From Mourning to Joy

dream when the time comes.”
Janelle’s shoulders stiffened and she fought to remain in control. “Well, I just wanted you to know that I am a survivor, and you don’t need to feel obliged to me or Davey. It pains me to see you under such stress on my account.”
Bernie pivoted to stare at Janelle. “When I see your stubbornness, I remember my mother, and the whole mess muddles my brain. Ma didn’t want my help and it appears neither do you. So, I won’t be sticking around to watch the likes of Sam Spalding subdue your free spirit and mold you into yet another defeated woman.” He turned away. “Suppose I’ve made a career of drifting now, so I’ll honor our agreement and be out of your hair come spring.”
Silence followed. All he wanted to hear was the slightest hope that she wanted him to stay for more than just the work he could offer. But no words disturbed the frigid air, He grabbed the peeler and dug a deep gash into the chunk of cedar. Before long Bernie heard the swish of her dress as she moved back through the woods toward the house.

Chapter 8
A week passed and Janelle and Bernie remained polite to one another but heaviness hung around his neck like a ball and chain. After downing a breakfast of pork sausages, fried potatoes, grits and gravy, Bernie threw on his coat and boots and went outside without a word. Davey raced out of the house close behind and was out of breath when he caught up.
“Today’s Ma’s birthday. Mr. Stewart wanted me to tell ya that your order came in. Him and the Mrs. are coming out this afternoon with a cake to help us celebrate. I’m itching to sing happy birthday, but I want Ma to think I forgot so she’ll be really surprised when we all come in later.”
With all the ruckus of late, Bernie had forgotten about her birthday. He ruffled the top of the boy’s head. “You have a good time.”
“You gotta come, Mr. B. You bought her the dress material and I wrapped it all pretty with a bow.”
“Sign it from you, Davey. I know you love to make your mother happy.”
“But I want you to be there! You and Ma are acting like strangers when you were the one who saved our lives. I don’t want you to be a stranger.”
“Don’t let big people problems get you down, boy.”
Tears erupted from the youngster as he spit out the final words before racing back to the cabin. “I want you to love us, Mr. B, just like I love you.”
And there it was – his mother’s worst nightmare. He’d hurt the boy when he pulled out. Janelle had been wise to guard against the bonding. But the boy was so easy to love and Bernie did have strong feeling for the lad, as strong as if he were his own flesh and blood.
He sighed as he studied the project that he’d been working long hours to complete. The occupants were arriving today so this morning took on a new urgency. Two good laying hens to start and four meat chickens that hopefully would get bored and give them a batch of chicks in the spring. Inside the hen house he placed two rectangle shelves along each side with smaller slanted rails up the wall for the hens to roost on. On a lower second shelf he stretched a welcoming layer of straw for them to nestle in and lay those delicious eggs his mouth craved. A shorter door was cut into the bigger door that allowed the birds to enter and exit at will. This provided freedom to roam at will during the daytime hours in the summer but could be slid closed at night to keep wild animals from sneaking in to steal a free meal. Eventually, they’d have their own fenced in yard, once the spring rains softened the earth so he could dig. Spring – he’d have to complete that job before pulling out.
In the second freestanding building a short distance from the barn was the new hog pen. He couldn’t wait to move the noisy pair over once the ground thawed and he could hammer those cedar posts in the ground to make a yard for them to parade around in. To his way of thinking, the critters had attitude. He endured their cantankerous ways for the sole joy of seeing them fried up on his dinner plate someday.
Upon hearing the boy’s heartfelt remark and seeing his solemn face at lunch, Bernie knew he couldn’t disappoint the lad. He winked at him on the way out of the kitchen and headed for the barn to clean up. Davey was on his heels.
“Did ya decide to come?” his feet danced on the floor as he watched Bernie change into clean clothes.
“Why else would I be dressing up in the middle of the day?”
“Ma doesn’t suspect a thing. She thinks I’m moping around because I don’t hang out with you so much lately. And that would be the honest to goodness truth. I sure miss all those stories, and holding the wood in place so you can hammer.”
“I never told you to stay away. Thought you were busy with lessons now that you’re back in school.” He smiled at the boy. “How’s your Ma’s job going? She doesn’t talk about it much.”
“Think she’d rather be in her own kitchen but she smiles when she puts her wages in the cup at night and says the coins make the sacrifice all worthwhile.”
“Do you reckon she’ll like the new tenants moving into the out buildings today?”
“There’s new folks moving in?” asked Davey, all wide-eyed and interested.
“You said the storekeeper was bringing my order, right?”
“Yes sir. What did you order?”
Bernie