Shameless (The Therapist #2)

say, losing the will to argue with her. “I don’t know what you want from me. He dumped me because he wanted to go be with his band. He thinks he’s going to make it big, and making it big requires being single, apparently. I would think you’d have my back on this. He dumped me. He dumped your daughter. It’d be nice if one day you could just be supportive, instead of trying to make me feel worse by placing all of the blame on me.”
“I’m not your girlfriend, Tessa,” Judy fires back without hesitation. “I’m your mother, and it's my job to be honest with you, and tell you how to navigate through life. I’m older and wiser than you. I know what’s good for you, and I’m telling you if you don’t go fight for Brandon, you're going to regret it when you see him on TV in a few years. He’ll be out there spending his riches, and you’ll be here with me, filled to the brim with heartache."
At this point, all I have the energy for is a disappointed shake of my head.
“I just want what’s best for you, Tessa,” Judy repeats. “Just think about it. Do you really want to end up alone? Are you really ready to sacrifice everything so that you can be happy? No relationship is perfect. They take work. You shouldn’t just throw two years down the drain. Brandon might not be perfect, but he’s going to be successful, and you could be right there on his arm when he’s out and about, spending his millions on a brand new house for you to live in. Something tells me you'd be really happy then. Just get over yourself and think about it, Tessa. Don’t mess this up.”
With that, my mother turns on her heel and walks to the back of the clinic, leaving me at the counter with nothing but the tears I promised myself I wouldn’t shed anymore.

Chapter Ten
~ Tessa ~
The therapist’s office feels different this time. It’s bigger without Brandon next to me. I don’t feel trapped under the weight of his constant judgement, yet I feel more uncomfortable right now. Things haven’t been the same, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t affected by it all. If I wasn’t affected, I probably wouldn’t even continue these sessions, but here I am.
Dr. Malcolm Colson sits across from me with one leg crossed over the other. He’s wearing light gray pants with a white button-up accented with gray buttons that match his pants. His shoes are white with gray strings that match the buttons. He’s immaculate, and his green eyes look at me as if I’m the only person he has ever seen. He’s focused, and even without saying a word, I feel like he cares. Dr. Colson is great at making me feel like I’m his only patient and therefore the most important, even though I know he’s constantly taking on new clients. He’s great at his job, and that’s perfect because I need him to be at his best for me now.
“You’re in your head a lot today,” Dr. Colson says, speaking first. Usually he opens with questions. Even the way we begin the session is different without Brandon.
After he speaks, he pauses to wait for a response from me. He’s right, I am in my head right now, but I don’t know where to begin. This week has been like being under the foot of a giant. All the weight is crushing me, and I can barely breathe. First Brandon, then my mother and all her judgmental shit, now I’m sitting in this room and realizing how different everything is without Brandon at my side. My world has flipped upside down. By the time I finish collecting my thoughts to actually speak to Dr. Colson, I have tears streaking down my face.
Dr. Colson slides over a box of tissue that he keeps on the table between us, and I quickly grab for one and grip it like a security blanket. After another silent pause for me to gather myself, Dr. Colson leans forward, drops his yellow pad on the table and speaks to me without breaking eye contact.
“It’s okay, Tessa,” he says in a hushed tone. “I can tell you’ve been through it since the last time we talked. Brandon obviously isn’t here. There have been some changes, and that’s fine. Things can happen fast like that. When you're ready, why don’t you tell me what’s going on. I’m here for you.”
I swallow hard, because there’s just something about trying to talk whenever you're emotional. The second you go to speak, tears just push their way forward like bouncers in a crowded club.
“Okay,” I mutter, before taking a steadying breath. “I’m sorry for crying.”
“Don’t be,” Dr. Colson interrupts. “We all have emotions, and you don’t have to be sorry for displaying them.”
“Thank you,” I whisper before going on. “Things have just been crazy since the last time we spoke. Brandon isn’t here because he broke up with me after our last session. Him and his stupid band went to a gig this past weekend, and we both said a bunch of things to each other, and it’s really over. Then my stupid mom, who has no idea how to be supportive, did nothing but berate, criticize, and blame me for how things ended with Brandon. She made it seem like I was wrong for not chasing after him, and begging him to love me like some sad little puppy who can't be alone. She actually told me that the older I get, the less time I have for someone to marry me, as if that’s what my whole life is dependent upon. As if the whole point of my existence is to be somebody’s wife.
“She got married when she was really young, so she feels like I should do the same thing. It’s so fucking annoying. I don’t know why she can't see