The Comedy of Errors

of my doors by day.

But, soft! I see the goldsmith. Get thee gone;

Buy thou a rope and bring it home to me.

Dromio of Ephesus
I buy a thousand pound a year: I buy a rope. Exit.


Antipholus of Ephesus

A man is well holp up that trusts to you:

I promised your presence and the chain;

But neither chain nor goldsmith came to me.

Belike you thought our love would last too long,

If it were chain’d together, and therefore came not.



Angelo

Saving your merry humour, here’s the note

How much your chain weighs to the utmost carat,

The fineness of the gold and chargeful fashion,

Which doth amount to three odd ducats more

Than I stand debted to this gentleman:

I pray you, see him presently discharged,

For he is bound to sea and stays but for it.



Antipholus of Ephesus

I am not furnish’d with the present money;

Besides, I have some business in the town.

Good signior, take the stranger to my house

And with you take the chain and bid my wife

Disburse the sum on the receipt thereof:

Perchance I will be there as soon as you.



Angelo
Then you will bring the chain to her yourself?


Antipholus of Ephesus
No; bear it with you, lest I come not time enough.


Angelo
Well, sir, I will. Have you the chain about you?


Antipholus of Ephesus

An if I have not, sir, I hope you have;

Or else you may return without your money.



Angelo

Nay, come, I pray you, sir, give me the chain:

Both wind and tide stays for this gentleman,

And I, to blame, have held him here too long.



Antipholus of Ephesus

Good Lord! you use this dalliance to excuse

Your breach of promise to the Porpentine.

I should have chid you for not bringing it,

But, like a shrew, you first begin to brawl.



Second Merchant
The hour steals on; I pray you, sir, dispatch.


Angelo
You hear how he importunes me;⁠—the chain!


Antipholus of Ephesus
Why, give it to my wife and fetch your money.


Angelo

Come, come, you know I gave it you even now.

Either send the chain or send by me some token.



Antipholus of Ephesus

Fie, now you run this humour out of breath,

Come, where’s the chain? I pray you, let me see it.



Second Merchant

My business cannot brook this dalliance.

Good sir, say whether you’ll answer me or no:

If not, I’ll leave him to the officer.



Antipholus of Ephesus
I answer you! what should I answer you?


Angelo
The money that you owe me for the chain.


Antipholus of Ephesus
I owe you none till I receive the chain.


Angelo
You know I gave it you half an hour since.


Antipholus of Ephesus
You gave me none: you wrong me much to say so.


Angelo

You wrong me more, sir, in denying it:

Consider how it stands upon my credit.



Second Merchant
Well, officer, arrest him at my suit.


Officer
I do; and charge you in the duke’s name to obey me.


Angelo

This touches me in reputation.

Either consent to pay this sum for me

Or I attach you by this officer.



Antipholus of Ephesus

Consent to pay thee that I never had!

Arrest me, foolish fellow, if thou darest.



Angelo

Here is thy fee; arrest him, officer.

I would not spare my brother in this case,

If he should scorn me so apparently.



Officer
I do arrest you, sir: you hear the suit.


Antipholus of Ephesus

I do obey thee till I give thee bail.

But, sirrah, you shall buy this sport as dear

As all the metal in your shop will answer.



Angelo

Sir, sir, I shall have law in Ephesus,

To your notorious shame; I doubt it not.




Enter Dromio of Syracuse, from the bay.


Dromio of Syracuse

Master, there’s a bark of Epidamnum

That stays but till her owner comes aboard

And then, sir, she bears away. Our fraughtage, sir,

I have convey’d aboard and I have bought

The oil, the balsamum and aqua-vitae.

The ship is in her trim; the merry wind

Blows fair from land: they stay for nought at all

But for their owner, master, and yourself.



Antipholus of Ephesus

How now! a madman! Why, thou peevish sheep,

What ship of Epidamnum stays for me?



Dromio of Syracuse
A ship you sent me to, to hire waftage.


Antipholus of Ephesus

Thou drunken slave, I sent thee for a rope

And told thee to what purpose and what end.



Dromio of Syracuse

You sent me for a rope’s end as soon:

You sent me to the bay, sir, for a bark.



Antipholus of Ephesus

I will debate this matter at more leisure

And teach your ears to list me with more heed.

To Adriana, villain, hie thee straight:

Give her this key, and tell her, in the desk

That’s cover’d o’er with Turkish tapestry

There is a purse of ducats; let her send it:

Tell her I am arrested in the street

And that shall bail me: hie thee, slave, be gone!

On, officer, to prison till it come. Exeunt Second Merchant, Angelo, Officer, and Antipholus of Ephesus.



Dromio of Syracuse

To Adriana! that is where we dined,

Where Dowsabel did claim me for her husband:

She is too big, I hope, for me to compass.

Thither I must, although against my will,

For servants must their masters’ minds fulfil. Exit.



Scene II
The house of Antipholus of Ephesus.




Enter Adriana and Luciana.


Adriana

Ah, Luciana, did he tempt thee so?

Mightst thou perceive austerely in his eye

That he did plead in earnest? yea or no?

Look’d he or red or pale, or sad or merrily?

What observation madest thou in this case

Of his heart’s meteors tilting in his face?



Luciana
First he denied you had in him no right.


Adriana
He meant he did me none; the more my spite.


Luciana
Then swore he that he was a stranger here.


Adriana
And true he swore, though yet forsworn he were.


Luciana
Then pleaded I for you.


Adriana
And what said he?


Luciana
That love I begg’d for you he begg’d of me.


Adriana
With what persuasion did he tempt thy love?


Luciana

With words that in an honest suit might move.

First he did praise my beauty, then my speech.



Adriana
Didst speak him fair?


Luciana
Have patience, I beseech.


Adriana

I cannot, nor I