A Mother Forever

help around the place. I get home every night exhausted. Oh well, mustn’t complain,’ she said as someone called to her to be served. ‘Enjoy your tea, and welcome to Erith.’
‘She seems very nice,’ Ruby said as she sipped the scalding hot amber liquid from the large mug.
‘Salt of the earth,’ Stella said, noting what lovely manners Ruby had. ‘Now, where were we?’
‘I wondered what they’d done with my daughter,’ Ruby said, staring into her mug. ‘Once I know, I’ll feel at peace. I’ve had such dreams about her. She’s been calling for me and crying out. I woke up once and thought I could hear her.’
Stella thought it was more likely to be Mrs Henderson from number seventeen’s old moggy out on the tiles, but did not say so. ‘Grief can do strange things to us,’ she said, not wanting to tell any more of what she knew.
Ruby became frustrated, clenching her hands together until her knuckles turned white, but dared not scream and shout at Stella even though she wanted nothing more than to demand to know what had happened to her baby. ‘Please, Stella, I really do want to know where she is, even if it is not pleasant,’ she implored.
‘Pleasant? Goodness me, as if I’d let anything awful happen to an innocent baby. They just take them away, Ruby. The ones that never wake up are simply taken away.’
‘Is that what happened to your baby boy?’ Ruby asked softly, now she had started to get somewhere.
‘No, my Stanley has a grave up at Saint Paulinus churchyard. You see, he took a breath and he cried. He was so poorly and passed away before the day was out. However, I’ll never forget my first baby . . .’
It was Ruby’s turn to reach across the marble-topped table and take Stella’s hand. ‘I’m sorry to have asked. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you.’
Stella waved away the apology. ‘I’ve had long enough to accept what happened. I have my faith,’ she said, reaching for a small silver cross that hung on a chain at her throat. ‘I’ll meet him again one day.’
Ruby nodded in agreement. Although she wasn’t one for religion, she knew it was of help to some people. ‘It must be a comfort to you. But what about my Sarah, where is she?’
Stella sighed. She knew that Ruby would never let up asking her. She’d be the same if it were her little one that hadn’t survived. ‘I know the nurse who was attending with Doctor Hind took her away. She told me it’s what they do,’ she said, as she saw a distressed look cross Ruby’s face. ‘Perhaps we could pay the doctor a visit and ask him? Would that help?’
‘Oh please, it would help so much. When can we go and ask him?’
‘Let’s finish up here, then we can pop in and see him. He is no doubt working in the cottage hospital – he’s a big supporter of our hospital,’ she added proudly, noticing Ruby’s quizzical look.
‘Is that the large house we walked past just now – the one with the trees and wooden fence? I spotted a nurse at the door.’
‘That’s the place. Now, come on, tuck in to that pie. We need to get some meat back on your bones. There’s hardly anything of you.’
Ruby could have screamed: after standing for ages in the reception room of the cottage hospital, they were told the doctor was with a poorly patient and it would be best for them to return another time.
‘I’m so sorry,’ the nurse said, seeing Ruby’s disappointment. ‘Are you ill? I may be able to help.’
‘We just wanted to ask him something,’ Stella said, taking Ruby’s arm to lead her towards the door.
Ruby pulled away, not wishing to leave the building that might hold the secret of what had happened to her daughter. ‘Please, I just want to know what Doctor Hind did with my baby after she was stillborn. Can someone help me?’ she begged, as her tears started to fall unchecked.
The nurse felt a surge of sympathy as she looked at the distraught young woman in front of her. There was nothing of her, and she looked younger than her own daughter, who had not long given birth to a bouncing baby boy. ‘Were you admitted to this hospital?’
Ruby shook her head, unable to speak. Was it possible the nurse would help her? There again, she wouldn’t know anything about Sarah, as she had been born at Stella’s house. As she took a shuddering breath and opened her mouth to speak, Stella stepped forward.
‘Mrs Caselton’s baby daughter was born in my front bedroom just around the corner in Alexandra Road. Doctor Hind was in attendance, due to her being so poorly. The child did not survive and was taken away. We just wondered . . .’
All three women fell silent, Ruby and Stella hoping against hope that the nurse would be able to give them some information.
The nurse wondered whether she would get into trouble if she imparted what she knew. She glanced over her shoulder towards the double doors leading into the small hospital, aware that at any time a colleague or superior might come through them and catch her saying something she shouldn’t. She drew them to one side, where there was a wooden bench. ‘Would you like to sit down?’
‘No, thank you,’ Ruby answered, keen to know why the woman had not led them straight to the front door. Stella tugged Ruby’s sleeve to make her do as requested, and they both sat down.
‘Do you know something?’ Stella urged, noticing for the first time the stray grey hairs escaping from beneath the elaborate white starched cap, as well as the rising colour of the nurse’s cheeks and trembling hands. ‘We don’t want you to get into trouble. Perhaps it would be best if we just left?’
Ruby wanted to scream again. She closed her eyes and quickly prayed that the nurse, if she knew something, would not change her mind about