Where We Meet Again

onto my heart next to all the other marks from leaving him in the first place.
“Law, I-ˮ.
He leans in. “Lawrence,” he spits.
“L-Lawrence.” The tremble in my voice vibrates the surrounding air. His name feels foreign on my tongue, having not spoken it aloud in a decade and a half. “I’m sorry for what I did. But I have to go.”
As I push through the door, I long for him to chase after me. He just stands there, the love of my past, glaring at me as if he wishes I was dead.
I feel withered and decayed inside.
So much so, even the rain slapping against my scalp when I forget to open my umbrella does nothing to pull me out of my trance. I’m halfway down the next block before I realize I’m soaked from the rain and finally open the stupid thing.
“Hey, where’s my coffee?” Kiersten asks as I trudge into the office building where the meeting takes place.
I lift my empty hands to my face, staring unseeing beyond their wrinkled texture, and drop them limp at my sides.
“Oh, shit, what happened?”
I clear my throat before I’m able to force the words to squeeze passed. Even then, they sound hoarse. “I need you to drive me home. I’d walk, but I’m freezing. I can’t go to this meeting.”
Kiersten tilts her head, concern etched into her features. “You shouldn’t miss it. They might not give you a second chance to present the info again, and you’ve worked so hard on this.”
“They’ll eat me alive!” I screech, and Kiersten retreats a step. “Not like this, I can’t. I don’t have a chance. You’re the only person I have that can take me home. If you won’t do it, I’ll walk, but it’s still pouring.” I rub a wet hand across my forehead as more tears clog my throat. “I’d like to have some time alone because come four o’clock, my girl will be home from school, and I can’t let her see her momma like this.”
She gathers her coat and nabs her keys from her top drawer. “Okay.” She presses the keys into my palm and curls my limp fingers around them. “Go start the car, and I’ll call Mr. Ross to tell him you’re sick. You owe me. This means I have to miss my lunch break.”
“Thank you.” My voice trembles.
A fogginess settles over me as the stronger emotions wane, and I plod to the parking lot, unlock the car, and crank the ignition. Hot air blasts my numb skin. Detachment steals over me like a curse.
Kiersten contains her invasive questions on the ride back to my house. I mumble my thanks and walk myself inside by rote. After a long hot shower, the numbness thaws and the torrent of tears shatter through the barrier.
When I left home all those years ago, I didn’t allow myself to break. There wasn’t room to feel sorry for myself when I had to provide for a baby and the decision to leave was mine. Money provided an incentive, and I refused to face Law with the magnitude of my mistakes. When he found out the truth, I’d lose him anyway, and that solidified my decision. I snuck away, knowing it me a coward.
Seeing him returns all the feelings to the surface, and I’m forced to confront them.
For the first time in fourteen years, I cry for all I’ve lost. To remember the boy I once loved so unequivocally, I believed destiny brought us together.
After I finish, I’ll haul myself from my bed, clean my face, and greet my baby girl when she gets off the bus from school.
Losing Law was a consequence of the greatest mistake of my life, but I will never bring myself to regret my daughter.

2
Seventeen years earlier…
“Hey! Wait up!”
I raced my bike through the cloud of dirt Law’s tires kicked up, attempting to catch him. Tall weeds and rogue tree branches whipped against my bare legs. Rain fell from the dark gray sky, and even though I was cold and damp, a smile graced my face.
I giggled while my legs burned, and I chased after my best friend.
“You’ll have to catch up,” he shouted back and raced off again.
Pedaling uphill was difficult on normal terrain, but the once-hard packed earth turned to mud beneath my tires. The trail Law chose was in the middle of the forest, not even a real biking trail. Power lines ran overhead like trail markers, delineating the space four wheelers or snowmobiles used, depending on the time of year.
This wasn’t the first time we’d been down this path, but it was always Law’s idea, and I always lagged behind.
I didn’t mind. I’d take just about anything to spend time with Law. Besides, the trail end was close. The buzz of the busy highway replaced the sound of insects, so I knew I was almost there.
“Wait for me!” I wheezed as I sucked in giant gulps of air. Standing on the pedals, I leaned forward and gave myself one last push. I would make it. Getting off and walking wasn’t an option unless I wanted him to tease me for the rest of the summer.
Just as the bike picked up speed, the trail opened. Law stood off next to his bike, grinning at me like a jerk because he was faster and stronger, like always, and he couldn’t wait to rub it in.
“Thought you’d never get here,” he taunted, resting back against his bike and crossing his arms over his chest.
“Yeah well you–”. The words floated away on the wind when a giant rock emerged from a patch of mud. The front tire hit it dead on. The bike flipped, sending me soaring over the handlebars. Law’s shout mixed with my scream, but I couldn’t make out the words. The sound of the highway and the wind roaring passed my ears clouded everything else.
I rolled and tumbled down an incline. Every couple of turns the dark gray sky flashed above me before the brown and