A Christmas Blessing

which family members she most resembled. A handful of strangers, visiting for the holiday, chimed in.
They had almost nothing beyond the courtesies to say to Jessie, and not one of them asked about Luke. It was hardly surprising, she concluded, that he had refused to set foot in the house at White Pines.
As she stood apart and watched them, Jessie couldn’t help wondering why she’d once wanted so desperately to be a part of this family. It suddenly seemed to her that she’d mistaken chaos and boisterous outbursts for love.
Of course, back then she’d had Erik as a buffer. He’d seen to it that she was never left out of the conversation. He’d insisted that she be treated with respect. She had basked in his attention and barely noticed anyone else.
Except Luke.
Thinking of him now, all alone again on his ranch, she regretted more than ever leaving him, despite his cantankerous behavior. She should have risen above it. She should have listened to her heart.
Suddenly she couldn’t stand all the fussing for another instant. Reaching for Angela, she startled them all by announcing that the baby was tired from the trip and needed to be put down for a nap. To her astonishment, no one argued. She would have to remember that tone of voice for the next time someone in the family tried to steamroll over her.
“I found an old crib in the attic,” Mary said at once. “I had Jordan set it up in your old suite. As soon as the rest of the roads have cleared and it’s safer to drive, we’ll go into town for baby clothes and new sheets and blankets. In the meantime, I’ve had Maritza wash a few things I saved from when the boys were babies.”
Jessie fought a grin as she tried to imagine sexy, irrepressible Cody, the tall, self-assured Jordan or Luke ever being as tiny as Angela was now. “Thank you,” she said. “I’m sure we’ll be fine.”
Cody separated himself from the others as she started up the stairs. “How is Luke?” he asked, walking along with her. Lines of worry were etched in his brow that she was sure hadn’t been there mere months before. He was only twenty-seven, but he seemed older, wearier than he had when she’d left.
“Stubborn as a mule,” she said. “Lonely.”
“Why didn’t he come with you?”
Jessie met Cody’s concerned gaze and gave him the only part of the real answer she could. The rest was private, just between her and Luke. She couldn’t say he was staying away because of her. “Because he blames himself for Erik’s death, and he thinks the rest of you do, too.”
Cody couldn’t have looked more shocked if she’d announced that Luke was locked away at home with a harem.
“But that’s crazy,” he blurted at once. “We all know what happened was an accident. Nobody blames Luke. Hell, if anybody was at fault it was Daddy. He’s the one who backed Erik into a corner and made him try to be something he wasn’t. Any one of us could have taken a spill on that tractor. Accidents happen all the time on a ranch.”
Jessie couldn’t have agreed with him more, but she was startled that Cody recognized the truth. Of all of them, he had always seemed to be the least introspective. Cody seemed imperturbable, the one most inclined to roll with the punches. She’d always thought he accepted things at face value, including Harlan’s own view of himself as omnipotent. Obviously she’d fallen into the trap of viewing him merely as the baby in the family. The truth was he’d grown into a caring, thoughtful man.
“That’s what I tried to tell Luke, but the accident didn’t happen here. It happened on his land. He seems to think he should have prevented it somehow.” She looked into Cody’s worried eyes. “Talk to him. Maybe you can get him to see reason. I couldn’t.”
Cody looked doubtful. “Jessie, if you couldn’t reach him, I don’t see how I can. You were always able to communicate with him, even when the rest of us were ready to give up in frustration.”
Jessie sighed. “Well, not this time.”
At the doorway to the suite she had shared with Erik she paused. Cody leaned down and brushed a light kiss across her cheek. “I’m glad you’re back, Jessie. We’ve missed you around here. I think the last ounce of serenity around this place vanished the day you left.”
She was startled by the sweet assessment of her importance to this household where she’d always felt like an interloper. “Thanks, Cody. Saying that is the nicest gift anyone could have given me.”
He grinned. “Don’t say that until you’ve opened those packages downstairs. Something tells me everyone’s gone overboard in anticipation of your return and the arrival of the baby.” He winked at her. “One thing this family is very good at is bribery.”
“Bribery?”
“So you’ll stay, of course. You don’t think Daddy will be one bit happy about his first grandbaby growing up halfway across the state. He’s going to want to supervise everything from cradle to college. Hell, he’ll probably try to handpick her husband for her. Just be sure he doesn’t make her part of some business deal.”
Before Jessie could react to that, Cody was already thundering down the stairs again.
“Cody, for heaven’s sakes, remember where the dickens you are,” Harlan bellowed from somewhere downstairs.
“I’m just in a hurry to get another slice of Maritza’s pie,” Cody shouted back, unrepentant.
“No more pie until dinner,” Mary called out. “There won’t be a bit left for the rest of us.”
“Mother, Maritza’s been baking for a month,” Cody retorted. “There must be enough pies in the kitchen to feed half of Texas. You’ve only invited a quarter of the state at last count. One slice won’t be missed.”
Jessie stood for a moment longer, listening to the once-familiar bickering and decided that this, too, was what it meant to be part of a family. Somehow, though, with neither Erik nor Luke