A Christmas Blessing

was damned a long time ago.”
For all of her natural optimism, for all of her faith in what a future for the two of them could hold, Jessie couldn’t stand up to that kind of bleak resignation.
“Angela and I will be gone before you know it,” she said, fighting to hold back her tears as she finally admitted that she was defeated.
In the doorway she paused and looked back. “One of these days you’re going to regret forcing us out of your life, Luke. You’re going to wake up and discover that you’ve turned into a bitter, lonely old man.”
That said, she straightened her spine and walked away from the man she’d come to love with all her heart.
* * *
Regrets? Luke was filled with them. They were chasing through his brain like pinballs bouncing erratically from one bumper to the next.
Was he doing the right thing? Of course, he was, he told himself firmly. He had to let Jessie go. He had to let her walk out of his life, taking the baby who’d stolen a little piece of his jaded heart with her. They weren’t his to claim. They were Erik’s and they were going home, where they belonged. They were going to a place where he no longer fit in.
He would have stayed right where he was, hidden away in his office, but Jessie was apparently determined to make him pay for forcing her out of his life. She appeared in the doorway of his office, bundled up, her long hair tucked into a knit cap, her cheeks rosy, either from anger or from a trek outdoors. He suspected the former.
“We’re leaving,” she announced unnecessarily.
Luke had seen Doc Winchell arrive in a fancy four-wheel-drive car a half hour earlier cutting a path through the fresh snow. He’d been expecting to see it driving away any minute now heading back to the airport. He’d been listening for the sound of the backdoor slamming shut behind them, then the roar of the car’s engine. The silence had taunted him. Now, though, it seemed they were finally ready to go, and he was going to be forced to endure another goodbye.
“Have a safe trip,” he said, refusing to meet her condemning gaze.
“Aren’t you going to come and say goodbye to Angela?”
“No,” he said curtly and felt his heart break.
“Lucas, please.”
She didn’t know what she was asking, that had to be it, he decided as he finally got to his feet and followed her into the kitchen.
Doc Winchell, who’d been the family physician ever since Luke could recall, beamed at him. “Lucas, you did a fine job bringing this little one into the world. Couldn’t have done better myself. We’ll get her weighed and checked out from head to toe tomorrow, but she looks perfectly healthy to me.”
Luke kept his gaze deliberately averted from the bundled-up baby. “She really is okay, then?”
“Perfect,” the doctor confirmed.
“Being out in this weather won’t hurt her?”
“The truck’s heater works. She’s wrapped up warmly. She’ll be fine.”
“What about flying?”
“It shouldn’t be a problem and I’ll be right there to keep an eye on her.”
Luke nodded, his hands shoved in his pockets to keep from reaching out to hold the baby one last time. “Take good care of her, Doc. She’s my first delivery.” He grinned despite himself. “Hopefully, my last, too. I don’t think I ever want to know that kind of fear again.”
As if she sensed that Angela was his Achilles’ heel, Jessie plucked the baby up and practically shoved her into Luke’s arms. He had to accept her or allow her to tumble to the floor. One look into those trusting blue eyes and he felt his resolve weaken.
“Say goodbye, Angela,” Jessie murmured beside him. “Uncle Luke isn’t coming with us.”
As if she understood her mother, Angela’s face scrunched up. Her tiny lower lip trembled. Huge tears welled up in her eyes.
Luke rocked her gently. “Hey, little one, no tears, okay? Your Uncle Luke will always have a very special spot in his heart, just for you. You ever need anything, anything at all, you come to me, okay, sweet pea?”
As always, the sound of his voice soothed her. She cooed at him. His effect on her gave him a disconcerting sense of satisfaction. He felt as if his sorry existence meant something to somebody.
Jessie seemed to guess what he was feeling. Her gaze, filled with understanding and a kind of raw agony, was fixed on his face. Luke couldn’t bear looking into her eyes. She knew too well why he was pushing them away. He looked back at Angela’s precious little face instead.
“Goodbye, sweet pea. You take good care of your mommy, okay?”
He held the baby out until Jessie finally had no choice but to claim her.
“Goodbye, Lucas,” she said, her voice laced with all the regret he was feeling. “I will never, ever forget what you did for us.”
He wanted to tell her it was nothing, but he couldn’t seem to force the words past the lump lodged in his throat. He just nodded.
Jessie reached up then and touched her hand to his cheek, silently commanding him to look at her. When he did, she said softly, “If you ever, ever change your mind, I’ll be waiting.”
“Don’t wait too long,” he warned. “Don’t waste your life waiting for something that can never be.”
For an instant he thought she was going to protest, but finally she sighed deeply and turned away. She walked out the kitchen door and never looked back.
It was just as well, Luke thought as he watched her. He would have hated like hell for her to see that he was crying.

Chapter Ten
The commotion caused by their arrival at White Pines was almost more than Jessie could bear, given her already-confused and deeply hurt state of mind.
Harlan gave Doc Winchell the third degree about the baby’s health. Mary claimed Angela the minute Jessie set foot across the threshold. Jordan and Cody studied the new baby with fascination, offering observations on