Обмани меня (ЛП)

“Why are you calling, Xander?” she answered warily.
“I just wanted to hear your voice. See if you were okay.”
She sighed, and I heard her shuffle around like she was in bed. “Don’t call anymore, Xander.”
“Wait! Don’t hang up.” I traced my finger over the edge of the shot glass.
“What?”
“I know you hate me right now, but just know… I love you… okay?”
There was a stretched-out silence; then the line went dead. She’d hung up, and I didn’t know if I expected differently. I pushed my phone back into my pocket and ran my fingers through my hair. I felt her giving up on us, and that was something I wasn’t ready to do.
I stared at the shot glass for what seemed like an hour. And I swear it felt like it weighed a ton when I lifted it. I’d stopped thinking and only felt. When the liquid burned its way down my throat, it tasted like betrayal, because I’d betrayed myself by succumbing to it.
After that, it was like a domino effect—once I hit one, more followed. I remembered Veronica leaving with some guy she’d met, and I was still glued to my stool with a shot glass as company. I scrolled through my phone a thousand times, willing myself not to call Avery again. But once you start drinking, all your inhibitions vanish.
 Drunken Calls 
 Avery 
 Xander’s heavy body pressed me into the mattress. His cock was thick and hard, pushing into me, filling me just the way I remembered. I traced the hard planes of his back as his muscles bunched from the strength of his thrusts. Caressed his smooth skin and savored the sounds of his harsh breaths against my ear. I took pleasure in the feel of his skin, the sound of his groans, and the feel of his cock inside me. I was soaring toward a shattering orgasm when— 
 I woke with a start. I was hot and sweating and breathing as though my fuck-mare was real. That’s what I called them now because I couldn’t escape them. My fuck-mares of Xander were becoming commonplace. My body was suffering from abandonment, and its only satisfaction came from hot erotic dreams of all the ways I wanted Xander to fuck me.
My phone rang, and I realized the sound had woken me. I reached out and picked it up without looking. “Hello.”
“Don’t hang up… I wanna talk to you.” Xander slurred his words.
“Xander, are you okay?” I sat up in bed, trying to clear the sleep from my head.
“I need to… Can I come see you…? Just this once… one last time.”
“Have you been drinking?” God, don’t let him have broken his sobriety, I prayed as my heart clenched.
“No—yes, but I’m fine… Avery?”
“Yeah…?” I climbed out of bed, pulling on a pair a loose shorts and another tank top since the one I wore to sleep in was sweat-soaked.
“I’m sorry, baby.”
Not now. I really didn’t want to deal with this now. We had too much going on for me to be feeling this inside out about his drinking.
“Where are you, Xander?” I purposely tried to ignore his apology because it made me feel things I didn’t want.
“I don’t know. Some bar… Need to see you… Coming to see you.”
“No, tell me where you are and I’ll come get you.” There was no way I was ever again letting Xander get behind the wheel drunk.
“A couple blocks from your office.” His breathing was heavy, and I knew he’d had more than one drink.
“Just stay there and I’ll come, okay?” He didn’t respond, but I still heard the noise from the bar in the background as I grabbed my keys and headed out the door.
“Xander?” Silence. But I heard his breaths coming through the line.
“I fucked up, Avery. I just… I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t work, kept thinking about what I did to you—your parents. What I did to her.” He fell silent as I started the car. “I don’t know how to do this. Some people just… don’t deserve love.” He sighed out a breath as his words stole mine. My chest tightened, and I clutched the steering wheel as the phone went dead.
“Fuck!” I slammed my hands against the wheel and laid my forehead on it. I was angry, irritated, and most of all, I was convinced. Convinced I’d fallen so deeply for Xander I wouldn’t be able to push him out of my life. The fact that I was rushing off at two in the morning to find him in some unknown bar only proved it. Despite everything, Xander had the ability to make me drop everything. Xander still had the ability to make me love him.
After going to two bars on the same street as my office, I found Xander at a small pub a few blocks down. He was at the bar. A woman sat on his right side, trying to get his attention, but he was more interested in his shot glass. He held the glass in his hand and spun it as he stared at it. If he was contemplating getting another drink, I wasn’t going to let that happen.
I slid onto the stool beside him, staring straight ahead, purposely avoiding direct contact with him. “Ready to go?”
He turned his attention from the shot glass to me.
“You came.” He sounded amazed I’d actually shown up. He rested his elbow on the bar top and leaned his face on his fisted hand. “Are you angry?”
 Furious , actually. 
“I just want to get you home safely. Can we leave now?” I was tense, and my words came out through gritted teeth.
He reached out and touched my hair, caressing a lock between his fingers. I was tempted to pull away, but I didn’t want to do or say anything that initiated a heart-filled, alcohol-induced confession. The woman to his right realized she wasn’t gaining his attention tonight and left his side.
I stilled as he buried his fingers into my hair, leaned in, and sniffed me. “You always smell so good… edible.”
I jumped off my stool when I felt his tongue moving up my neck. “Let’s go,” I said, ignoring the heat that had quickly blossomed over that minor touch. I crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow, and he reluctantly stood and followed me out of the bar.
He dozed off, mumbling incoherent words, as I drove to his place. When we got there, I woke him, dug his keys out of his pocket, and led him into the house. I helped him into his bedroom, and that was when I should’ve bailed. But I stayed, pulling off his shoes and jeans before he collapsed on the bed.
As I turned to leave the room, he caught my arm, pulled me, and I fell onto the bed. For an intoxicated man, he was quick. In seconds, he was over me—kissing my neck and nudging up my shirt.
“Xander, stop.” I wished I sounded more convincing. I wished my body wasn’t responding to his touches. His right hand was massaging my breast while his left hand worked the button on my shorts.
 Stop him now. 
I knew my resistance when it came to Xander was slim, so it would be wise to press the brakes before this turned into a disaster, but despite my pushing against him, he was persistent.
His hand and lips were very persuasive, and I lost all hope when he whispered, “Just let me make you come. God… I just want to hear you moan again.”
His hand shoved down my shorts and began working my clit with his fingers. I was embarrassed that I was already so soaking wet.
 Je sus Christ, I missed his fingers… and everything else. 
He slid two fingers over my clit then thrust them into my pussy. He dragged them out and over my clit again, then back in. Over and over he teased me with the delicious glide of his fingers over my slit until I was doing exactly what he asked for. Moaning—begging. He pushed up my shirt and bra, exposing my breasts. As he sucked a taut nipple into his mouth, he started to fuck me with his fingers mercilessly. I pushed up into his fingers, rolling my hips and panting as my climax mounted.
I came hard in a sexually induced duplicitous haze that caused me to forget—even for a few short minutes—how disappointed and angry I was with this man. I blamed it on the physical pull. My body was asinine—clueless to how deceitful this man had been to us. It was a carnally hungry savage beast that took its pleasure from Xander despite the resulting agony.