Annaka

and I know it wasn’t always your choice that you couldn’t come visit. But I can’t be your best friend right now. I can’t pretend that I’m suddenly okay with you…because I’m not.”
Without another word, he handed me the journal. I looked at it then closed my eyes.
“Clay, I’m sorr—” I opened my eyes, but he was already gone.
I put the journal back in the glove compartment and made my way to my bedroom. I tossed and turned and couldn’t stop thinking about all the people I had let down. Clay, Grampy, Nan. I should have put in more effort to see them all, to stay in touch. There was only one relationship I could fix, and he’d just disappeared before my eyes. I had a lot to own up to.

Chapter 7
“Earth to Anna.” Tia waved her hand in front of my face one afternoon in the school cafeteria.
It was about two weeks since I’d spoken to Clay. Mom got me enrolled into school pretty quickly so I would finish grade eleven on time. I hated it. I was the most popular student in school the first week. Everyone sent their condolences my way. I guess everyone loved my grandfather—or Mr. Brooks, as he was referred to here. There was a large photo of him placed in the lobby, and every morning I had to walk by it. It was heartbreaking. A place where he spent so much time, and I swear it still had his scent. Around Tia and I were Lucy, Laura, and Taylor. We were the crew, before I left Yarmouth. Now they were more Tia’s crew, and I kind of felt like her plus-one more than anything else.
“Anna!” Tia cut into my thoughts again.
“Yeah, what’s up?” I finally said.
“Dude. You haven’t even touched your food. Are you okay?”
I looked down to cold soup, a sandwich, and mucky potato salad. I hadn’t had much of an appetite for the last little while.
“I’m not too hungry today.”
Tia looked at me. “You’ve been saying that the last two days. At least try to eat something.”
Lucy and Taylor looked over while Laura was studying for the bio quiz.
“To be fair, cafeteria food doesn’t make me the hungriest, either,” Lucy said with a laugh while eating some homemade biscuits she brought.
“Yeah, well not everyone’s mother owns a bakery,” Taylor replied.
“Maybe I’ll eat something later.” I got up from my seat and stretched.
“Where you going?” Tia asked with a concerned look on her face.
“I just need to go for a walk.” I let out a breath.
“All right. Well…text me if you need me.” Tia seemed worried.
I made my way out of the cafeteria and walked down the main hall of the school. I walked past Grampy’s old classroom, room 409.
The door was full of sticky notes:
Love you Mr. Brooks. RIP.
Rest in Peace Mr. Brooks ☹
Safe travels to the best teacher I ever had
I couldn’t bring myself to step inside. I think I would have burst into tears. I was happy to know he had brought so much joy to so many students—that helped, I guess.
I continued down the hall to where his photo was. He had a big smile on his face, dressed up in a suit. His school board photo. Around it students and staff had placed flowers and notes, just like outside his classroom.
“Hello, Miss Brooks,” I heard a soft voice say behind me.
I turned to see a tall black woman. It was Ms. Anderson, the principal. She had introduced herself to me on my first day. She told me Grampy had been one of her favourite teachers, and she was one of the reasons I was squeezed into the school during the spring.
“How has Yarmouth High been treating you thus far?”
“Hey, Ms. Anderson,” I greeted. “It’s been a change of pace for sure. I went to Citadel High in Halifax, so most of the time I could barely break away from the crowds of students.” I laughed.
“Well, I’m glad you’re finding the transition comfortable.” She smiled.
I wouldn’t have used the word “comfortable,” but at least I hadn’t broken down in public yet.
“Thank you,” I replied.
“Are you off to class?” Ms. Anderson asked. “Lunch ends in about five minutes.”
Shit. Truth be told, I was planning to ditch school and go on a ride.
“Yeah,” I said. “I was just going to grab my textbook from my truck.”
“All right. Well move along, young lady,” she said, nodding.
Good save on my end. I walked out the front door and made my way to the parking lot.
I hopped inside the truck and put the keys in, but before I could put it in reverse something made me stop. I sighed and opened the glove compartment to look at the journal. I hadn’t tried speaking to Clay at all over the last two weeks, but I flipped through the pages. I hoped he would maybe come out and say something. I began looking through old entries and pictures I had drawn of him and me sitting in our tree house pretending it was a lighthouse. I laughed at the thought.
Before I could open my mouth to ask if he would come out, I heard a knock on my window and jumped.
“Holy crap!”
There stood some white boy wearing camo pants, a football jersey, and a goofy baseball cap.
I rolled the window down. “Can I help you?”
“Hey. Uh, hi. You’re Annaka, right?”
“The name’s Anna. What do you want?”
“Sorry. I don’t know if you remember me. I’m Bobby Noah? We went to elementary together.”
“Ha,” I laughed, remembering that Tia had kicked him in the balls and said she hoped he got kidney stones. Bobby was the guy who had made fun of my name in primary, too, but he was the one with two first names. Idiot.
“Yeah, you were the kid who had two first names.”
“Yeah. Double the trouble.” He smiled.
What a dumb thing to say, I thought.
“Hey, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry about your grandfather. He was an awesome teacher. Honestly, he should