Die Alone

could have passed for close to a decade younger than her forty-one years which, given some of the things she’d been through over the years, was pretty impressive.
I glanced over my shoulder to check that the street behind us was empty.
‘Don’t worry,’ she said, ‘I wasn’t followed. The police were in touch with me just after you got broken out of prison, but they’ve left me alone since then. I’d know if I was under surveillance.’
‘I know. I guess I’m just paranoid.’
We came to the end of the street and she pulled into a parking bay in the shade of an oak tree and looked at me properly for the first time. There was concern in her expression but also a certain wariness. ‘So what happened, Ray? Did you organize the escape? It looks like the men who sprung you must be good cooks. You’ve put on weight.’
‘They were,’ I said. ‘But I didn’t ask them to spring me.’ I told her briefly what had happened from beginning to end.
She didn’t interrupt me, or look sceptical, and I knew she believed my story.
‘Do you think they’re really security services?’ she asked when I’d finished. ‘I know they do some dodgy things, but springing you from jail and getting you to murder one of the most prominent politicians in the country is a pretty big thing.’
‘They may not be working for the security services but they’ve gone to a lot of trouble, and they definitely want Sheridan dead. Whether they want me walking away from the hit afterwards, well, that’s another matter.’
‘But how do they know you’re actually going to carry out the hit? They’re not exactly keeping strong tabs on you, and relying on a bug that you’ve managed to remove on your own seems a bit weak.’
I thought about this. ‘They know I hate Sheridan for what he’s done, so they figure I’ve got the incentive to kill him anyway, and that the prospect of money and a new passport will be enough to seal the deal. You’ve got to remember, they’ve treated me well these past two weeks, and their argument for letting me go is a sound one. So why wouldn’t I trust them?’
‘But you don’t.’
‘No. I don’t.’
‘So why don’t you run then? You must be able to access some money somewhere. You’ve always been a resourceful guy.’
‘I can probably make it. But I’m going to kill Sheridan first. He deserves it. And don’t forget, I made a promise to the Brennans that I’d bring their daughter’s killer to justice.’
The promise. It would forever be a millstone round my neck. When thirteen-year-old Dana’s remains had been found in the school grounds the previous year, almost three decades after she’d gone missing, I’d been the detective sent to tell her parents what had happened. To my dying day, I will never forget the terrible pain they were still experiencing as they spoke to me of their long-gone daughter. And somehow, in that room, I’d taken on some of their pain and had made the biggest mistake any detective can make: I’d become emotionally involved in one of my cases. And it had come close to killing me.
Yet strangely, even after all that had happened to me, I didn’t regret making that promise. In fact it hardened my resolve to kill Alastair Sheridan.
‘You’re a man of your word, Ray,’ said Tina. ‘Most of the time that’s a good thing.’
‘But not now?’
Tina sighed. ‘The thought of a man like Sheridan in power scares the hell out of me.’ She looked at me, and I could see concern in her expression. ‘But no, I don’t think you should try to kill him. You’ve suffered enough. And you’re right not to trust these people. Killing Sheridan is a major assassination. They can’t let you survive that. So save yourself, Ray. Go off grid, lie low for a bit longer, then disappear, start a new life somewhere. I’ve seen it done before.’
I smiled. It was good to talk to her again. She knew how our world worked.
‘Did you manage to bring the stuff I asked for?’
‘Yup. It’s all in the glove compartment. A big wedge of currency and a burner phone. It’s a cheap Huawei but it’s got smartphone capabilities, and a pre-paid sim with fifty megs’ worth of data on it, so you can get limited internet access. It’s untraceable back to me but try not to get caught with it.’
I reached inside and pulled them both out. I’d given the money – €10,000 and £5,000 in cash – to Tina for safekeeping not long after we’d started seeing each other over a year ago. I’d stashed even more cash in my old flat in Fulham as well as a storage unit in Clapham, but I couldn’t access any of that now. There was a good reason for my hoarding large quantities of mixed currency. Believe it or not, the current half-a-million-pound bounty on my head wasn’t the first time a price had been put on my life. Two years earlier, a wealthy Arab businessman, whose brother had died during an operation I’d been part of during my army days, had hired a freelance operative to kill everyone involved in the op, including me. The killer had failed, but the experience had left me paranoid that I might one day have to disappear in a hurry.
‘I didn’t spend any of it,’ said Tina as I opened the envelope and peeked inside before putting it in my jacket pocket along with the smartphone.
I sighed. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t want to involve you in any of this.’
‘I’ve been involved from the start, Ray. Remember?’ There was an edge to her voice, and she seemed agitated. ‘Why did you stop me from visiting you when you got sent down? You know I wanted to.’
‘I couldn’t face seeing you when I was behind bars. I thought a clean break would be best for both of us. I was facing life in prison. I still am. But