Mistakes : A College Bully Romance

simple and easy again. Just me and Ash, going to school, getting into trouble on weekends. No real problems, no real stress.
Those days. Those days were long gone.
What I really wanted was to drive to see Ash. I texted her, but it was a Friday night. She didn’t respond. She’d probably respond in the morning. She was probably out at a party and I…I was back at home, watching my family fall apart, and it broke my heart.
Funny. Didn’t think my heart would ever break. I’d kept it hidden from everyone, even myself, but this? This was impossible to hide from. This was an explosion that would be felt years down the road. The family I grew up with would be no more.
I really wished I could take the rust bucket and drive back myself, but I knew I couldn’t. I’d only end up getting a ticket or towed since I had no parking permit. Unless I commuted, freshmen couldn’t have cars. Bullshit. It was fucking bullshit. It just meant I’d have to come back here if I ever managed to get Ash to agree to a visit.
Sucked ass. I didn’t want to come back here. I didn’t want to see Mom or Dad. What I wanted was the one thing I would never, ever have—a normal life. A happy life. A good life.
No, life just liked kicking me while I was down.
I made it back to the front door of the house, finding that my parents stood in the kitchen, their arms crossed. Once I came into the house, they looked relieved, though neither of them rushed to hug me. Hell, or even scold me. They simply stared at me, as if neither of them knew quite what to say.
That made three of us.
Swallowing hard, I said, “I’d like to go back to SCC.”
My mom let out a sigh, while my dad said, “I’ll take her back.” Trading off, because Mom had been the one to pick me up earlier. Well, that was that. They didn’t need to pretend anymore. Not for my benefit.
I went and grabbed my bag, also switching my shoes to my own, and left the house without telling my mom goodbye.
During the drive, Dad was quiet for a while, until he wasn’t. Until he thought it was smart to open his mouth and say, “Kelsey, I know it might come as a shock to you, but neither of us have been happy for a while now.”
I looked at him, really looked at him. Now I knew why he looked so haggard, why there were dark circles under his eyes. “Then why didn’t you get divorced years ago?” My question stung. Basically, I wanted to know why they only prolonged it. It wasn’t like waiting had helped or stopped anything.
“We thought it would be easier to do once you were out of the house.”
“Well, it’s not easier.”
“I think we realize that now,” my dad spoke dryly, tossing me a quick glance. “I don’t want you to stress about this right now. Focus on your classes—” He went on and on about how important it was for me to get a good education, for me to get a degree. Neither of them had a degree; I’d be the first Yates to get one.
I wanted to tell him, fuck the degree. Family was what was important, not money, not a good job. Without family, what did you have? Whether that family was by blood or with people you chose to bring in close to you, wasn’t that what life was supposed to be about? Money faded, jobs came and went, but family remained.
Or, at least it was supposed to.
My jaw remained clamped shut during the rest of the drive. The daylight faded, slowly becoming dark. Dad took me right to my dorm’s turnaround, and I got out of the car, ignoring him when he told me he loved me.
I didn’t feel like talking right now. Sue me.
He waved to me, and I managed a small wave back, my bag over my shoulder as I watched him drive off. I stood there for a long time, long after he was gone. Other cars pulled into the turnaround, and I ignored them, staring off into the distance.
I didn’t want to go upstairs, face Mel. With her sad puppy dog eyes, I knew I’d spill everything to her, and I didn’t want to. We were friends, roommates, yeah, but what I wanted right now, who I wanted to talk to, I couldn’t get ahold of.
God, if only Ash was here. She’d know just what to say to talk me down, pull me away from the edge I teetered on.
The fact of the matter was Ash wasn’t here. I was alone in SCC, even though that was never the plan. I felt abandoned, as stupid as it was, and it was because I felt the need to act out that I started walking away from the dorm. I even turned my phone off before sliding it back into my pocket.
SCC was a quiet campus once night fell. The buildings shut down, their inner lights off. The only lighting there was, besides the stars and the half moon, came from the light poles.
I walked for what felt like forever. The night air was crisp, and since I wore just a t-shirt and shorts, I shivered. I wasn’t cold exactly, but I could be warmer. I could crawl under a blanket and pretend the world didn’t exist. It wouldn’t be too hard.
I must’ve made it to the edge of campus, because the giant buildings eventually gave way to smaller houses, and on their faces, I spotted Greek letters. These were the fraternities and sororities. People who belonged to something, organizations that had chapters all over America. What did it feel like to belong somewhere? I wouldn’t know.