A Murder Is Announced

Chapter 2. Breakfast at Little Paddocks
At Little Paddocks also, breakfast was in progress.
Miss Blacklock, a woman of sixty odd, the owner of the house, sat at the head of the table. She wore country tweeds-and with them, rather incongruously, a choker necklace of large false pearls. She was reading Lane Norcott in theDaily Mail. Julia Simmons was languidly glancing through theTelegraph. Patrick Simmons was checking up on the crossword inThe Times. Miss Dora Bunner was giving her attention wholeheartedly to the local weekly paper.
Miss Blacklock gave a subdued chuckle, Patrick muttered: ‘Adherent-notadhesive -that’s where I went wrong.’
Suddenly a loud cluck, like a startled hen, came from Miss Bunner.
‘Letty-Letty-have you seen this? Whatevercan it mean?’
‘What’s the matter, Dora?’
‘The most extraordinary advertisement. It says Little Paddocks quite distinctly. But whatever can itmean?’
‘If you’d let me see, Dora dear-’
Miss Bunner obediently surrendered the paper into Miss Blacklock’s outstretched hand, pointing to the item with a tremulous forefinger.
‘Just look, Letty.’
Miss Blacklock looked. Her eyebrows went up. She threw a quick scrutinizing glance round the table. Then she read the advertisement out loud.
‘A murder is announced and will take place on Friday,
October 29th, at Little Paddocks at 6.30 p.m.
Friends please accept this, the only intimation.’
Then she said sharply: ‘Patrick, is this your idea?’
Her eyes rested searchingly on the handsome devil-may-care face of the young man at the other end of the table.
Patrick Simmons’ disclaimer came quickly.
‘No, indeed, Aunt Letty. Whatever put that idea into your head? Why should I know anything about it?’
‘I wouldn’t put it past you,’ said Miss Blacklock grimly. ‘I thought it might be your idea of a joke.’
‘A joke? Nothing of the kind.’
‘And you, Julia?’
Julia, looking bored, said: ‘Of course not.’
Miss Bunner murmured: ‘Do you think Mrs Haymes-’ and looked at an empty place where someone had breakfasted earlier.
‘Oh, I don’t think our Phillipa would try and be funny,’ said Patrick. ‘She’s a serious girl, she is.’
‘But what’s the idea, anyway?’ said Julia, yawning. ‘What does it mean?’
Miss Blacklock said slowly, ‘I suppose-it’s some silly sort of hoax.’
‘But why?’ Dora Bunner exclaimed. ‘What’s the point of it? It seems a very stupid sort of joke. And in very bad taste.’
Her flabby cheeks quivered indignantly, and her short-sighted eyes sparkled with indignation.
Miss Blacklock smiled at her.
‘Don’t work yourself up over it, Bunny,’ she said. ‘It’s just somebody’s idea of humour, but I wish I knew whose.’
‘It says today,’ pointed out Miss Bunner. ‘Today at6.30 p.m. What do you think is going to happen?’
‘Death!’ said Patrick in sepulchral tones. ‘Delicious death.’
‘Be quiet, Patrick,’ said Miss Blacklock as Miss Bunner gave a little yelp.
‘I only meant the special cake that Mitzi makes,’ said Patrick apologetically. ‘You know wealways call it delicious death.’
Miss Blacklock smiled a little absent-mindedly.
Miss Bunner persisted: ‘But Letty, what do you really think-?’
Her friend cut across the words with reassuring cheerfulness.
‘I know one thing that will happen at 6.30,’ she said dryly. ‘We’ll have half the village up here, agog with curiosity. I’d better make sure we’ve got some sherry in the house.’
***
‘Youare worried, aren’t you Lotty?’
Miss Blacklock started. She had been sitting at her writing-table, absent-mindedly drawing little fishes on the blotting paper. She looked up into the anxious face of her old friend.
She was not quite sure what to say to Dora Bunner. Bunny, she knew, mustn’t be worried or upset. She was silent for a moment or two, thinking.
She and Dora Bunner had been at school together. Dora then had been a pretty, fair-haired, blue-eyed rather stupid girl. Her being stupid hadn’t mattered, because her gaiety and high spirits and her prettiness had made her an agreeable companion. She ought, her friend thought, to have married some nice Army officer, or a country solicitor. She had so many good qualities-affection, devotion, loyalty. But life had been unkind to Dora Bunner. She had had to earn her living. She had been painstaking but never competent at anything she undertook.
The two friends had lost sight of each other. But six months ago a letter had come to Miss Blacklock, a rambling, pathetic letter. Dora’s health had given way. She was living in one room, trying to subsist on her old age pension. She endeavoured to do needlework, but her fingers were stiff with rheumatism. She mentioned their schooldays-since then life had driven them apart-but could-possibly-her old friend help?
