Shameless (The Therapist #2)

that I don’t have to be like her, and that it’s stupid to chase after a man who doesn’t want to be with me. She acts like Brandon is her son, and I’m just some chick he was dating. She doesn’t even care that he broke my heart. She acts like it’s my fault. I just… I just fucking hate everything right now.”
Dr. Colson waits for a moment, letting me get out everything I need to say before he chimes in.
“Is all of that true?” I go on without even knowing I wanted to. “Am I stupid for not fighting for Brandon? Do I have to be on the arm of a man at all fucking times? Is something wrong with me because I’m twenty-eight and single? Am I supposed to have been married with two kids by now?”
“Tessa, none of that is true,” Dr. Colson answers the second I’m done talking. “First off, you're absolutely not stupid when it comes to Brandon. He ended it, and once one person in the relationship doesn’t want to be a part of that relationship anymore, then it's over. That’s the obvious part, but the most important part is knowing that you never have to chase anyone. If I’m being honest, Brandon made things much more difficult than they had to be. I don’t know if he’ll ever be as successful as he expects himself to be, but I do know that he didn’t seem to appreciate you, Tessa, and that should be a minimum in a relationship. It’s not asking too much to be appreciated and respected, regardless of what your career choices are, or even if you haven’t figured that out yet. You don’t have to be doing the same thing as your partner for them to acknowledge and be grateful for you. Brandon made it seem like being with you was his favor to you, when it’s him who should’ve been thankful that you allowed him to be with you.”
Dr. Colson sits back in his chair again and watches me for a second, but I don’t have a response other than tears. I've never heard a man speak so sincerely about how a woman should be treated. Dr. Colson is amazing. I bet he’s making some woman very happy.
“There’s something I need you to understand, Tessa,” Dr. Colson goes on as I dab my eyes with the tissue. “I don’t mean to disrespect your mother, so please don’t take this that way, but you don’t ever need a man to validate you. You don’t need anybody for that. The only person you need to validate you is you. You’re incredible as long as you believe you are. It doesn’t matter what I say, or what your mother says, or what your father says, or what Brandon says. You’re not supposed to dedicate your life to being some guy’s arm candy. You are much more than that, and anybody who doesn’t see that, isn’t worth your time. You’re a queen. You have to always remember that, because half the guys who are running around believing they are kings, are the court jesters of the world. They’re just too dumb and full of themselves to realize it.
“You are a powerful woman, and you don’t need anybody to substantiate you. All you need, Tessa, is to figure out what you want, and to go for it. You don’t have to follow someone else’s rules. So, forget about Brandon. Forget about your mother. The only person you have to please is you. The only person you have to impress is you. The only person who can legitimize you is you. The only person you have to answer to is yourself. You just need to go for what you want.”
“What if I don’t know what I want?” I ask. The tears have finally dried up, and I hope with everything in me that I’m able to keep them at bay from now on. “I’ve gone my entire life doing what other people have told me I needed to do in order to be loved, and the end result has always been heartbreak and dissatisfaction. I don’t even know what I like. I’m twenty-eight years old. How am I supposed to fix that now?”
“It’s never too late to get started,” Dr. Colson says with a smile. “Maybe it’s time you get to know yourself. Figure out what makes you happy, what you like and don’t like, and what you want out of life. Once you do that, it’ll be a lot easier to figure out what you want out of a relationship.”
I let out a soft chuckle. “That sounds a lot easier said than done.”
“It definitely is, but it’s possible. There’s no rush when it comes to learning about yourself. You go at your own pace.”
“Okay. Is that something you can help me with? I’m just not sure I can do it on my own right now. It’s kind of a foreign concept for me.”
Dr. Colson smiles again, his face shifting into something sneakier than normal, before softening and looking more familiar.
“I absolutely can help you with that,” he says, his voice overflowing with confidence.
I don’t know what this alternate version of myself would look like. I’ve always given consideration to what my mother might think before I did anything. If it wasn’t her, it was my father. If not him, it was Brandon for the last two years. I’ve never stopped to ask myself what it is I want. What do I like? What makes me happy? Now that the idea has been planted in my head, I’m dying to know the answers.

Chapter Eleven
~ Tessa ~
“I can't believe you left me at that place to fend for myself.”
“I’m sorry,” my friend Melissa screeches, throwing her hands over her face. “What did you want me to do? Emma is sick and throwing up, and Daniel had to go to work. I’m so sorry, Tessa. I’m sorry I took care of my sick daughter. Next time,