Holden's Resurrection (Gemini Group Book 6)

her hard to get married and do it before we left on that workup. She was so scared I didn’t know how to tell her.”
Acid bubbled as vile thoughts ran through Holden’s head.
“Did he…get her pregnant on purpose?” The question left a sour taste behind and more anger grew.
“I think he knew she was at the bar with Alison and hightailed his ass over there looking for his shot. There was only one thing he could do to hurt you and that was to take Charleigh. I think her winding up pregnant was icing on that particular cake. With her trapped, he’d win.”
“Jesus Christ. Fucking hell!” Holden exploded.
With his body taut and his temper rising, Holden thought back to that night. The team had all been at Weston’s place playing poker. Holden was coming back to the table from grabbing a beer when he heard Nixon mumbling this was his last hand, Alison and Charleigh were at The Dog and drunk, and he needed to pick them up. Nix had made his statement quietly, not meaning for Holden to overhear. By that time, no one was mentioning Charleigh’s name in front of him. Before the hand was dealt, Paul had stood and announced he was done for the night.
Paul had heard Charleigh was drunk and left.
Son of a bitch.
“I saw them that night,” Holden admitted. “When I left Weston’s, I went to her place to apologize. I couldn’t live with what I’d done to her and I needed to tell her the truth. Then I saw them get out of a taxi. I sat outside like a stalker and waited until Paul left.”
“Christ, Holden, you never said you saw them.”
“I’ve never said a lot of shit I should’ve. I never told Charleigh about Paul fucking other women. I never told her why I left her.”
“Why haven’t you?”
“Because it no longer matters.”
Holden barely recognized his own voice. Defeat laced every word. He’d fucked up and lost her and now it felt like he was losing her all over again. A feeling that was so crippling he wasn’t sure he’d survive. Hell, he didn’t deserve to survive it. He’d earned every twinge of pain, every stab of regret, every twist of the knife when he looked at Faith.
“I think it matters a lot, Holden. It’s been years and neither of you have moved on. If nothing else, don’t you think you owe it to her to come clean so she can find some semblance of happiness? I’ve watched her since she’s moved here. She’s not living. She works, she gives everything to Faith, she smiles on cue when she’s with us, but she is miserable. And I’m not even gonna start on how you live your life—but, brother, it’s painful to watch. Don’t you want to find a woman and have a family?”
A trail of agony slithered down his spine.
Family.
Holden wasn’t capable of having a family—that option had been taken away from him courtesy of the Navy.
“No, Chasin, I don’t want either of those,” he lied.
The truth was, all Holden had wanted was to build a family with Charleigh.
“Holden—”
“Trust me, a family is something I will never have.”
That wasn’t a lie. Holden would never have what he’d desired most. He was utterly incapable of making one.
The two men stood in the tiny space and locked eyes. Holden allowed his friend to see every ounce of remorse and pain he felt. When Chasin clenched his jaw, Holden knew he saw it.
Before Chasin could question him further, he changed the subject. “Who’s going in with Micky tomorrow?”
The team had decided to delay reaching out to Kimberly’s mom until they had more information. There was no need to cause the woman anymore pain than she’d already experienced if Jonny was wrong and the incidences weren't linked. No one wanted to cause the grieving mother undue stress.
However, after a week of investigating, the team felt Jonny was right and it was time for Micky to make contact with Kimberly’s mom.
“No one. She wants to go in alone. It’s her opinion Donna Lot wouldn’t be comfortable with any of us there.”
Holden nodded his agreement. They’d discussed some of the questions Micky was going to ask and he didn’t think any mother would be comfortable discussing her daughter’s possible abuse in front of a man, especially one she didn’t know.
“I hate for Micky to take it on herself, but it’s the best play.”
Once again, the men fell silent, a host of emotions flickering in Chasin’s gaze. His right eye twitched—Chasin’s tell that he was annoyed—and Holden braced.
“I think you need to tell Charleigh who Paul really was.”
That was not what he thought his friend was going to say. He was also not going to get into another Charleigh conversation.
“That’s not gonna happen. I already let a few things slip. He’s dead and gone. I’m not going to dishonor the memory of her husband.” The flavor of his words made him wince.
Her husband.
Charleigh had married the bastard.
His beauty Leigh-Leigh had a lying, cheating asshole for a husband and that was Holden’s fault, too.
“Hold—”
“You should go see what Evie’s up to,” Holden cut him off.
“Stubborn fuck,” Chasin muttered and exited.
He wasn’t stubborn, he was finally being smart.
Hours later, Holden was in bed on his back staring at his favorite picture. Leigh-Leigh sitting in his lap, her thick brown hair loose around her, a beautiful smile on her face, her eyes brimming with happiness. She looked so happy. He looked like a man who knew he had it all.
Then he threw it away.

9
“Do you think when me and Rory are done, can you take us to get milkshakes?” Faith happily chirped.
It had been a long, exhausting week and I was looking forward to Aurora Hall coming over to play with Faith all morning. With Rory over, Faith would be occupied and I could finally have time to look over the paperwork my attorney had mailed me.
For the last two weeks, I’d slept like shit. All I could think about was