Wanderer (Book 1): Wanderer

because in the middle of the third week, the power went out.
I awoke violently from my dream, or was it a nightmare? The fire was nothing more than embers now. Thank god tonight is not that cold. Except for my side is colder than the rest of me. Significantly colder. At first I thought it was my arm, but the feeling was on the wrong side. It felt like someone was lying next to me then left. Then it hits me, Mandy is gone. She was right here by my side when we fell asleep and now she’s nowhere to be found.
I sat up and saw her lying across from me on the other side of the smoldering fire. She looked so peaceful, curled up next to the warmth of the fire. Now I truly was alone in this world.
I covered her with my heavy jacket. I couldn’t just leave her like that so I set out into the surrounding darkness looking for something to dig a hole with.
I wandered the darkness praying that she didn’t suffer. Did she try to wake me and I wouldn’t because I was so caught up in my own mess that I had blocked all stimuli from the real world? Could I have even helped her if I were awake?
Tears were falling down my face now. Can I please just find a fucking stick or something? Anything?
I was just about to give up when I saw a faint glimmer in the distance. A fire. It was cutting in and out which meant that someone or something was walking back and forth in front of it.
I paused and pulled out the pistol from my belt and continued moving forward.
As I got closer I could see there were two figures pacing the fire. They were talking, but I couldn’t understand what they were saying. Their faces were covered by some sort of masks, to protect them from whatever airborne pathogens they thought might be out there. They were scavengers. They were the ones patrolling the mountains. Hopefully the fire would attract the search and rescue teams and drive these two away.
I had been distracted by the two scavengers and I had forgotten about everything else when all of a sudden all of my emotions came flooding back to me and I vomited. At least what I had left to vomit.
I needed to be away from there so I ran back to where I thought my camp was. I could’ve sworn that as I ran away one of them heard me and turned to watch me leave.
The cold air burned at my cheeks where the tears ran down my face. Where the hell is my camp? How long had I been running? My legs could barely keep up and I couldn’t see anything, it was a miracle I hadn’t tripped or run into anything.

Entry 26
The sun beating down on my face was what woke me up. My head was pounding from where it hit the ground. There’s a little trickle of blood running down my forehead from the rock, or whatever I hit.
I looked behind me and saw the root of a tree sticking out of the ground just waiting for some yahoo to come running through the woods at night and trip over it.
My arm was stiff and I realized I hadn’t changed the bandage in a few days. This would kill me before the hunger ever did, that is if I didn’t find water.
I have nothing left. I left my pack back at the camp last night. Not to mention Mandy. Why didn’t I just wait until morning? I could have easily found something to dig a hole with and bury her properly. Now she’s all alone, left at the camp site like a piece of trash. I could just follow my foot prints back to the site, but there aren’t any. Apparently pine needles offer good cover if you’re trying to lose someone, even if it was yourself.
I have no idea where I am, I found that a common occurrence lately. I’ve been walking through the forest for God knows how long now with no sign of the camp. I found myself wishing I had turned myself into the scavengers. Maybe they have food, shelter, and medical supplies.
I stopped to rest against a pile of boulders. I hurt and I want to give my face a break from the elements. A moderate breeze had picked up and I was walking straight into it.
My whole face had dried out and my lips had started to crack and bleed. I curled up at the base of the formation burying my face in my jacket. I soon drifted into an exhausted sleep.
I was awoken later by the screams. It had been a long time since I last heard them. It seemed they fetched a ride on the breeze and found their way to me.
Eventually I brought myself to start wandering again. My eyes were still puffy and every now and again I caught the tears falling out of my eyes.
It was dusk when I came to a familiar clearing in the woods. I was on the opposite side now, but it’s definitely the same SUV. I’ve done a complete circle. What a complete waste of time. We could’ve just stayed here and starved together. I approached it and found it was in the same condition as when I left it.
That night I was catching up on my journal when I found myself staring at the rosary again. I grew very angry, not at the situation, but at the rosary itself, it just reminded me of Mandy, so I snatched it off the rearview mirror and soon fell into a starved sleep and more nightmares.
A green light blurred into my vision and I was awake again. I couldn’t make it out at first, but it slowly focused and now I could see it was the dash clock. It read 4:38. 4:38 in the morning. I didn’t