Miss Blacklock had responded impulsively. Poor Dora, poor pretty silly fluffy Dora. She had swooped down upon Dora, had carried her off, had installed her at Little Paddocks with the comforting fiction that ‘the housework is getting too much for me. I need someone to help me run the house.’ It was not for long-the doctor had told her that-but sometimes she found poor old Dora a sad trial. She muddled everything, upset the temperamental foreign ‘help’, miscounted the laundry, lost bills and letters-and sometimes reduced the competent Miss Blacklock to an agony of exasperation. Poor old muddle-headed Dora, so loyal, so anxious to help, so pleased and proud to think she was of assistance-and, alas, so completely unreliable.
She said sharply:
‘Don’t, Dora. You know I asked you-’
‘Oh,’ Miss Bunner looked guilty. ‘I know. I forgot. But-but youare, aren’t you?’
‘Worried? No. At least,’ she added truthfully, ‘not exactly. You mean about that silly notice in theGazette?’
‘Yes-even if it’s a joke, it seems to me it’s a-a spiteful sort of joke.’
‘Spiteful?’
‘Yes. It seems to me there’sspite there somewhere. I mean-it’s not anice kind of joke.’
Miss Blacklock looked at her friend. The mild eyes, the long obstinate mouth, the slightly upturned nose. Poor Dora, so maddening, so muddle-headed, so devoted and such a problem. A dear fussy old idiot and yet, in a queer way, with an instinctive sense of value.
‘I think you’re right, Dora,’ said Miss Blacklock. ‘It’s not a nice joke.’
‘I don’t like it at all,’ said Dora Bunner with unsuspected vigour. ‘It frightens me.’ She added, suddenly: ‘And it frightensyou, Letitia.’
‘Nonsense,’ said Miss Blacklock with spirit.
‘It’sdangerous. I’m sure it is. Like those people who send you bombs done up in parcels.’
‘My dear, it’s just some silly idiot trying to be funny.’
‘But itisn’t funny.’
It wasn’t really very funny…Miss Blacklock’s face betrayed her thoughts, and Dora cried triumphantly, ‘You see. You think so, too!’
‘But Dora, my dear-’
She broke off. Through the door there surged a tempestuous young woman with a well-developed bosom heaving under a tight jersey. She had on a dirndl skirt of a bright colour and had greasy dark plaits wound round and round her head. Her eyes were dark and flashing.
She said gustily:
‘I can speak to you, yes, please, no?’
Miss Blacklock sighed.
‘Of course, Mitzi, what is it?’
Sometimes she thought it would be preferable to do the entire work of the house as well as the cooking rather than be bothered with the eternal nerve storms of her refugee ‘lady help’.
‘I tell you at once-it is in order, I hope? I give you my notices and Igo -I go atonce!’
‘For what reason? Has somebody upset you?’
‘Yes, I am upset,’ said Mitzi dramatically. ‘I do not wish to die! Already in Europe I escape. My family they all die-they are all killed-my mother, my little brother, my so sweet little niece-all, all they are killed. But me I run away-I hide. I get to England. I work. I do work that never-never would I do in my own country-I-’
‘I know all that,’ said Miss Blacklock crisply. It was, indeed, a constant refrain on Mitzi’s lips. ‘But why do you want to leavenow?’
‘Because again they come to kill me!’
‘Who do?’
‘My enemies. The Nazis! Or perhaps this time it is the Bolsheviks. They find out I am here. They come to kill me. I have read it-yes-it is in the newspaper!’
‘Oh, you mean in theGazette?’
‘Here, it is writtenhere.’ Mitzi produced theGazette from where she had been holding it behind her back. ‘See-here it says amurder. At Little Paddocks. That is here, is it not? This evening at 6.30. Ah! I do not wait to be murdered-no.’
‘But why should this apply toyou? It’s-we think it is a joke.’
‘Ajoke? It is not a joke to murder someone.’
‘No, of course not. But my dear child, if anyone wanted to murder you, they wouldn’t advertise the fact in the paper, would they?’
‘You do not think they would?’ Mitzi seemed a little shaken. ‘You think, perhaps, they do not mean to murder anyone at all? Perhaps it isyou they mean to murder, Miss Blacklock.’
‘I certainly can’t believe anyone wants to murder me,’ said Miss Blacklock lightly. ‘And really, Mitzi, I don’t see why anyone should want to murder you. After all, why should they?’
‘Because they are bad peoples…Very bad peoples. I tell you, my mother, my little brother, my so sweet niece…’
‘Yes, yes.’ Miss Blacklock stemmed the flow, adroitly. ‘But I cannot really believeanyone wants to murder you, Mitzi. Of course, if you want to go off like this at a moment’s notice, I can’t possibly stop you. But I think you will be very silly if you do.’
She added firmly, as Mitzi looked doubtful:
‘We’ll have that beef the butcher sent stewed for lunch. It looks very tough.’
‘I make you a goulash, a special goulash.’
‘If you prefer to call it that, certainly. And perhaps you could use up that rather hard bit of cheese in making some cheese straws. I think some people may come in this evening for drinks.’
‘This evening? What do you mean, this evening?’
‘At half-past six.’