A Mother Forever

pulled down years earlier, instead of in a little house with a garden where she could grow roses, as he’d promised. Ruby had no idea about gardening, but on a Sunday school trip into the country she’d spotted such a house and had mentioned it to Eddie in the days leading up to their wedding. She’d kept holding on to her dream as they had moved from one awful home to another. Along the way, Milly had joined them; she hardly had the means to support herself and her meagre earnings diverted to Eddie’s pocket to pay for her keep.
‘Watch it!’ Stella shouted, grabbing Ruby’s arm and pulling her back onto the pavement and away from an approaching tram. ‘Blimey, love, we didn’t get you over your illness just to have you perish under one of these new-fangled tramcars. You was in another world there for a while.’
Ruby was shaking from the shock, but stopped to look at Stella. ‘I wasn’t ill. I was grieving for my Sarah,’ she said, before bursting into tears.
‘Oh my, you are in a state. I’m sorry if my words offended you. Look, there’s a cafe just here. Much better than those posh tearooms in Pier Road. Let me get you sat down with a hot drink and we can have a chat,’ Stella said, steering her into the busy establishment, where they found an empty table.
Ruby wiped her eyes on the cuff of her faded wool coat and tried to pull herself together. ‘Sorry. I don’t know what came over me,’ she said as she sat down on a small wooden chair in the corner of the room. Stella removed a used white plate and mug from the table and placed them onto the high counter.
‘Two teas and a couple of those, when you’re ready, Marge,’ she said, indicating a pile of small meat pies stacked under a glass dome.
Marge, a generously built woman swathed in a clean cotton apron, nodded in acknowledgement while frantically buttering bread.
‘I’ll be with you in two ticks, love. I’m run off me feet today, what with being on me own. My Sid’s got another of his chests.’
Stella made a sympathetic noise and turned away from the counter to sit down with Ruby, who had done her best to compose herself. She reached out and covered Ruby’s hand with her own. ‘You know, it is all right to be angry. I know we’ve not known each other long but because of what happened I feel we’re already close friends. Why, I look on you as the daughter I never had . . .’ She stopped speaking mid-sentence as a stricken look crossed Ruby’s pale face. ‘I’m sorry – I must be more careful what I say,’ she added, as Ruby reached into her pocket for a square of rag on which to wipe her eyes.
‘No – I’ve got to learn not to get so upset. You are the only one I can talk to about . . . about Sarah. Please, you mustn’t ever think you have upset me. I’ll do my best not to get so tearful. I just wish I knew what they’d done with her. Does that sound wrong?’
‘No, my love. You have a right to know. When you took poorly and we could see this baby wasn’t coming as it should have done, we sent for Doctor Hind, and he came along with Nurse Rose. I was sent from the room, and your mum stayed with you for a while – until it got too much for her, and she left in a hurry. She mumbled that it was all over, so I went back into the room to be with you.’
Ruby searched Stella’s face and could only see sympathy and concern. ‘Did you see her . . .? It’s just that Mum said it wasn’t pleasant, and she wouldn’t have had a good life if she’d survived. I can’t get that thought out of my mind.’ She bit her lip, fighting the tears that threatened to return.
Stella shook her head in disgust. Why would a mother say such things to a daughter who had just lost a child? ‘I did see her, and she had the most beautiful hair, just like your George’s. Very fine, but you could see there would be curls.’
Ruby sighed. ‘I’m so pleased. Mum must have been wrong, then?’
Stella paused for a moment. She didn’t want to base their new friendship on lies, but all the same, would never say what she’d really witnessed. ‘Let’s just say Milly was probably distraught at losing a grandchild. It was hard for everyone present. Why, even Doctor Hind had a tear in his eye.’
Ruby felt a weight of relief flood over her. ‘I imagined they bundled her away with no respect for what might have been . . . Where is she, Stella? I really thought I could have had a funeral for her.’
They stopped speaking as Marge put two mugs of tea on the table. Both mugs were held in one of her chubby hands, while in the other were two pies on a plate. ‘Pay me when you’re ready to leave,’ she said, seeing that the younger woman with Stella seemed upset. ‘I don’t think we’ve met before, love. I’m Marge Dobkins. Me and the old fella run this place. Are you visiting the town?’
‘This is Mrs Caselton. She’s not long moved in across the road from me, Marge,’ Stella said, smiling at the larger woman.
‘How do you do, Mrs Caselton?’ Marge wiped her hands on her apron before offering one to Ruby.
Ruby took her hand and winced as it was pumped up and down in a vice-like grip. ‘Please, you must call me Ruby. You have a very nice place here, Marge.’
‘It keeps me busy and the old man out of trouble,’ Marge said, puffing herself up with pride. ‘If I do say so myself, my meat puddings and mutton pies are the best in all the town. People leave here satisfied and without cause for complaint. I just wish I had some more