Dealing with Dragons

"Oh, honestly," Cimorene muttered, and quickened her step. "Here, you," she said as she came out into the sunlight. Then she had to duck as a spear flashed through the air over her head. "Stop that!" she cried. "I'm Princess Cimorene."
"You are?" said a doubtful voice. "Are you sure? I mean-" Cimorene raised her head cautiously and squinted. It was still fairly early in the morning, and the sun was in back of the person standing outside the cave, so that it was difficult to see anything but the outline of his figure against the brightness. "Of course I'm sure," Cimorene said.
"What did you expect, letters of reference? Come around here where I can see who you are, please."
The figure moved sideways, and Cimorene saw that it was a knight in shiny new armor, except for the legs, where the armor was dusty from walking. Cimorene wondered briefly why he hadn't ridden, but decided not to ask. The knight's visor was raised, and a few wisps of sandy hair showed above his handsome face. He was studying her with an expression of worried puzzlement.
"What can I do for you?" Cimorene said after several moments had gone by and the knight still hadn't said anything.
"Well, um, if you are the Princess Cimorene, I've come to rescue you from the dragon," the knight said.
Cimorene set the point of the broadsword on the ground and leaned on it as if it were a walking cane. "I thought that might be it," she said.
"But I'd rather not be rescued, thank you just the same."
"Not be rescued?" The knight's puzzled look deepened. "But princesses always-" "No, they don't," Cimorene said firmly, recognizing the beginning of a familiar argument. "And even if I wanted to be rescued, you're going at it all wrong."
"what?" said the knight, thoroughly taken aback.
"Shouting, 'Come out and fight,' the way you did. No self-respecting dragon is going to answer to a challenge like that. It sounds like a child's dare. Dragons are very conscious of their dignity, at least all the ones I've met so far are."
"Oh," said the knight, sounding very crestfallen. "What should I have said?"
"'Stand forth and do battle' is the usual challenge," Cimorene said with authority, remembering her princess lessons. She had always been more interested in what the knights and dragons were supposed to say than in memorizing the places where she was supposed to scream. "But the wording doesn't have to be exact as long as it's suitably formal.
You're new at this, aren't you?"
"Rescuing you was going to be my first big quest," the knight said gloomily. "You're sure you don't want to be rescued?"
"Quite sure," Cimorene said. "I like living with Kazul."
"You like-" The knight stared at her for a moment. Then his expression cleared and he said, "Of course! The dragon's enchanted you. I should have thought of that before."
"Kazul has not enchanted me, and I do not want to be rescued by anybody, "Cimorene said, alarmed by the knight's sudden enthusiasm.
"This place suits me very well. I like polishing swords and cooking cherries jubilee and reading Latin scrolls. If you don't believe me, ask anyone in Linderwall.
They've been complaining about my un-princesslike behavior for years."
"I did hear something about fencing lessons," the knight said doubtfully, "but knights aren't supposed to pay attention to that kind of thing.
We're supposed to be above rumors and gossip."
"The fencing lessons were just the beginning," Cimorene assured him.
"So you see why I'm perfectly happy being a dragon's princess."
"Um, yes," said the knight, but he did not look convinced. "Speaking of dragons, where's yours?"
"Kazul's not my dragon," Cimorene said sharply. "I'm her princess.
You'll never have any luck dealing with dragons if you don't get these things straight. She's gone to the Enchanted Forest on the other side of the mountains to borrow a crepe pan from a witch she knows."
"She's what?" said the knight.
"She's gone to borrow a crepe pan," Cimorene repeated in a louder voice. "Perhaps you'd better have your helmet checked when you get back.
They're not supposed to interfere with your hearing, but sometimes-" "Oh, I heard you," the knight said. "But what does a dragon want with a crepe pan?"
"She doesn't want it; I do. I found a recipe in the library that I want to try, and the kitchen just isn't equipped to handle anything but the most ordinary cooking. Kazul will fix that eventually, but for the time being we have to borrow things like crepe pans and souffle dishes."
"You really do like it here," the knight said wonderingly.
Cimorene refrained from replying that this was what she had been trying to tell him all along and instead said, "How did you know where I Was?"
"Things get around." The knight waved a hand in a vague manner.
"In fact, I had to hurry to make sure I was the first. Half of the Kingdom of Linderwall and a princess's hand in marriage is a reward rich enough to tempt a lot of people who wouldn't normally bother with this sort of thing."
"Father's offered half the kingdom to whoever rescues me?" Cimorene said incredulously. "That's more than all my sisters' dowries put together"
"It's the usual thing in cases like this," the knight said mildly.
"It would be," Cimorene said in tones of deep disgust. "Well, at least you can go back and tell them I don't want to be rescued. Maybe that will keep anyone else from coming up here."
"I can't do that!" the knight said. "It's-" "-just not done," Cimorene finished. "I understand perfectly." She gave him a polite farewell, more because she had been well brought up than because she felt like being polite, and sent him on his way. Then she went back into the cave and polished the broadsword until it was mirror-bright, which relieved her feelings a little.
There were two knights the following day, and four more the day after that.
On the fourth day there was only one, but he was exceptionally stubborn, and it took Cimorene nearly two hours to get rid of him. By then she was thoroughly disgusted and even considered letting Kazul handle the knights from then on. She could not quite bring herself to do it. The knights would certainly attack Kazul as soon as they saw her, since that was what they were coming for, and sooner or later someone would get hurt. Cimorene did not like to think that someone might be hurt trying to rescue her, particularly since she did not want to be rescued, so with a sigh she decided that she would continue to handle the knights as long as Kazul would let her.
Prince Therandil showed up at the end of the third week. He was limping a little, as if his metal boots pinched his toes, and the feathers attached to the top of his helmet sagged badly. He stopped and carefully struck an impressive pose before issuing the usual challenge.
Cimorene was not in a mood to be impressed. Besides, she could see that his helmet was a different style from his gold armor and that the armor had gaps at the knees and elbows where it didn't fit together quite right.
"Aren't you a little slow?" she asked irritably. "There've been eight knights here before you."
"Eight?" the prince said, frowning. "I thought by now there'd have been at least twelve. Perhaps I'd better come back later."
Cimorene stared at him in surprise. "Why?"
"Well, it would look better," Therandil explained seriously. "There's not much glory in defeating a dragon that hasn't already beaten ten or fifteen people at least. Sir Gorolax of Mirstwold won't even consider going after a dragon whose score is less than forty-five. I don't think I want to risk waiting that long, but eight just doesn't seem like enough."
"You're going to go away and wait until Kazul has defeated fifteen knights before you come back to rescue me?" Cimorene said. She found Therandil's smug confidence very annoying, but she didn't like to say so straight out.