A Mad Zombie Party

Without hesitation, she pops him in the nose once, twice, and as he goes down, howling with pain, bleeding, she says, “Oops. My hand slipped.”
I fight a grin. “Both times?”
“The air is slippery.” She steps around Broken Nose.
The other guy helps his friend stand up. “Bitch.”
Camilla’s shoulders square before she exits, letting me know she heard the insult. I also know she left the way she did, pretending to have bumped into me, because she hoped to spare me grief for hanging out with her, and it’s making my chest ache.
“We just left Cole’s,” Chance says, picking up the conversation as if there was never a confrontation with Camilla. “We were surprised you weren’t there.”
“I’m headed there now. See you around.” I slam into the guy who called Camilla a bitch, knocking him down, before chasing after my girl—no, no. Not my girl. My...I don’t know what she is. I only know I would rather be with her than the pricks who just hurt her.
  
  
I’m trapped in a freaking day from hell. But the part that sucks the biggest balls? This is a day from hell in a long string of days from hell. And really, one should be indistinguishable from another by now. Somehow, though, this one stands out as the worst yet.
First, I woke up to find Frosty sneaking out. As if I was a one-night stand he couldn’t wait to forget. Then, of course, I ran into Chance, my brother’s best friend—and a former “boyfriend” of mine—as well as Chance’s two younger cousins. Oh, and my personal fave, the Z toxin in my system is causing the nightmares and who knows what other problems.
From now on, I probably need to ask myself one very important question each and every day. Do I want to eat my friends?
I’m not sure how much more bad news I can take.
Frosty catches up to me, grabs me by the wrist and tugs me to his truck. I don’t protest, but I do look around to make sure no one sees us.
As he speeds down the highway, he says, “I’m not embarrassed to be seen with you. You didn’t have to pretend we’d only bumped into each other.”
My heart melts. Until he adds, “Besides, they probably know about the vision.”
Right. Because he wouldn’t hang around me for any other reason.
I won’t cry. It’s not like this is news.
“Do you miss your crew?”
I’m not sure I like the way he hammers to the heart of the matter. “I do. As much as a limb.” Seeing the trio had hurt like hell. They might have lost all respect for me, might hate me to my rotten core, but I still love them.
“Your betrayal put them at risk, saved only your brother.”
At least he’s not spitting the words at me. His tone is calm, factual. I rub my Betrayal tattoo—and the compass next to it. A reminder that no matter how lost I am, there’s still a way home. I just have to find it.
Needing a reprieve, I stare out the window. The sky is pretty, baby blue with puffy white clouds. Towering oaks line the side of the road and dot the rolling hills. I’ve lived in Bama all my life, but I’m still awed by the scenery.
“Camilla?”
If I continue to maintain my silence, Frosty will let the subject drop. I know this. Personal conversations aren’t our thing. But I finally say, “At the time, I had tunnel vision. Save River. My eye was on the prize, and I was blind to everything else.”
“I still don’t understand how you did what you did to them...to Ali.”
She’s easier to talk about, so I say, “Before I’d even met her, I knew I had to betray her. I decided to find fault with her, no matter what. A smile meant she was making fun of me. A frown meant she disapproved of me.”
“Seems pretty twisted.”
“It was.” Anytime I felt myself softening toward her, I purposely snipped and snapped at her, creating strife between us. A task my inner bitch enjoyed. “Desperate girls do desperate things.”
A moment of silence. “Where we’re headed... River is there. He’s been staying there. Can you handle seeing him?”
Good question. The brother who used to hold me when I cried, who used to tell me everything would be okay, that he would always take care of me, the brother who did his best to save—
I’m just supposed to smile when he turns his back on me?
And he will turn his back on me. Our crew lives by a single motto. Lie and Die, Betray and Pay. When my association with Anima was first found out, protocol demanded River feed me the barrel of a .44. He kicked me out instead, still in protector mode, I suppose.
“You won’t know anything is wrong with me,” I say on a trembling breath. I’m needed, and there’s no way I’ll let anyone else down just because I’m cut to ribbons inside.
“I won’t know anything is wrong with you...but something will be wrong with you.” The words should be a question, but he’s made them a statement. “You can’t... You shouldn’t...” He jerks a hand through his hair. “Damn it. You’re twisting up my guts. Stop.”
“How am I twisting—”
“Stop.”
Fine. Whatever. I answer his nonquestion. “I can’t control what I feel, but I can control how I react to those feelings.”
“And that makes your pain any less real?”
“No, but feelings change all the time, for a million different reasons. They’re unreliable and therefore inconsequential in the big scheme of things. Why give in to the worst of them?”
His lips purse. “What about love?”
It’s a very personal question, but I find myself saying, “Love is a choice, not an emotion.”
He’s shaking his head before I’ve finished speaking. “You’re telling me a man and woman should decide to be together, rather than waiting to fall for each other?”
“I’m talking about love. You’re talking about chemistry.”
“I love Kat. I don’t chemistry her.”
I don’t know why, but hearing him say he still loves the girl who continually tells him to date other people is worse than River’s potential rejection. “Real love never fails, never fades, and the greatest expression of it is giving.”
“I give—gave—her everything.”
“Did you really? Did you give her your time and attention when you were busy with other things? Did you put her happiness before your own? Did you give her what she needed or what she wanted?”
A muscle jumps beneath his eye. “I’m done with this conversation.”
Well. Score one, Milla.
He turns onto a redbrick road, where a towering, intricately twisted wrought-iron gate blocks our entrance. As we slow, that gate opens automatically and we’re able to cruise down the drive and park in front of...a hotel?
No, I realize. This is Reeve Ankh’s new house. A massive plantation with white shuttered windows, massive columns and a wraparound portico. Pecan and apple trees intermingle along the front of the property, a display of nature’s best. To the left are strawberry and blackberry vines, and the sweet fruits scent the air.
“While we’re here, you stay by my side,” Frosty says as we climb the porch steps. “Got it?”
“Sir, yes, sir. Do you?”
“I won’t try to ditch you, if that’s what you’re hinting at. Not here, at least.”
His determination to keep me in his sights gives me pause. Usually he can’t wait to ditch me. Why would he—
The truth hits, and for a moment, I’m blindsided. After all the time we’ve spent together, he doesn’t trust me. Not even a little. He thinks I’ll sneak off, maybe try to destroy the security system or something equally disastrous.
I don’t know why I expected better. He’s giving me what I deserve. What I will always deserve. I need to take my licks like a big girl and move on.
Feelings are inconsequential, right?
“We’ll get Reeve to run those tests before we leave,” he says. “I want to give the newest dose of antidote time to do its thing first.”