Bitter Pills

at the screen for a moment before taking it from his palm. When I held it up to my ear, Alessandro started gathering our luggage.
“Hello,” I answered cautiously.
“You’re in so much trouble,” Gavriel growled. He’d become so overprotective since I was captured by Santobello’s men. I couldn’t blame him, but certainly he knew this was one mission I wouldn’t budge on. Nix was my person. I bet if it were Sunshine hiding in some apartment in Mexico, he would do whatever it took to get to her.
“Have you talked to Sunshine yet?” I asked, changing the subject.
“She told you,” Gavriel replied. His voice didn’t sound like a question but a statement.
“Congrats! I can’t wait to be an auntie.”
“Stop changing the fucking subject,” Gavriel snapped, “...and thank you.” His voice sounded distant, and if I didn’t know any better, I’d say it sounded like he was freaking the fuck out—or at least, Gavriel’s version of freaking out. Which basically just meant he’d be murdering someone for sport later.
I let out a sigh while walking down the steps of my brother’s private plane, meeting Alessandro by a parked black Escalade on the runway. He had his shades pulled down, even though it was dark outside. “I’m not coming back, Gav. I know you worry, but I’ll be okay.”
“Let me speak to Alessandro, please,” Gavriel replied. His voice was void of all emotion. My brother was hard to read. I think the only people he ever truly let in were the Bullets and Sunshine. I didn’t mind. We danced around caring for one another, but at the end of the day, we were just blood—blood that didn’t really mean anything. So what if we weren’t friendly? We didn’t really do the whole family thing, which was fine with me. I liked the casual nature of our relationship; it made disobeying him that much easier. Once you were in my brother’s web, he didn’t give a fuck about right or wrong. The entire world became one big gray area of doing whatever he pleased.
He cared about me. He was protective of me. But I wasn’t in that special circle of people he locked in his heart, and I was thankful for it. Loving my brother cost many people their freedom. And maybe sometimes I looked at their group and wished I could find my own special place amongst them, but I consoled myself with the fact that it was easier this way.
Alessandro took the phone as I let myself into the back seat. I didn’t really want to listen to them argue about how dangerous this potentially was. I didn’t really care. I craved answers like my dead mother craved drugs. I was no stranger to hardship, death, or danger. I knew what could possibly happen and wasn’t scared to look evil in the eye. I was a Moretti, after all.
Alessandro stood outside for a moment, listening to my brother rant while the driver put our belongings in the back. I dug around my purse for the envelope that Sunshine gave me. I opened it and stared at a grainy photo of Nix leaving the building. I could barely make out his features, but I knew it was him. It took my brother’s team a lot of work to find this. I wondered what it would be like when we reconnected. Would Nix be happy? Sad? Angry? Would he run to my arms and wrap me up in a hug? Would he flee? What if he didn’t want me anymore? What if I built our entire relationship up in my mind and he didn’t really give two fucks about me?
I couldn’t help but wonder if he missed me as much as I missed him. I couldn’t help but fear the possibility that he didn’t care at all.
And there was a darker concern lingering in the back of my mind. Something that I refused to acknowledge but still surfaced when I was feeling particularly weak.
Would he love Alessandro more?
I wasn’t blind. I knew they had history. I knew Alessandro was on the mission for the exact same reason I was.
I just didn’t know who Nix would choose in the end.
The car door opened and Alessandro slid inside, the phone no longer in his hand. “You are a pain in the ass, you know that?” he gritted while grabbing my seatbelt and buckling me in. I rolled my eyes at his overprotective display. I bet Gavriel gave him a long list of things to do involving my safety. I wouldn’t be surprised if an entire army of guards greeted us at Nix’s apartment. I knew my brother had plenty of connections in Mexico, and he had no problem pulling the loyalty card and demanding they keep an eye on me. I wasn’t looking forward to the fanfare.
“Did he read you the riot act?” I asked. “Is he going to make you follow me into the bathroom? Jump in front of any stray bullets we encounter?” I teased.
“It’s nothing I’m not already obligated to do,” he snapped. My playfulness waned, and I frowned at his words.
“You aren’t obligated to do anything,” I replied in a clipped tone before crossing my arms over my chest. We drove down a crowded street. The sky was dark, but streetlights sprinkled light along the asphalt as we drove.
“I’m obligated to keep you safe. I made a promise.”
“Made a promise to who?” I asked. “My brother? Because that’s not his style. He just orders them around and demands loyalty. Promises are worthless when you’re a god. Obedience isn’t a choice.”
Alessandro turned to face me, his lips pressed into a thin line. I could tell he let something slip. I could tell this wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have. Tough shit. “I promised Nix,” he whispered, the admission paining him.
“When?” I asked, gasping.
“Do you remember the night before he left?” Alessandro asked as the Escalade turned on a busy street. I winced. How could I possibly forget?
Nix and I were at the