Topsy Turvy Kinda Love
I’m just providing emotional support shit and all that.”“Thanks.” My eyes get misty, and she laughs at me. “Hey, don’t laugh.”
“If you aren’t pregnant, there’s something seriously wrong with you…”
I pee in front of my audience of one on six different sticks. “The box says two to three minutes until we know for sure, Mia.”
I nod, wanting to scream and cry. I chew my nails down to the nubs, my nerves all jacked up like I shot straight heroin into my veins. But that would be bad for the baby, my mind whispers.
The two minute time I set on my phone dings, I look at Zara, and she smiles. “Deep breath, girl.”
I’m frozen to the toilet seat. “I can’t.”
“Okay, I’ll look.” She takes a moment to look at each stick in front of her, and my heartbeat pounds more with each second that passes. “Well, the jury has decided that you’re definitely growing a bun in there.” She holds up all six sticks, and sure enough, every single one has a pregnant, two pink lines, or plus signs. My heart sinks. It’s true.
“Looks like I’m pregnant.”
“It’s definitely Brooks’ right, Mia?”
“Yeah, he’s the only one I’ve been sleeping with. We agreed to be mutually exclusive while we were fucking.”
“Well, looks like you’re going to be a little bit more exclusive now… you’re going to be a mom, Mia.”
My heart quakes at the thought. “I’m scared shitless, Zar. I don’t know how to do this. You know my childhood. My mother was a piece of shit. What if I end up just like her?” Tears slip down my cheeks, and I can’t hide the fear that escapes with each droplet.
She wraps me in a tight hug. “You are better than your mother, Mia. So much better, and I know that you’re going to be a great mom.”
I notice a tear slide down her face and pull back. “Hold up, is that an emotion, Zara? Do I see a tear shed for me?”
“Get over it. I’m trying to be an emotional support or whatever shit you call it. Now, do you want a hug or not?” I nod my head, resting it on her shoulder as she hugs me. I have no idea where we go from here or what will happen when I finally grow balls and tell Brooks he’s going to be a dad.
“Seriously, though, how are you feeling other than scared shitless?”
“I think this is…shocked. Yeah, I think I’m just shocked. I never thought I would be in this position. For years, I’ve played it safe. Brooks comes crashing in, and all of a sudden I can’t tell up from down, left from right, on from off. I don’t really know what to think.”
“If you want, I can stay here until Brooks gets home? I’ll leave once he’s here. I just don’t want to leave you alone right now.”
I nod, stifling a tear. “You’re my best bish, and I love your face.”
“I love your face too. Now, what was it that you wanted earlier?”
“Wavy lays chips and chocolate sauce?”
“That sounds horrible. Do you have some?”
“Yep, sure do. Chips in the pantry and chocolate sauce is in the fridge.”
“Okay, let’s go sit on the couch.” She tucks me under a blanket on the couch and puffs up the pillow behind me. I can’t think straight right now, so I appreciate her thinking for me. I sit there numb, not sure of anything other than the fact that I am for sure pregnant. Running my hands over my still skinny stomach, I wonder when I’ll see the baby bump everyone talks about. I hear Zara rustling around in the kitchen, and she appears in front of me minutes later. My weird ass craving in her hands.
“You’re my favorite person right now.”
“I know I am. Now scoot your fat ass over, I’m sitting on the couch too.” I huff, trying my best to pretend to pout over giving up my space but then I just accept it.
My phone dings, and I see Brooks’ name pop up on the screen. A smile tugs at the corner of my lips, and I wonder what he’s sending me this time. He’s been genuinely trying to figure out this sexting thing, and even though it’s still horrible, I appreciate the effort he’s putting into it.
Brooks: How’s my sexy little pixie doing this afternoon, missing me?
Me: You could say that.
Brooks: You going to get wet for me later tonight? I want to lick your cotton candy pussy until you swear allegiance to the empire.
Me: Oh God, Brooks. Did you really just Star Wars theme sext me?
Brooks: Um… *shrugging shoulders emoji*
I can’t help but laugh out loud. In the midst of my anxiety, he still manages to take my mind off of it only for just a few seconds. I show it to Zara, and she laughs along with me. “I thought you said he was a boss in bed?”
“Oh, he is. He’s just absolutely horrible at sexting, no matter how many times we try.”
“Well, I guess it’s good he’s better in person. I mean, obviously, he must be doing something right, or he’s just got mega swimmers. Either way, you’re the evidence of his amazing skills in bed. Less than two months, and you’ve got a bun in the oven.”
I throw a pillow at her, shaking my head. “Have you lost your mind?”
“Nope, just wanted to see you smile again. It’s been a hard day. Might as well have a little fun with it. Have you figured out how you’re going to break the news?”
“I figured I would get a big banner and hang it on the front door so I can really freak him out before he can start processing it when he comes in?”
“That’s a horrible idea…”
“I know… I just. I don’t want him to think I trapped him into this when I’m the one who told him that I didn’t want to label us.”
“I don’t think he’ll think that at all.”
“How do you