fucking hell,” Dylan mutters.
Nate’s shaking now. “No…”
Tariq is speechless.
I catch Chloe Kendall’s eye and she has this smug look on her face of “I told you so!” It kills me how she managed to be right about this.
“No,” Nate says. “Please. No.” He starts crying, tears streaming down his cheeks. All the years we haven’t spoken don’t matter in that moment. I move towards him – he needs someone, and no one else is gonna do it.
“Get off me!” he screams as I reach for his shoulder.
There’s this second where he just stares out at the shocked crowd, his face a red, blotchy, wet mess.
And then he runs, jumps off the front of the stage, trips on his trousers, which are way too long, staggers forward and collides directly with the Demogorgon, ramming it with his shoulder so the whole thing wobbles. Nate turns, trying to push his way through the crowd, and then there are screams as the Demogorgon falls, straight down on to Nate, who collapses under its open petal-like head.
It’s chaos.
More screaming.
Nate scrambling out from underneath the thing.
I see him charge for the exit.
He doesn’t look back.

CHAPTER SIX
NATE
•Come out to whole year.
•Discover boyfriend has been cheating you, live onstage.
•Get attacked by Demogorgon.
Seriously. FML.
I shouldn’t have come out.
I shouldn’t have told everyone.
I shouldn’t have been all “look at me” like I had anything to be proud of.
This is my comeuppance for being a little bit happy.
Of course this was how it was going to end.
*
It’s been twenty-four hours. I’m lying on my bed, staring up at the ceiling, wearing the same grey jogging shorts and white T-shirt I collapsed into after I got home last night. My eyes are tired and sore from no sleep and too much crying, and my hair’s sticking up in random tufts. If I was capable of growing facial hair I would definitely have stubble. I mean, I look like absolute crap, but I don’t even care.
There were no clues. No signs. Or if there were, I didn’t spot them. I don’t understand how long things had been going on between Tariq and Dylan. I don’t understand how it first happened, who contacted who, who made the first move. I don’t understand why he didn’t tell me, why he acted like he wanted me and him to be a visible couple around school if he was getting with Dylan anyway. I don’t understand how someone as nice as Tariq could do this to me.
I don’t understand how I didn’t realize I wasn’t good enough for him.
I’m so empty. So humiliated. When I got in last night, I threw my mobile on the kitchen table and left it there. I don’t want to face anyone. I don’t want their questions, or their sympathy. How could I feel something was so right, yet get it so wrong?
“Nate?” It’s my dad, from the other side of my bedroom door. “What are you doing in there?”
“Shutting myself off from the whole of humanity.”
“Your mobile’s downstairs.”
“I know.”
“It’s bleeping a lot.”
I take a deep breath. “I’m sure.”
“Can I come in?”
I stay silent and hope he takes the hint.
Of course, he doesn’t. “So, your mum heard on the grapevine that something happened last night?” he shouts through the closed door.
“What grapevine’s that?”
“Linda at number fifty-five.”
Who else?
“Apparently you and Tariq had some cross words?”
I have to laugh because that’s beyond an understatement.
“These things happen sometimes,” Dad prattles on. “Misunderstandings and so on, maybe you two can—”
I’m over at the door in a flash and fling it open. “He’s been cheating on me, Dad! He’s seeing some other boy!” I scream in his surprised face. “I really liked him, I thought he liked me, and all along he’s been— All along he was, he—” And I can’t go on because I’m crying again. “Just go,” I manage to mutter.
Instead, Dad wraps his arms around me, I bury my face in his shoulder, and he holds me tight while I sob for what feels like hours.
Eventually, he helps me back over to my bed, and we both sit down.
“Sorry,” I say.
“I’m sorry too,” he replies. “I know it probably doesn’t feel like it right now, but you’ll be OK. Reminds me of a similar thing that happened to me at your age. Me and Debs McClintock.” He sighs wistfully. “Ruined me, that girl did.”
“Life has shat on me big-time,” I say.
“Well, I know what that feels like.”
I glance at him, and his eyes say it all. His job. His best mate. Of course he knows how it feels, and I know he’s had it worse than I have, even though, right now, I feel like I’m going through absolute hell. “I know, Dad. It’s just … how do you carry on? When you feel this empty, and stupid, and … how do you do it?”
He shrugs. “One minute