Monkey Business (Bob and Nikki Book 10)
is it just you and Dixie?”“We can all hook in as we need. Why do you ask?”
“Just curious how bots always seem to show up when I need them.”
“We try to take care of you, Boss. We like working for you.”
“How many more of these courses do I need to take?”
“This one, and the one in the morning.”
“Good. Mrs. Wilson says they give me strange dreams.”
“Should I report that to Mr. Branham?”
“Do as you see fit, but I don’t think they are bad enough to be a problem, especially if I’m almost done.”
“Let’s get you lit up.”
When I came out of it, John was there. He asked, “I hear you have been having bad dreams, Bob.”
I replied, “That’s what Nikki said. I hadn’t noticed. She caught me trying to cuss in Squirrel when she got up to pee.”
“You haven’t had any other symptoms?”
“You would have to ask her. I wasn’t aware of that one.”
He said, “Gene, would you page Mrs. Wilson to the ready room, please?”
“On it, Mr. Branham.”
Nikki came flying through the door. I said, “I’m all right. John just wants to ask you some questions.”
She thought for a moment. “About the dreams?”
“Yep.”
She turned to John. “What do you need to know?”
“Was it just the once, or is it a regular thing?”
“I’ve only caught him at it the once, John.”
“He said you thought he was trying to cuss in Squirrel, is that right?”
“That’s what it sounded like to me.”
John turned to me. “I need your permission to violate your privacy.”
“Go ahead. If my mind isn’t working like it should, that’s something we need to know.”
He said, “Gene, tile the lodge.”
“Done, Sir.”
“Show me video of any bad dreams the Captain has had.”
“Sir, it is as Mrs. Wilson said. He has only had the one bad dream since he has been aboard.”
“Play that back then, please.”
We saw a record of me, tossing and turning, and then I started trying to speak Squirrel. John asked, “Gene, is that clear enough to translate?”
“It’s pretty poor pronunciation, but as near as I can make out, he keeps saying, ‘Get these monkeys out of my sky.’”
John said, “That sounds like a reasonable thing for a Squirrel Commander to say. I think you’re still functional, Bob.”
“That’s good to know. At least, I only have one more lesson to take.”
“Do you think that it’s doing you any good?”
“I’m not sure. I have a much better idea of how the Squirrels will react to a given situation, but I don’t think their way of doing things is all that good.”
“You mean their tactics aren’t as good as ours?”
“I mean Greg could beat one of these turkeys on an off day. Their stuff is all based on shows of force and bluffing your opponent. They don’t have contingencies for when that doesn’t work.”
“It sounds like you are describing a schoolyard bully, not a spacefaring race.”
I thought on that a second. “It does, doesn’t it?”
Jasmine asked, “So, Mr. Branham, do you think the Captain is fit for duty?”
“Sure. He’s the same old Bob.”
I replied, “Glad to hear it, Doc. You going to help me figure out how to get the Squirrels’ attention?”
“Not tonight. We’re still working on that project.”
“Crap! I didn’t interrupt again, did I?”
“Nope, but I better get back.”
“Did you get with Scotti about that sound insulation? Don’t want Greg getting an education before his time.”
“Yes, she put in better sound insulation. Asshole!”
“See you tomorrow, then.”
“What’s happening tomorrow?”
“Don’t know yet. That’s what makes it exciting.”
“Sometimes, you scare me, Bob.”
“Only sometimes? I’ll try harder.”
“Goodnight, Bob.”
“Goodnight, John.”
Once he was gone, I asked Gene, “You feel like trying an experiment?”
“What kind of experiment, Boss?”
“Let’s see how smart Snitz really is. You pipe me whistling for him to wherever he is, and give him a light trail. We’ll see if he’s sharp enough to follow it. He’s seen me follow them before, I think he can figure it out.”
“Okay, Boss. I’m ready.”
I stepped out in the hall and whistled. Gene said, “I think he has the idea, Boss. He’s following the lights. I’m going to give him a transit, so he doesn’t have to run so far.”
The transit opened, and Snitz ran out. I asked, “Hi, Buddy. Wanna play some Frisbee?”
We went down to the compartment where we had played before, and had a good time. It didn’t seem like much time had passed at all, when Gene said, “Captain, Mrs. Wilson is looking for you. She says it’s time for you to go to bed.”
“Tell her I’ll be there as soon as I take Snitz by the grass room.”
“Yes, Boss.”
We went and made sure everything was in order. Snitz had some pee-mail he had to catch up on. When he got it sorted out, we headed to the cabin. He came in with me, and I asked, “You sure they’ll be alright without you?”
He tilted his head, thought a minute, and laid down. I said, “I’m cool, if you’re cool.”
Nikki asked, “What are you two talking about?”
“I was just asking if he needed to go back to Nelly and Scott.”
She smiled and asked, “And what did he tell you?”
“He thought it over, and decided they would be okay with their Uncle.”
“You never cease to amaze me, Caveman. You almost make me believe you can understand him.”
“Don’t you have something else to worry about right now?”
“You’re the one who needs practice. I’ve got nothing to worry about.”
Morning is a wonderful idea. Too bad it happens at such an inconvenient time. Snitz gave me the morning lick, and I got started on my day. We went by the grass room,